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The Unwritten Rules of Social Relationships: Decoding Social Mysteries Through the Unique Perspectives of Autism [Hardcover]

By Speaker Temple Grandin (Author), Sean Barron (Author) & Veronica Zysk (Editor)
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Item description for The Unwritten Rules of Social Relationships: Decoding Social Mysteries Through the Unique Perspectives of Autism by Speaker Temple Grandin, Sean Barron & Veronica Zysk...

Dr. Grandin and Barron address the social challenges those with autism and Asperger's face, explaining in the process how confusing and illogical normal societal rules can be. They also address the "unwritten rules" that most children understand instinctively but are a mystery to those on the spectrum. They teach how to trust feelings, be assertive in a positive way, and deal with negative people and situations.

Publishers Description
Silver Award Winner in the 2005 ForeWord Book of the Year Awards Born with autism, both authors now famously live successful social lives. But their paths were very different. Temple's logical mind controlled her social behavior. She interacted with many adults and other children, experiencing varied social situations. Logic informed her decision to obey social rules and avoid unpleasant consequences. Sean's emotions controlled his social behavior. Baffled by social rules, isolated and friendless, he made up his own, and applied them to others. When they inevitably broke his rules, he felt worthless and unloved. Both Temple and Sean ultimately came to terms with the social world and found their places in it. Whether you are a person with autism, a caregiver in the autism community, or just someone interested in an "outsider" view of society, their powerful stories will enthrall and enlighten you. Helpful sections include: Two Perspectives on Social ThinkingTwo Minds: Two PathsThe Ten Unwritten Rules of Social Relationships, which include: Rule #1: Rules are Not Absolute. They are Situation-based and People-basedRule #2: Not Everything is Equally Important in the Grand Scheme of ThingsRule #3: Everyone in the World Makes Mistakes. It Doesn't Have to Ruin Your Day.Rule #4: Honesty is Different than DiplomacyRule #5: Being Polite is Appropriate in Any SituationRule #6: Not Everyone Who is Nice to Me is My FriendRule #7: People Act Differently in Public than They Do in PrivateRule #8: Know When You're Turning People OffRule #9: "Fitting In" is Often Tied to Looking and Sounding Like You Fit InRule # 10: People are Responsible for Their Own Behaviors

Awards and Recognitions
The Unwritten Rules of Social Relationships: Decoding Social Mysteries Through the Unique Perspectives of Autism by Speaker Temple Grandin, Sean Barron & Veronica Zysk has received the following awards and recognitions -

  • ForeWord Book of the Year Award - 2005 Second Place - Family & Relationships category

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Item Specifications...

Pages   383
Est. Packaging Dimensions:   Length: 1.25" Width: 6.5" Height: 9.5"
Weight:   1.5 lbs.
Binding  Hardcover
Release Date   Nov 1, 2005
Publisher   Future Horizons
ISBN  193256506X  
ISBN13  9781932565065  

Availability  10 units.
Availability accurate as of Oct 24, 2016 02:26.
Usually ships within one to two business days from La Vergne, TN.
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More About Speaker Temple Grandin, Sean Barron & Veronica Zysk

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Temple Grandin (born August 29, 1947) is an American doctor of animal science and professor at Colorado State University, bestselling author, and consultant to the livestock industry on animal behavior. As a person with high functioning autism, Grandin is also widely noted for her work in autism advocacy and is the inventor of the hug machine designed to calm hypersensitive persons.

Grandin is listed in the 2010 TIME 100 list of the 100 most influential people in the world in the category Heroes

Tony Attwood (born 9 February 1952, Birmingham, England) is an English Psychologist who lives in Queensland, Australia and is an author of several bestselling books on Asperger's Syndrome. He speaks on autism and Asperger's Syndrome around the world.

His book, Asperger's Syndrome: A Guide for Parents and Professionals has now been translated into 20 languages.

Attwood also has a clinical practice at his diagnostic and treatment clinic for children and adults with Asperger s Syndrome, in Brisbane, begun in 1992.


Temple Grandin currently resides in the state of Colorado. Temple Grandin has an academic affiliation as follows - Colorado State University Colorado State University, USA Colorado Stat.

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Product Categories

1Books > Subjects > Health, Mind & Body > Relationships > Interpersonal Relations
2Books > Subjects > Parenting & Families > General

Reviews - What do customers think about The Unwritten Rules of Social Relationships: Decoding Social Mysteries Through the Unique Perspectives of Autism?

Very helpful, enlightening and practical  May 30, 2008
As a man in my 40's who recently discovered I have symptoms of Asperger's, this book was very helpful. It's a well written, easy read. The stories and advice of the two authors are interwoven in such a way to provide alternate perspectives. Grandin is logical. Barron is emotional. The authors offer practical advice in compensating for literal rigid thinking, anxiety by adjusting diet and increasing flexibility and learning social rules. Grandin speaks frankly. I learned much about myself and other people.
Eye opening, very helpful  May 19, 2008
The Unwritten Rules of Social Relationships: Decoding Social Mysteries Through the Unique Perspectives of AutismAs the parent of 2 children and a husband with Asperger's, this book (I've read many)has many Aha moments. Very well written and very insightful. A must read for parents, teachers, etc. who work with children with Autism and Aspergers. I originally bought this book to help my now teenage boys with the social aspects of growing up but I have learned just as much if not more about how they look at life.
Great information  Feb 13, 2008
This book if filled with great information about Temple and Sean growing up in and how their disorder effected all parts of their lives. This book is beneficial for other families and for professionals. I highly recommended this title!
"Mystiques of Autistic Processing and Societal Integration"  Feb 5, 2008
"Unwritten Rules of Social Relationships" Decoding Social Mysteries Through the Unique Perspectives of Autism", by Temple Grandin & Sean Baron and Editor Veronica Zysk. Future Horizons, TX 2005. ISBN 1-932565-06-X. HC 383 pages, no illust., 3 pgs. Ref. 9 1/4" x 6 1/4".

An intense, factual expose of the autistic mind-set interpreted through the minds of two published writers, both of whom worked successfully to overcome their ASD (autism spectrum disorder) disabilities, including AS (Asperger's) or Aspies. The book's format was uniquely addressed by having a skilled editor monitor major issues and allowing the authors to define & explicate personal experiences & varied techniques they used to overcome obstacles and deficiencies, nearly all of which involved social interaction with peers, parents & professionals (teachers or employers).

Importantly the spectral divergence of afflictions were compared and categorized into basic subtypes as Imaging vs Logical (flat affect) vs Emotional types; noting need to become integrated in society through compensatory, modified behaviors, while stressing importance of obtaining early help through parenting, mentors, professionals and inherent need to gain motivation and self-esteem. Great emphasis is placed on the "Ten Unwritten Rules of Social Relationship", most of which are social skills & behaviors taught under generic term of manners, etc., and are discussed in a highly emphatic but coherent manner. Specific weak links in ASD include rigidity of thought & behavior, difficulty in multi-tasking, emotional absence or lability, lack of perspective thinking, and naiveté or guilelessness wherein unfair advantage is easily taken of them.

The book, as a primer teaching tool, rightfully contains modest prolixity, which in and of itself is common to ASD. The mismatch of the sensory inputs (visual, auditory, touch, etc.) often requires environmental adjustments or elimination, at times the use of medications or special diets, and regular exercise is emphasized. Conclusions include some brief synopses of other ASDs having diverse problems, some undiagnosed until adulthood. Current era where societal integration is less tightly bonded, family units fragmented and a heightened if not frantic pace of living reigns in a culture of increasing acceptance of using drugs, alcohol, smoking, sex, video-games, C-Ps and self-importance causes authors to suggest current-day treatment is more difficult than during the 50's and 60's when B&W TV was monitored.

This is a book that everyone, affected or not, would learn a great deal about successful societal integration.
A guide inside the Aspie mind  Nov 12, 2007
As a parent of an Aspie I often wonder how my son views the world. If you don't know where someone is at how can you reach them? This book is the guide to where Aspies are at. Temple and Sean are very different from each other and that is very helpful. They offer two different views of social situations.
This book is practical, offering a step by step set of rules. Aspies like ruls. I like this book.

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