Item description for A Lasting Promise: A Christian Guide to Fighting for Your Marriage by Scott M. Stanley, Stanley & Daniel Trathen...
Overview An important new resource for Christian living, this guidebook teaches couples about the essential skills needed to keep their marriages healthy for a lifetime of joy and commitment. Couples learn to discuss difficult issues safely and clearly, to use ground rules to contain arguments, and to enhance friendship, spirituality, and intimacy.
Publishers Description Build a Marriage of Lasting Love Finally a practical, easy-to-read book that deals with real marital issues from a Christian perspective Soundly based on both biblical principles and marital research, A Lasting Promise is a must read for any couple who wants to upgrade their marriage and make it a promise for life --David and Claudia Arp, authors of The Second Half of Marriage This essential resource offers Christian couples, a well-researched and proven method for dealing with conflicts and resolving problems in their marriage. A Lasting Promise offers solutions to common problems--facing conflicts, problem solving, improving communication, and dealing with core issues--within a religious framework. With the ultimate purpose of upholding the sanctity of marriage, the book is filled with stories that reflect the sacred teachings of the scripture. The strategies outlined can help Christian couples to improve communication, understand commitment, bring more fun into their relationship, and even enhance their sex life. This book will serve as an invaluable resource for all couples who want to honor and preserve the holy sacrament of their union.
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Est. Packaging Dimensions: Length: 9.12" Width: 6.3" Height: 0.85" Weight: 0.8 lbs.
Release Date Jun 1, 1998
Publisher John Wiley And Sons
ISBN 0787939838 ISBN13 9780787939830 UPC 723812375462
Availability 0 units.
More About Scott M. Stanley, Stanley & Daniel Trathen
Scott Stanley, Ph.D., coauthor of Fighting for Your Marriage, codirects the Center for Marital and Family Studies at the University of Denver. Daniel Trathen, Ph.D., is a psychologist in private practice and counseling educator. Savanna McCain, Ph.D., is a psychologist in private practice. Milt Bryan has been a counselor to couples for over twenty-five years.
Scott M. Stanley currently resides in Denver, in the state of Colorado. Scott M. Stanley has an academic affiliation as follows - Denver, Colorado Prevention and Relationship Enhancement Program (PREP.
Reviews - What do customers think about Lasting Promise: Christian GT Fighting 4 Marriage?
Great relationship/marriage tool, especially for those engaged. Feb 26, 2007
Having had moved over 2k miles to be with my fiance (CA to OH), I was eagerly looking into jumping into a premarital counseling program. With all the adjustments (move, weather, searching for new home church, limited contact w/ accountability team, vulnerability, and coming from total independence to dependence), issues, both past and present, came up and were inevitable for both of us. Having seeked out counseling at a nearby church, a counselor and wonderful wise man of God, Dr. Fink, recommended we read this book together. With our conflicting schedules, we were not able to participate in the onsite program at the church that covers this book. But, our counselor gave us some good advice when reading through this book together.
The method that's worked for us is reading one (1) chapter per week in our "own" convenient time and answer the questions/exercises on an index card or two in our own time (between Monday thru Thursday), exchange answer cards that Friday morning/afternoon (and wish each other a good day at work, etc), and then go over the answer cards "together" on Sunday evening (he reads to me what I wrote, I read to him what he wrote) and we discuss it (what lead to that, give each other examples, ask if we want to add to it, etc). This way, we have 2 days to process & ponder each others answers, and not immediately react and try to convince each other that one or the other's answer(s) is(are) better and/or right.
So far, we're on our third week, and although it's still early on, I'm finding lots of growth and acceptance in this. The concepts and techniques are simple and applicable. I'm hopeful once again, and am excited about doing the rest of the chapters. Lots of positive changes in both of us toward oneness, although we are not perfect and still have fallen and may fall short, though I can see we're putting into practice what we've learned so far and that's what helps us not give up, but stay hopeful.
Although we are doing this in our time w/out a counselor daily/weekly, our counselor has left the door open to us (together or alone) to come meet with him to discuss any problems or issues we can't seem to work on.
God willing, our plan is to do the PREP after these 14 weeks, and move forward with the wedding plans.
If you're reading this, I recommend you get the book. I don't think this book will get much dust on the shelves as it will be referenced often. I will also recommend this to family and friends (engaged, married, and those in long-term relationships).
Very pleased Jan 9, 2007
This book has helped us mend our marriage and grow to better communicate and understand each other. I highly recommend it for engaged, newlyweds, or people who have been married for years. God has truly blessed our marriage through this book.
marriage maker Mar 4, 2006
My husband and I both liked the book because it gives practical ways to communicate, which can cross over in all aspects of life. It gives helpful, concrete tools to use in relationships.
Wonderful book and program! Oct 28, 2005
This book, along with the non-Christian version, Fighting for your Marriage, is great! This is great marriage enrichment stuff and helps so much with communication, as well as increasing fun in your marriage. Great for small groups. [...]. As a mental health counselor, I use the tools in this book with my clients and highly recommend it! Also at the PREP website is a list of PREP instructors if you need more individualized help.
Great guide for both Christian clinicians and couples Sep 30, 2005
Part One: Handling Conflict / Protecting Your Marriage Ch. 1: Oneness Ch. 2: Four Key Patterns That Destroy Oneness Ch. 3: Communicating Safely and Clearly: The Speaker-Listener Technique Ch. 4: Problem Solving Ch. 5: Ground Rules for Protecting Your Marriage from Conflict Part Two: Going Deeper Ch. 6: Issues and Events Ch. 7: Unmet Expectations and What to Do About Them Ch. 8: Understanding Commitment Ch. 9: The Power of Commitment Ch. 10: Forgiveness and the Restoration of Intimacy Part Three: The Great Things Ch. 11: Preserving and Protecting Friendship Ch. 12: Increasing Your Fun Together Ch. 13: Enhancing and Protecting Your Sex Life Ch. 14: Spiritual Intimacy and Oneness
This book is a useful, easy to read and application and goal oriented book written for a wide audience. If I would to compare this book with other books on the topic of marriage, I would say this book can be described as "The Christian version of Gottman's Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work." The reason why I use the above description is because this book is similar to Gottman's book with plenty of easy to read and easy to follow cognitive principles and exercises; however, this book is based on God's wisdom in the Bible which is different from Gottman's approach which also gives a very refreshing view of cognitive therapy from the Christian perspective. This book is focused on practical action of how a Christian couple can take to strengthen their marriage, but I think this book is still useful for non-Christians. Many practical examples and actions mentioned are needed in today's marriages.
There are 3 major sections in this book. Part one starts with the most important message: oneness in marriage and oneness in Christ. This first chapter really gives Christian couples the true meaning of marriage in Christ and the rest of the part one gives basic techniques to teach couples how to handle conflicts and difficult issues. Part two goes beyond part one's basic techniques and talks about deeper issues and events happened in marriage or earlier in lives. Part two gives couples a great concept of how commitment in marriage works which I think many of the secular books do not stress the importance on this issue. However, if you are looking for very thorough analysis on internal hurt and attachment issues, part two only offers very limited information on the deeper issues. It is still a cognitive directed book. Finally, part three focuses on positive aspects like friendship, fun, sexuality and spirituality of how to make marriage work. I thought the authors did a good job by ending this book with a very positive note to allow the full mystery of oneness to be expressed between the couple.
This book is a very practical guide and it offers many strategies with the support from Bible verses. At the end of each chapter, there are useful exercises to help the readers to capture the concepts of the chapter. I like this book because it is very easy to read with tons of useful information and it is designed for Christian readers to strengthen their marriages. From the book, it is easy to see where in the Bible you can find verses to support authors' ideas. Even though this book is designed for Christian readers, I think many of the concepts and exercises are still useful for non-Christians. But if you are trying to find a book which talks about deeper attachment issues, then this book is not for you. It offers many cognitive tips and exercises and I think this book should be a companion book to other marriage counseling books for a Christian therapist.
I would recommend this book for Christian therapist and Christian couples. I think even though it is a very practical and easy-read guide, non-Christians might not appreciate the references in Bible and the beliefs in the book; however, a therapist can definitely use this book to help his or her non-Christian clients by using the concept and exercises in the book.