Item description for Honey, I Don't Have a Headache Tonight: Help for Women Who Want to Feel More In the Mood by Sheila Wray Gregoire...
Overview From the popular author of To Love, Honor, and Vacuum comes this look at attitude adjustments, relationship enhancements, and changes to a woman's pressure-filled life that can help revive her God-given sexual vitality. This is not a medical book, though it is medically accurate. Instead, it gives practical - and often humorous - advice for the vast majority of women who, at the end of a long day, would rather eat chocolate and soak in a bubble bath - alone - than make love.
Publishers Description From the popular author of "To Love, Honor, and Vacuum "comes this look at attitude adjustments, relationship enhancements, and changes to a woman's pressure-filled life that can help revive her God-given sexual vitality. This is not a medical book, though it is medically accurate. Instead, it gives practical--and often humorous--advice for the vast majority of women who, at the end of a long day, would rather eat chocolate and soak in a bubble bath--alone--than make love.
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SHEILA WRAY GREGOIRE is the author of numerous books, including The Good Girl s Guide to Great Sex and To Love, Honor and Vacuum. Her refreshing approach to difficult relationship topics has made her a popular speaker across North America and earned her an online following in the hundreds of thousands. She and her husband, Keith, both avid birdwatchers, are now empty nesters. They're hitting the road in an RV, pulling over for speaking engagements, free wifi, and rare hawks."
Reviews - What do customers think about Honey, I Don't Have a Headache Tonight: Help for Women Who Want to Feel More In the Mood?
Some great advice and good humor w/ too much right-wingisms Apr 30, 2005
This is a letter I wrote to the author in response to the book, which pretty much covers my response:
Hi, Sheila. I've been reading your book, "Honey, I Don't Have a Headache Tonight," and I have enjoyed both your advice and your humor. I think you have written a needed and useful book.
However, I do have serious concerns with both the content and intention of your chapter on masculinity. My concerns come as both a Christian and as a feminist. As I was reading, I found myself wondering whether the intention of that chapter was really to help the reader have an improved sex life, or if it was to grind axes with feminists and liberals and others who don't align with the right-wing ideology that pervades much contemporary conservative Protestant thinking.
There were two passages that I found particularly troubling, especially from a Christian perspective. The first was the ridiculing of Bill Clinton for expressing empathy while lauding Donald Rumsfeld for lashing out with violence. I found myself dumbfounded and deeply upset by that. Which of those responses seems more like Jesus? Which way would we expect Jesus to respond, and which way did he ask that we respond? Without going into an unncessary and technical discussion of why retalitory violence is completely counter to Christian ethics, suffice to say that I cannot image that Jesus would agree with your assessment of those men, in any way.
And I had a similar response to your approval of a BBC article that bemoaned curricula that included questions beyond factual recall, with the author arguing that "[i]nstead of fact-retention and recall, in which girls and boys are roughly equal, the question now requires empathy, something that females excel in, and at which males are useless." God help us all if that is really the case! I'm just grateful that Jesus was not useless at empathy, and in fact excelled in it, and I am raising my son to excel in empathy, as well. It is certainly not unnatural to him. He will be one year old in two weeks, and he gets upset when another baby begins to cry, or when I am upset. Empathy appears to be natural for him, not something he is useless at, and I can only hope that the empathy he learns in our family and our church can sustain in him when our culture tries to kill it in him, telling him, as your book does, that it is not right for a man to have.
The fruits of the spirit are love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, goodness, faith, kindness, and self-control. While empathy is not explicitly mentioned, it is far easier to imagine it as part of the list than "adroitness at factual recall" or "tendency to lash out violently upon provocation." Those are the traits that Jesus' presence within us provides, whether we are male or female, and yet they look nothing like the masculinity that our culture lauds, or that you laud in the chapter I am discussing. They are the traits that, as wives, sisters, mothers, daughters, and friends, we should seek to encourage and admire in the men around us. In many ways, taking on those traits in a world that demands the exact opposite from men for them to be "real men" is a greater challenge than avoiding the temptations of sex and lust. And yet, the battle against lust is given so much more attention and validation than the battle to enact the fruits in a culture that asks men to deny those very traits. That is why I cannot help but think that many of your complaints in that chapter have less to do with either a desire to improve marriage relationships or a true contemplation of Christian manhood but rather a desire to grind axes with feminists and liberals and to encourage your readers to adopt right-wing views about gender, regardless of how well they actually conform to the example and teachings of Jesus.
I thank God that Jesus not only revealed God's amazing love to us, but also freed us from the shackles of the identities set for us by the "principalities and powers," among them the institutions that tell men that they must be violent, quick to anger, aggressive, militant, and without empathy. It is unfortunate that, today, the church--or at least some branches of it--is among the principalities and powers still promulgating those identities.
I pray that you take what I have written in the spirit it is intended, from someone who appreciates very much the work you have done and the wonderful advice you've given, but is deeply troubled by one particular section, in which I was left feeling like the spirit of grace and truth so evident in the rest of the book was lacking.
Insightful, funny and true-to-life! Sep 13, 2004
Women, if you want to REALLY understand your man's needs and expectations, this book is for you. This well-written tome is intended for women, but as a man, let me tell you, Shiela understands the opposite sex! My wife and I read it together and learned a lot. Shiela ends each chapter with advice for men...I appreciate that.
Shiela's writing is crisp; her observations fascinating; her conclusions dead-on. She offers hope to women with imperfect bodies and unpredictable sex drives. The book is tastefully modest but is still direct and to-the-point.
I predict that this book will help thousands of couples experience all the joy God intended for them in the bedroom. I highly recommend this book!
Awesome help for putting an end to those "headaches." Aug 31, 2004
Shelia Wray Gregoire has an incredible way of telling it like it is in this book. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book, as did my husband, and will recommend it to ALL of my married friends. She hit every single nail on the head with all of my issues concerning sex and intimacy in a Christian marriage, helping me to feel that I am not alone or abnormal. Sex for women is a head thing and Sheila teaches you how to retrain your thoughts and emotions to better allow you to not only enjoy that intimacy with your husband, but to also WANT it!!! (something I had just about given up on) Another thing that was great was the way she shows you the men's perspective on sex. It helps a lot just knowing where he is coming from. Plus she gives a special section at the end of each chapter just for the men to read that hits the main points of what you just read (in case he doesn't want to read the whole book). This is a book I don't recommend lending to friends, only because you will want to hold on to it forever and make notes in it and highlite areas and reread it many, many times! This is the first book of hers I have read, but I plan to find To Love, Honor, and Vacuum because of how much I enjoyed reading this one.