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Relational Masks: Removing the Barriers That Keep Us Apart [Paperback]

By Russell Willingham (Author)
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Item description for Relational Masks: Removing the Barriers That Keep Us Apart by Russell Willingham...

Overview
We all know people who seem to get stuck in unhealthy patterns of relating to others. Sometimes we're puzzled by a loved one's evasiveness or surprised by a friend's defensive aggression. Occasionally we look in the mirror and see such troubling behaviors in ourselves. All of these are masks that we hide behind, and they prevent us from having authentic relationships with others.

Counselor Russell Willingham identifies the relational masks that obstruct us from relating freely to other people and to God. Drawing on a wealth of practical experience and biblical insight, he diagnoses the destructive ways that we respond to others and shows how underlying false beliefs govern our thinking and actions. He also shows how each mask can be subverted from within and turned inside out to help us move toward healthy relationships. Each chapter includes tools and questions for discussion and application.

Discover how to relate to others with the honesty and authenticity God intended--and find the relational freedom and satisfaction you?ve been yearning for.

Publishers Description
The Avoider. The Deflector. The Self-Blamer. The Aggressor. Recognize someone you know? Or yourself? We all know people who seem to get stuck in unhealthy patterns of relating to others. Sometimes we're puzzled by a loved one's evasiveness or surprised by a friend's defensive aggression. Occasionally we look in the mirror and see such troubling behaviors in ourselves. All of these are masks that we hide behind, and they prevent us from having authentic relationships with others. Counselor Russell Willingham identifies the relational masks that obstruct us from relating freely to other people and to God. Drawing on a wealth of practical experience and biblical insight, he diagnoses the destructive ways that we respond to others and shows how underlying false beliefs govern our thinking and actions. He also shows how each mask can be subverted from within and turned inside out to help us move toward healthy relationships. Each chapter includes tools and questions for discussion and application. Discover how to relate to others with the honesty and authenticity God intended--and find the relational freedom and satisfaction you've been yearning for."

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Item Specifications...


Studio: InterVarsity Press
Pages   190
Est. Packaging Dimensions:   Length: 8.34" Width: 5.54" Height: 0.56"
Weight:   0.5 lbs.
Binding  Softcover
Release Date   Oct 3, 2004
Publisher   IVP-InterVarsity Press
ISBN  0830832513  
ISBN13  9780830832514  


Availability  0 units.


More About Russell Willingham


Register your artisan biography and upload your photo! Willingham is the executive director of New Creation Ministries in Fresno, California, specializing in ministry to the sexually and realtionally broken.

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Product Categories

1Books > Subjects > Health, Mind & Body > Psychology & Counseling > General
2Books > Subjects > Health, Mind & Body > Relationships > Interpersonal Relations
3Books > Subjects > Health, Mind & Body > Self-Help > Personal Transformation
4Books > Subjects > Parenting & Families > General
5Books > Subjects > Religion & Spirituality > Christianity > Christian Living > General
6Books > Subjects > Religion & Spirituality > Christianity > Christian Living


Christian Product Categories
Books > Christian Living > Practical Life > Encouragement & Lay Counseling



Reviews - What do customers think about Relational Masks: Removing the Barriers That Keep Us Apart?

Facing Hard Truths  Jul 26, 2009
_Relational Masks_ is an emotionally challenging but excellent book. Before I read the book, I would have given myself high marks for honesty and integrity. I had it in the back of my mind that going through this book would just help me "polish up" my honest character, but the book showed me that much deeper changes were necessary.

Willingham is so insightful and direct, that by the time I finished the book, I was in a state of shock. Willingham forced me to see three or four different ways in which I was dishonest: my own "masks" are the Self-Blamer, the Aggressor (an especially ugly mask), and the "Pedigreed" Spiritualizer. He also helped me see how I had damaged key relationships in my life through my dishonesty, including my marriage. It was devastating to my self-image and even (temporarily) de-stabilizing: I was really upset after I finished the book. After I calmed down, I just started trying to be honest in the problem-areas that the book had identified. The patterns of dishonesty were so ingrained that I had to start slowly and just patiently try to improve. The process is ongoing.

It is not easy to face a bunch of hard truths about oneself virtually all at once, as Willingham leads the reader to do, but it is certainly good and necessary. Reading this book will not automatically make anyone completely honest, of course, but I am convinced that I have been improved by this book. One paradoxical effect of the book on me is that, even though Willingham is an evangelical Christian who criticizes the use of formal prayers, I ended up taking RCIA classes at the local Roman Catholic Church and became a Catholic on Easter 2009. One should only become a Catholic if he or she really believes that Catholic Christianity is true, but one practical benefit of being Catholic is access to the Sacrament of Confession, which is a great way of keeping oneself honest, as well as a great way to get a clear conscience and peace of mind. I don't expect a very high percentage of the readers of _RM_ to go in the same spiritual direction as I have, but I can recommend it highly. (I doubt that Willingham would approve of this effect of his book on me!)

I thank Russell Willingham, and I highly recommend this book, but be ready to be challenged as you read. It's not pleasant, but it is well worth it.

One more thing: there is often cynicism about the possibility of people and/or marriages ever really changing or getting better. _Relational Masks_ does hold out hope for personal change and for improvement in our relationships, and the book can be a big help in the process. So have hope, at least if the effort to change is sincere, sustained, and guided by the grace of God.
 

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