Item description for The Boys and Girls Book about Divorce: For Children and Their Divorced Parents--The Essential Book by Richard Gardner...
Overview Offers a realistic approach to divorce, presenting children with direct solutions to their problems, fears and frustrations
Publishers Description "Should Your Parents Be Married Even If They're Unhappy With Each Other?"
If your parents fuss at you does it mean they don't love you? How can you tell if your father loves you, if he lives in another city? Are you "bad" when you get angry with your mother or father? Why is it a mistake to talk to one parent about another? Do you blame yourself for your parents' divorce?
This warm and honest book provides reassuring answers to these and many more crucial questions children ask about divorce.
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Est. Packaging Dimensions: Length: 7" Width: 4.34" Height: 0.55" Weight: 0.2 lbs.
Release Date Apr 1, 1985
ISBN 0553276190 ISBN13 9780553276190
Reviews - What do customers think about The Boys and Girls Book About Divorce?
Not The Best Apr 5, 2008
I looked at this book on the recommendation of my counselor. I don't think I'll use it with my kids. It's older, so it talks about the non-custodial parent not being involved at all, and possibly not caring. It also mentions that parents can hate their children. Those aren't terms I choose to use in my parenting, and regardless of my husbands faults, he will certainly remained involved in the kids lives.
the boys and girls book about divorce Sep 23, 2007
This book is awful. It is hateful toward parents and I would never recommend that a child read it! It is ugly and negative and has no value for helping a child heal from divorce!
Cannot believe that this book is still available... Jun 1, 2006
Yes, this book "tells it like it is"- but only for the WORST case scenarios. Since circumstances and situations are different in every divorce, harsh reality is not always applicable- and I think this can feed into fears and worries that don't even exist in many cases. When I was [...] and my parents divorced (25 years ago), I was given this book by a well-meaning counselor. For a sensitive and imaginative child, already upset and grieving a former family life- this book not only can reaffirm many baseless fears, but give a whole new batch of them to worry about- such as boarding schools and foster homes. Another especially disturbing chapter discusses ways to find out if your parent doesn't love you- kids can see things in different ways and this chapter is VERY dangerous in my opinion! I feel that the only way that this book would be alright is for a parent to read it first, and then read with a child and explained in the context of their situation. There have to be better, more timely books out there.
Truth hurts but lies and denials devastate May 20, 2005
The negative reviewers are in denial and, although they believe they are doing the right thing by not being honest with their kids or themselves, they are hurting their kids and probably screwing them up for life so they too can repeat the mistakes of their parents and continue the cycle.
The chapter about what love is and how to recognize it is invaluable. It does NO good to teach a child that neglect, disinterest and selfishness is love because it is not.
The sad fact is that some parents do not love their children or love them very much. Face it and deal with it - adults and children alike. If you teach your kid that "not-love" is love then you're not giving your kid the skills to find and recognize Real Love.
Apparently, many negatives reviewers had a fit when they read the chapter about how to recognize love and they didn't continue reading how to help your child cope when their parent has little or no love for them. Maybe, as I did, they had to face facts that their own estranged spouse and/or a parent of theirs also did not love nor love them enough.
This book also addresses the fears that children have and denying that they have those fears is easier on the parent, but certainly not helpful to a child who is, well, childish and needs reassurance.
If you love your children, really really love them - then buy this book. Read it first yourself then use the chapters that apply to your situation and know that even though truth hurts and facing fears is difficult - you're doing right by your children. Sugar-coating and running away from facts is harmful to you and to your kids. It's time to stop taking the short-term easy way out and get real.
Honesty is the best policy Mar 15, 2004
I noticed this book because of my own miserable childhood. No adult would like to tell me the truth about my parient's divorce even themselves.There were so many questions in my mind.I have wasted so many time to adjust it. The teachers never taught you how to deal with a divorced family and a sad father. There was no book about it. So, we are helpless. When I saw this book,I felt so amazingly. This was a book written for us and truely helped us.