Item description for Love Is Not a Game: (But You Should Know the Odds) by Harold Bessell PhD (Collaborating Psychologist)...
Why are good love (and good sex) so hard to find, and what can you do about it?
Follow author Randy Hurlburt into the heart and soul of love. Discover the true meaning of romantic chemistry, and how you can assess the future potential of any relationship.
- Find the love of your life.
- Create more meaningful intimacy.
- Be loved for who you really are.
- Feel secure and fulfilled.
While learning what it takes to find good love, have fun with the unique and memorable "Love Dice." They will help you see relationship types in an entirely new way. Based on tested psychological principles, use them to guide you in your search for a soulmate.
Take the "Romantic Attraction Questionnaire" and the "Emotional Maturity Questionnaire." Developed by collaborating psychologist Harold Bessell, Ph.D., these tests will enable you become a better lover and find your special relationship.
Controversial and compelling, "Love Is Not A Game (But You Should Know the Odds)" contains torrid true stories of real relationships. Don't miss the chapters on "Kissing Frogs," "Sex is Like Water," or the appendix on "Sexual Fantasies"!
Every purchaser of this book can obtain a free set of Love Dice via a mail-in coupon.
Here's what others have to say about "Love Is Not A Game (But You Should Know the Odds)":
"Hurlburt knows what it takes to make a relationship work. No one should get married before reading this book!" (Dean Mignola, author of "The Single Guy's Survival Guide.")
"Passionate, provocative.....taboo breaking fun." (Dr. Laurie Betito, Psychologist, Sex Therapist, and host of "Passion" show, CJAD Radio, Montreal, Canada.)
"'Love Is Not a Game' has a lot of punch to it." (Michael Gurian, Author of "What Could He Be Thinking? How a Man's Mind Really Works.")
Reviews - What do customers think about Love Is Not a Game: (But You Should Know the Odds)?
Me Tarzan, You Jane May 25, 2007
Pros Book filled with tons of text and little space fillers - Yes. Book offers a different spin (love dice) - Yes. Book written from a writer interested in the matters of the heart - Yes.
Cons Book written by a certified head doc - No. [Borrowing glamour-like love tests from a real head doc doesn't count]
Book worth purchasing...? Well, if you've got time to munch + money to spend + curious mind = Yes, but it.
If money and time is limited: Dodge this bullet and look elsewhere on this site/bookseller of your choosing.
Two stars for a twist on the perception of chemistry + maturity in a relationship (love dice).
The downfall of this book arrived when Tarzan-the-writer swung too far into the realm of umm...a "swinger mentality"
Warning/Summary: It's a sex-freeminded-type writer who is "open", if you know what I mean, about lovin'. Affairs are condoned. With his love-dice advice/odds of finding a soulmate, it's a more realistic odd that the reader will first find STDS before finding their soulmate.
Humane, wise, and applicable advice. A life-changing book! May 27, 2005
I found this book on this site while looking for help with my love relationship. For having bought it, my thoughts regarding relationships are dramatically changed!
The first word that comes to mind regarding the ideas, theories, and advice of "Love is Not a Game" is HUMANE. So many relationship books give platitudinal advice like "no contact," "be a bitch!", "if he doesn't call you, he's just not into you...move on" etc. Anyone who's ever truly been in love knows these one-liner solutions don't work. They are rash or overly simplistic, or perhaps cut you off from your lover or former lover. These simplistic solutions do not take into consideration the complex dynamics between people, in particular two dimensions which Randy Hurlburt clearly defines in his book: romantic chemistry and emotional maturity. The paradox is that while interactions between people are complex, the forces of romantic chemistry and emotional maturity are measurable and help simplify what is otherwise a hopelessly murky and mysterious emotional landscape.
Hurlburt explains how these two dimensions are the key to a successful (or not so successful) relationship. Using case studies, he shows how different levels of romantic chemistry and emotional maturity play out in a relationship. Reading these case studies and Hurlburt's examination of these forces in our lives will make sense. There is a deep wisdom to these ideas that simply feels right, and with the logical way in which the theories are presented, it becomes possible to better understand the mysterious force that we call "love."
Being able to assess the level of romantic chemistry and emotional maturity in yourself and your partner, and how these numbers (literally, as he uses the analogy of dice to show how the levels between partners compare) tell a story is an elegant and powerful tool. Instead of pining over lost love, you might find out your partner never had that much romantic chemistry for you in the first place. Or you could realize that the ending of a promising relationship has more to do with one or both partners' emotional maturity (or lack thereof) than a "fading" of feelings or other excuse.
Love isn't a game, but you should know the odds. This phrase is repeated over and over again in Hurlburt's book, and it makes more and more sense as you read and understand more of his theories. In addition to ideas of romantic chemistry and emotional maturity, Hurlburt presents ideas of a "safety net" of different levels of relationship (it's ok to not be deeply in love with every person you date or even have sex with; you can have friends who are more mature or less mature than you if you can identify the ways in which these relationships could help both of you grow, etc.), the importance of understanding sexual fantasies, and the intersection of emotional maturity and spiritual advancement. Some of Hurlburt's ideas may be shocking to people who approach life from a more "traditional" point of view with rigid social and gender roles. If the glut of relationship books on the market don't offer any real solutions and instead present a candy-coated "feel better" approach, "Love is Not a Game" offers theories that you can truly put to work in understanding yourself, your partner, and your relationship. I can not recommend this book highly enough.
How to broaden one's own awareness and connections Jun 8, 2004
Love Is Not A Game (But You Should Know The Odds) is a relationship self-help book dedicated to aiding the reader in the search for a quality, loving, and long lasting romantic relationship. Using its "love dice" methodology to quanitfy the twin crucial traits of chemistry and emotional maturity in both members of the couple, Love Is Not A Game outlays basic strategies for keeping one's sex life intoxicating, resolving differences of opinion and disagreements, learning how to broaden one's own awareness and connections, and much more. Filled with anecdotes of a wide variety of couples, and also distinguished by a controversial aside on the possible benefits of legalized professional sex as a sexual outlet that does not involve oneself in a relationship with the wrong person, Love Is Not A Game is filled with very practical insights on the human condition that hold universal value regardless as well as a nuts-and-bolts methodology of assigning scores to personalities.
Love and spirituality May 1, 2004
We are a married couple, but we like to read and do things to continually improve our marriage. This book is probably mostly for single people, but we also found it interesting and helpful for us. We especially liked the chapter on sprituality where it discussed the "spiritually advanced person" and the three primary personality types that are not spiritually advanced. We also liked the chapter on sexual fantasies - it has helped open our eyes to new ways of exploring our feelings and desires.
We feel lucky to already have a good love relationship as is described in this book. But many of our single friends are looking for good relationships, and we will certainly recommend that they read this.
Love Is Not a Game: (But You Should Know the Odds) Apr 13, 2004
I think I am like most people. I live on Earth, not Mars or Venus. This book is the most inciteful guide to the realities of beginning and maintaining a loving relationship. The 'double sixes' analogy is clever and very accurate. A simple, helpful and fun read! Thanks!