Item description for Men's Secret Wars by Patrick A. Means...
Overview Now repackaged and updated, this ground-breaking book talks honestly about the real issues facing Christian men, including stress, unhealthy relationships, and temptation.
Publishers Description The need to talk honestly about the real issues facing Christian men has never been greater. Though they may feel reluctant to seek help and embarrassed to admit it, many men are fighting secret wars against stress, burnout, unhealthy relationships, temptation, and sexuality. What many don't know, however, is that these battles can be won. This newly repackaged edition of Men's Secret Wars provides tested strategies for defeating the secrets that threaten men's private lives. Through the candid stories from the author and other men who have fought similar battles, readers will learn to recognize the "at risk" factors that precede the development of a secret life and will take comfort in the fact that they are not alone in their struggles. Includes new writing from the author, personal growth questions, and a leader's guide for small groups.
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Est. Packaging Dimensions: Length: 8.42" Width: 5.63" Height: 0.73" Weight: 0.89 lbs.
Release Date Aug 1, 2006
Publisher Baker Publishing Group
ISBN 0800731379 ISBN13 9780800731373
Availability 0 units.
More About Patrick A. Means
Patrick A. Means is executive director of Courageous Living, a Seattle-based radio, seminar, and leadership training ministry. He is the former U.S. director of Campus Crusade for Christ, cofounder of the National Association for Christian Recovery, and a frequent speaker around the country.
Reviews - What do customers think about Men's Secret Wars?
Special Interests? Sep 9, 2006
I would have to ask why someone is so adamant that phychotherapy is the key; when I know many people who spent many $$ could attest that it is useless.
Somehow I have a hard time thinking that going to 'even an atheist' phychotherapist could be a good idea; let's go get the spiritual man healed by someone who denies the Master Healer - good idea??
Or let's spend 100's of hours and thousands of $$ dissecting the old nature when were simply supposed to crucify it through faith.
Maybe the most benefit generally belongs to the phychotherapists coffer.
Courageous in the Christian cultural contex, but falls short May 10, 2001
I commend Patrick Means for what he is attempting to do. And, in fact, he does make a good presentation of the various challenges men face in society today, and, for the most part, have faced throughout history. It's a good summary and that alone, for many, will be worth the time and effort to read it, i.e., it's a good first step towards awareness if that's where you are.
Where Means really hits his stride is in the chapter "Living the Secret Life," in which he outlines the pain, misery and isolation of sin, and the elaborate ways we cover for ourselves, physically, socially and psychologically, and how cover-up leads to even more damage. Unfortunately, it is a comparatively short chapter and is not backed up with much detail. I wish this chapter went on for much longer (perhaps even an entire book), because I've been there, and I get great comfort from hearing others' experiences and learning how they made it out of the pit. (For those interested see: St. Augustine's Confessions and Merton's The Seven Story Mountain)
The real reason for the low rating, however, is that right when I think Means is going to step up to the plate and be brave (in the context of Christian culture) in his recommendations for recovery, he completely wimps out. What do I mean by this? He backs off from saying MANY MEN, SPECIFICALLY INCLUDING CHRISTIAN MEN, WOULD BENEFIT GREATLY FROM PSYCHOTHERAPY, and trudges right back to emphasizing the modification of external behaviors and praying better and harder! (Ok, I'm oversimplifying, but that's essentially what he says.) He avoids directly addressing therapy, which may seem a little thing, but it is not. And my guess is, the author knows it!
What was so disappointing was that throughout the book the author makes statements such as, "Compartmentalization is one of the most sophisticated mechanisms our mind uses to accomplish self-deception," "because it doesn't deal with the whole person, one-dimensional recovery only drives the pain underground," and, the most hopeful, "Christians have done a fair job of applying God's truth to our external behavior...but we have done a much poorer job in applying the truth to the vast interior of our hearts and minds: our thought life and self-talk, our motivations, our damaged emotions."
Then, in one casual and almost serendipitous reference, he says, "God has used the headlamp of many Christian therapists and authors to help me see the pattern of pain..." And that's it, that's basically all he says about therapy. He never even recommends seeing one if you need to. Why does Means pull back? The only answer I can come up with is that outward pressure of some sort has compelled him not to put that in there, when, in fact, therapy--even by an atheist--can unlock things inside of you that open your heart to God and to Jesus. It happened to me! And it just irks me to no end to see a book like this where all logic says that therapy should be part of the solution, but the author does not have the courage to say it. I would love to hear the author's explanation for why he did that....
A Christian Men's book with all the guts! Feb 23, 2000
Patrick Means sees the male heart with truth, grace, and passion. Means speaks from experience about work, women, sex, and an authentic "Romans Chapter 7" relationship with God. This book is not a "mountain top" experience. However, if you have experience with "Men's work," you will be pleasantly surprised. He draws in the man that goes to church and has chosen to be disconnected from feelings, relationships, and other men. He also addresses those of us who have gone outside the church for truth and grace(Warrior Weekends, Mens groups, and other initiatory experiences).If you want to take a Christ centered journey with your shadow, read Means.
TOUCHES A NERVE! Jul 24, 1999
This book is great it surely touches a nerve. if your a Christian Man these are struggles that we all go through Patrick goes where some brothers don't dare go. I was recommended this book by A Sales Clerk at my local Christian Bookstore, I Now recommend this book to all Men reading this summary ONLINE.
Read it! Then, read it again and watch your life improve. Jan 5, 1999
Patrick Means treds where the average Christian man has been trained not to go. Through frank testimony of personal moral failure, repentance, and redemption he allows the rest of us to see where the spiritual land mines are BEFORE we must cross the field.
Christian men have become accustomed to hearing impotent "just pray about it" advice for their struggles. We've learned to act as though everything is OK when inside we've been dying.
Means exposes the facade of modern Christian man for what it is -- a seemingly solid covering for a cancer of unresolved pain beneath. By honestly sharing his trials and temptations he catalogs his own journey to wholeness, while at the same time offering practical, solid advice for how we can do the same.
Come into your own as the man God created you to be -- don't settle for second best when an incredible blessing awaits. Men who are vulnerable, sharing their hurts with other men, are the true heroes of this world and the next.