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Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda: Live in the Present, Find Your Future [Hardcover]

By III Parrott Les (Author)
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Item Number 55660  
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Item description for Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda: Live in the Present, Find Your Future by III Parrott Les...

After years of working with people caught in the guilt trap, Parrott has pinpointed six steps for relieving guilt's pain and reducing its attacks--steps that keep readers from getting caught in this trap again.

Publishers Description
'If only...''I should have...''What if...'Don't punish yourself with regret. It only poisons your daily life and robs you of the peace you long for. Instead, transform past pain into a powerful force that propels you toward a better tomorrow.Dr. Les Parrott, a leading relationships expert, gives you encouragement and direction to redeem your past and live fully in the present. He shows you how to cope with regret and guilt, replace shame with self-respect, learn how to forgive yourself, and keep new regrets from piling up. Dr. Parrott also gives you solid guidelines for making better decisions in the future.With this book, looking at your past will bring healing and growth---not regret, guilt, or shame. You can pack away your if-onlys, give perfectionism the boot, and rejoice in who and where you are today.

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Item Specifications...

Studio: Zondervan
Pages   208
Est. Packaging Dimensions:   Length: 8.06" Width: 5.64" Height: 0.81"
Weight:   0.74 lbs.
Binding  Hardcover
Release Date   Jan 1, 2004
Publisher   Zondervan Publishing
ISBN  0310224608  
ISBN13  9780310224600  
UPC  025986224608  

Availability  0 units.

More About III Parrott Les

Les Parrott Les and Leslie. A husband-and-wife team who not only share the same name, but the same passion for helping others build healthy relationships. In 1991, the Parrotts founded the Center for Relationship Development on the campus of Seattle Pacific University – a groundbreaking program dedicated to teaching the basics of good relationships.

Married in 1984, the Parrotts bring real-life examples to their speaking platform. Their professional training – Leslie as a marriage and family therapist, and Les as a clinical psychologist – ensures a presentation that is grounded, insightful and cutting-edge. 

Each year Les and Leslie speak in over 40 cities. Their audiences include a wide array of venues, from churches to Fortune 500 company board rooms. The Governor of Oklahoma appointed the Parrotts as the first ever statewide Marriage Ambassadors. Authorities have called upon Les and Leslie to provide on-site support in the aftermath of worldwide disasters such as Ground Zero and Chernobyl. The Commander of the 2nd Battalion, 5th Marines, invited them to assist his soldiers with re-entry into family life upon returning from Iraq. 

Part of Les and Leslie’s vision for building stronger, life-long marriages is to equip a band of more than a million marriage mentors who walk alongside less experienced couples. Research reveals that marriage mentoring is one of the best things we can do to cut the divorce rate and improve marriages – whether couples are engaged, newly married or married of decades.

The Parrotts have been featured in USA Today and the New York Times. Their television appearances include CNN, The View, The O’Reilly Factor, The Today Show and Oprah.

As #1 New York Times best-selling authors, their books have sold over two million copies in more than two dozen languages, and include best-selling and Gold-medallion winner Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts. Other popular titles include Real Relationships, L.O.V.E., The Parent You Want To Be, Trading Places, The Complete Guide To Marriage Mentoring and Love Talk.

Les Parrott currently resides in Seattle, in the state of Washington. Les Parrott has an academic affiliation as follows - Seattle Pacific University.

Les Parrott has published or released items in the following series...
  1. Contemporary Christian Counseling

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Product Categories

1Books > Subjects > Health, Mind & Body > Mental Health > Emotions
2Books > Subjects > Health, Mind & Body > Psychology & Counseling > General
3Books > Subjects > Health, Mind & Body > Self-Help > Personal Transformation
4Books > Subjects > Religion & Spirituality > Christianity > Christian Living > General

Christian Product Categories
Books > Christian Living > Practical Life > Personal Growth

Reviews - What do customers think about Shoulda Coulda Woulda?

Old information presented in a new way  May 1, 2005
We all have regrets. After all, we're human. Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda shows us how we can rid ourselves of regret, even the regret that has become guilt or shame. In simple language Shoulda Coulda Woulda helps us distinguish real guilt with false guilt and with feeling those guilty feelings and actual guilt.

Read this book with an open mind and learn how to heal damaged emotions and relationships. Shoulda Coulda Woulda asks us to take a hard look at unhealthy perfectionism. It also asks us to forgive ourselves and others and to bring closure to past hurts. Making good decisions, will, Dr. Perrott says, help prevent future regrets from piling up and becoming an unmanageable part of our lives.

The book also includes self-assement tools and questions. Also note: Dr. Parrott believes that we all need God's grace to free us.

This book is old information presented in a new way. The fact that there is nothing new does not mean it's less valuable however.

Forgiveness first  Feb 15, 2005
It seems that an essential ingredient in overcoming regret is to be able to forgive yourself. This and other universal truths are explored and explained in this wonderful book.

There is nothing more important than your future, so don't try to get there by looking behind you. James Green, author of "If There's One Thing I've Learned."
A critical topic, which is presented well.  Jul 17, 2004
The premise of this book is captured by the title itself: "Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda". The realization that our lives are impacted by regrets, "if only's" and guilt is hardly a new concept, but it is presented very logically and clearly here.

Les starts with some insights into how our regrets for things done, or more impactfully those things not done, can have a dramatic influence on how we view our present. Perhaps there are no more powerful influences that affect us than those we carry around with us everyday. To some degree, all of us are affected by how we later interpret our actions and inactions in relationships and work. Sometimes these decisions haunt us decades later, and keep us from acting today.

The book is broken into chapter topics, and includes quizzes, assessments, study questions and examples. If motivated, I think that one could get some pretty profound insights into current behavioral patterns by just completing the self assessments and becoming more aware of how much we really are defined at times by things we ought to let go of and move on. The section on guilt is outstanding, and is presented in a manner which is easily understood. One key is differentiating between the guilt that is valid and requires action, and false guilt which serves to keep us from doing what is needed to build relationships and experience life more fully.

The book is written well, in a conversational tone. For me, it really did feel conversational as I took classes from Les at SPU and have spoken with him on enough occasions to "hear" him while reading. The concepts are not new, and ironically I was working through them when I met Les nearly 14 years ago. I am reminded of one of the promises of working the 12 steps in AA which states: "we will neither regret the past, nor wish to shut the door on it. We will realize that no matter how far down the scale we have gone, our experiences can benefit others." This speaks to the serenity and peace that is the outcome of many of the same actions Les recommends here. Forgiving others, making amends, learning to live "one day at a time" in the present.

This book is excellent, and I will recommend it to others. Like Les, I would only hope each person really uses it to free themselves from unnecessary burdens and regrets. Life is a wonderful journey, and is often hard enough without the extra baggage we haul around related to guilt and regret. This book will help one take the first steps towards becoming free from the binding regret and guilt of our past actions, and start living better today.


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