Reviews - What do customers think about Hope Deferred: Heart-Healing Reflections On Reproductive Loss?
"the living must remake themselves after a death" Jun 17, 2007
First of all, I want to thank the friend who lent me this book. It took me some time to get around to it-- I had found that I was at the end of my ability to think about dead babies. But I appreciated it very much, and find that it was one of the best of the loss books that I have read. It specifically looks at theological and ritual issues around the loss of the child-- asks the question about what kind of a relationship with God it is possible to have when he allows such terrible losses. It is a necessary question, and one that is too often elided by the more practically oriented dead baby books. While they are willing to allow that being angry at God is a natural state, there seems to be no real acknowledgement that these events can shake the very nature of your relationship with God.
The book is divided into six major sections: Longing, Why?, Sorrow, Rupture, Comfort, Faith. The contributors are all theologians from a variety of backgrounds. They all share some experience of infertility, miscarriage, or pregnancy loss. I personally found "Why?" and "Sorrow" to be the strongest sections, probably the ones that resonated most strongly with my own thoughts and experiences. I also appreciated the inclusion of the text of Luther's "Comfort For Women Who Have Had a Miscarriage".
I found myself doing a great deal of thinking off the back of this reading experience. It raised many interesting and helpful trains of thought. We are in the process of surviving the stillbirth of our only child in 2006. It may be a book that is a little bit Christian for some potential readers.
I found it valuable to read, and would recommend it to someone facing down their own experience of involuntarily childlessness.