Item description for The Lost Art of Listening: How Learning to Listen Can Improve Relationships by Michael P. Nichols PhD...
We never outgrow our need to connect with others--to feel as though we are heard and understood. That is why a sympathetic ear is such a powerful force in human relationships -- and why the failure to be heard is so painful. Nothing hurts more that the sense that people close to us aren't really listening to what we have to say. Someone talks and someone else listens\m-\it sounds so simple that we take it for granted. But why do we often feel cut off when speaking to the people closest to us, family members, friends, or colleagues? What is it that keeps so many of us from really listening?
Michael P. Nichols answers these questions and more in this ground-breaking exploration of why people don't hear one another. His book, an engaging guide to the secrets of listening and being listened to, is filled with vivid examples that clearly demonstrate easy-to-learn techniques for becoming a better listener. He also illustrates how empathic listening enables us to break through misunderstandings and conflict and to transform our personal and professional relationships.
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Studio: The Guilford Press
Est. Packaging Dimensions: Length: 9.1" Width: 6.1" Height: 0.9" Weight: 1.15 lbs.
Release Date Feb 28, 1995
Publisher The Guilford Press
ISBN 0898622670 ISBN13 9780898622676
Reviews - What do customers think about The Lost Art of Listening: How Learning to Listen Can Improve Relationships?
Highly Recommended! May 8, 2008
After reading the title of Michael Nichols's book The Lost Art of Listening: How Learning to Listen Can Improve Relationships, I immediately flipped to page one, and my interest was captured by its introduction. I knew I had to buy it, and I'm very glad I did. Nichols brilliantly covers a variety of interesting points concerning listening issues in a variety of relationships. He stresses the important points of effective listening, which are being attentive, appreciative, and affirmative. In order to hear the other individual out, people must suspend their own needs (memory, desire, and judgment) and attentively listen. As I read through this book, I pinpointed certain chapters that I could relate to, and others I could definitely use as reference in the future. Nichols gives examples through the first-hand scenarios he has observed; some of these he's worked with for twenty years as a psychoanalyst and family therapist. His accounts not only helped me discover my listening problems within my everyday situations, but also helped me acknowledge how detrimental they were to the situations.
Essentially, this is the book for all readers. Everyone can benefit from the helpful advice provided in this book and apply it to their everyday lives. Through good listening, we can learn from others, help others, and receive the same effective listening if applied in the right way. This book, no doubt, will change the way you perceive listening. I definitely recommend this book. It is worth every penny!
The Lost Art of Listening Mar 31, 2007
This is one of the best books I have ever read on the dynamics of relationships. I felt so strongly about this book that I bought each of my four children a copy for Valentinie's day. It helped me reflect on past dynamics that worked and that didn't and also helps me to reflect about current relationships. Excellant.
learn to listen Feb 3, 2007
I found this book to be excellent. I have read it thru several times and pick up something new each time. There are few books I have found to be helpful on this subject--one I should mention is Bolton's PEOPLE SKILLS--and this is at the top. In a sense, listening is a moral decision; that is, deciding to listen with an open mind and no agenda is a deeply respectful and loving act. It is also difficult; it takes an effort. Making that effort is a decision to treat the speaker as a valued person; not a sales "target", not some stereotype (liberal, conservative, religious nut, redneck, academic, etc.). Nichols is honest about the difficulty of listening well, relating anecdotes in which his lack of listening was painfully evident. The only other helpful guide I've found was a set of cassette tapes called "How to Listen Powerfully", which had very practical exercises--such as listening to two radio stations and practising switching attention between the two. After practising that I found that I could focus on one person at a noisy family get-together and not be distracted by other conversations. This is a very helpful book for anyone sincerely interested in improving their listening skill.
Hard Work but worth the effort Apr 16, 2006
Listening is a learned ability just like reading.
Some books are easy to read but lack any real contents. People are the same. Some people are easy to listen to but lack any real content. Learning to listen to difficult people is worth the effort.
I am reading this book for the third time. I didn't get much from it the first time.
A good start to Listening Feb 27, 2006
This book offers some comprehensive insights for people with relationalship problems due to the lack of listening. It appears that the book is geared towards listening to people you know within your family or friends. Lastly, the last copyright of this book is in 1995 which made it hard to keep an interest in the examples presented.