Item description for How to Survive the Loss of a Parent: A Guide For Adults by Lois F. Akner...
Overview In the tradition of the perennial bestseller How to Survive the Loss of Love, this guide offers frank and compassionate help to those who may need support in dealing with a parent's death. Based on the real-life experiences of participants in her extremely popular workshops, Akner has distilled rich, healing guidance as tangible help for adult readers.
Many people who usually function well are thrown for a loop when a parent dies. They're surprised at the complex feelings of love, loss, anger, and guilt, and at the unresolved issues that emerge. Therapist Lois Akner explains why the loss of a parent is different from other losses and, using examples from her experience, shows how it is possible to work through the grief.
Anyone who is going through or trying to prepare for this natural, normal, inevitable loss will find How to Survive the Loss of a Parent a powerful, healing message.
Citations And Professional Reviews How to Survive the Loss of a Parent: A Guide For Adults by Lois F. Akner has been reviewed by professional book reviewers and journalists at the following establishments -
Wilson Public Library Catalog - 01/01/1998 page 54
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Studio: Harper Paperbacks
Est. Packaging Dimensions: Length: 8.31" Width: 5.57" Height: 0.64" Weight: 0.65 lbs.
Release Date Dec 1, 1994
Publisher Harper Paperbacks
ISBN 0688137911 ISBN13 9780688137915 UPC 099455012959
Availability 0 units.
More About Lois F. Akner
Lois F. Anker, C.S.W., is a psychothearpist specializing in family counseling. She lives and works in New York City.
Reviews - What do customers think about How to Survive the Loss of a Parent: A Guide For Adults?
A good place to start Jan 10, 2007
This book is a good place to start. It makes one look at things in a different light. It gives many examples. The book has given direction to my greif. I wish it had more to it. That was the only reason I did not give it a 5 star rating.
There Are NO Easy Answers to Grief Nov 17, 2005
I was a bit disappointed as I read some of the other reviews. I believe the reviewers missed the point and by doing so, missed out on benefitting from the book. Grief is a process and there are no short cuts. I believe that's the author's main point when she tells her counselees that the group won't necessarily bring them relief. The point of the group, and the book about it, is that you are not alone. There are others out there who understand the kind of pain you're going through, because they're experiencing that kind of pain too. No book is going to take that process away. Every person grieves differently, as this book demonstrates, but we must all experience it in our own way. For some of us that means there WILL be long, sleepless nights of endless tears, days when you can't get motivated (or weeks, or months??) and you lose interest in things that once were important to you, or perhaps you're one who just goes numb and can't seem to snap out of it, etc. There will also be some family relationships that change either temporarily or, in many cases, permanently (see the other book recommended below which has a chapter about just this), and some families where feuds over wills and trusts may break out. Such is human nature. There are no quick fixes (This is why it's so important for us all to be wise and have our estate planning as complete, specific and in order as possible before we die, so our families don't have anything to fight about!). The benefit of a book like this which takes you through a group grief counseling session, is two-fold: 1) You can identify with some of the things that the people in the group have gone through and find comfort in knowing you're "normal" at a time when things, frankly, don't feel like they'll ever be "normal" again, and 2) If you're willing to do so, you can use the same exercises the author takes her counsellees through and do them for yourself. Though doing the exercises won't necessarily take away the pain of grieving, you may very well come to some deeper understanding and acceptance. This book was one on a list recommended to me by the hospice counselor recently when my mom died. It's the second from the list that I've read and I'm pleased to find that it's very different from the other (Also an excellent book which I would strongly recommend for a different approach: "When Parents Die" by Edward Myers). Just as we all grieve differently, we probably have different needs for comfort. I hope some who didn't find the help they were seeking here will give Mr. Myers' book a read.
Good Book Feb 16, 2005
I just finished reading this book. While it did not pertain too much to me being an only child, it did make me realize that a lot of my thoughts are normal. That alone helps some.
More helpful books are out there. Mar 11, 2002
I agree with the other reviewers, especially in that it does not spend a lot of time providing "answers"; the title is definitely misleading. A far better and more sensitive book is by Alexander Levy, "The Orphaned Adult". Please read it even if if you have a surviving parent.
What to expect, not what to do about it Aug 2, 2001
This was the first book that I bought after my father died. At this writing, I'm a 28 year old female with a surviving mother and brother. My mother was the one to go to group councelling, but being a private person, I felt otherwise and sought solice in a book. Boy, did I end up in a "group" with this book. Basically, the book is pretty much written about a group going through "death therapy" and all of their different experiences and reactions. Granted, I could relate with some of them and discovered that some reactions of my own and my family was normal, but the frustrating thing was trying to understand how to handle them. I kept saying to myself: "Okay, I know that's happening, but what do I do?" In other words, I unfortunately did not find much comfort within this book as it really gave me no answers. Whereas the author claims to her group in the beginning: "You're coming into this group, but don't expect results" seems like a cop-out. Why on earth did I buy this book if I wasn't looking for answers? Isn't that the point? Unfortunately, it read like snippets of novels about these people's lives and really didn't give much more information than what they were going through. It was only until the last chapter (roughly 10 pages out of 236 to be precise, that the author gives 10 paragraphs on how to handle a loss. Then why did it take 226 to get to what I wanted?) I was uncomfortable with the book from the beginning. In fact, throughout most of the book I found it unbearable. Reading the tragic things these people went through really did nothing but depress me. Whether it was reading on how they were fighting, or sleepless nights crying or how family feuds got downright nasty over inheritance, it took me six months to get through the whole thing. I was seeking comfort -- not looking for people "just like me." It seemed more of a pity party than help. I wanted to make progress, not reflect on anger and sadness. I don't recommend this book if you've recently suffered a loss. I'm afraid that it didn't give much comfort to me and I will probably toss my copy. It's not very spiritual, and I found it more to tout how great the author was as a psychologist than a genuine benefit to the bereaved. I recommend you shop around or seek out councelling through your funeral home or church (either or usually know of support groups.) This book really didn't do much for me at all and I won't be recommending it.