Item description for You Didn't Complete Me: When The One Turns Out To Be Just Someone by Joanna Harris...
Overview More often than not, women tend to lose themselves in relationships, believing they have found "The One"-- the discovery that signifies the end of loneliness. The assurance of happily every after. If this relationship is lost, all seems lost. But what happens when you meet "The One" and he turns out to be just someone? What do you do when the love of your life becomes the heartbreak of your life? JoAnna Harris understands. After a broken engagement, she was forced to confront the inevitable void after the break-up and truly answer the question -- Who am I without this relationship? While wading through intense heartbreak, JoAnna says, "I discovered that the end of my relationship was not the end of me. That in Christ, I am complete and whole." Using her own story of heartbreak and healing, JoAnna will make you laugh and encourage you in your own journey to healing and discovery.
More often than not, women tend to lose themselves in relationships, believing they have found "The One"-- the discovery that signifies the end of loneliness. The assurance of happily every after. If this relationship is lost, all seems lost. But what happens when you meet "The One" and he turns out to be just someone? What do you do when the love of your life becomes the heartbreak of your life?
JoAnna Harris understands. After a broken engagement, she was forced to confront the inevitable void after the break-up and truly answer the question -- Who am I without this relationship? While wading through intense heartbreak, JoAnna says, "I discovered that the end of my relationship was not the end of me. That in Christ, I am complete and whole."
Using her own story of heartbreak and healing, JoAnna will make you laugh and encourage you in your own journey to healing and discovery.
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Studio: Thomas Nelson
Est. Packaging Dimensions: Length: 8.48" Width: 5.52" Height: 0.56" Weight: 0.48 lbs.
Release Date Dec 8, 2004
Publisher Thomas Nelson
ISBN 0849945259 ISBN13 9780849945250
Availability 0 units.
More About Joanna Harris
JoAnna Harris lives just south of Nashville, Tennessee with one husband, Ryan, and one dog, Minnie. She's the marketing chick for a rock label and enjoys long sleeve t-shirts, Diet Coke and the TV show 24. While not writing books, JoAnna writes about life on her blog, The Glamorous Life.
Reviews - What do customers think about You Didn't Complete Me: When The One Turns Out To Be Just Someone?
Remarkable and Helpful. Even if you aren't Christian. Mar 15, 2007
I did not know this book was Christian. If I had, I wouldn't have bought it. This book turned out to be amazing despite this. 80% of the book has nothing to do with Christians or God.
The book is really an account of the way this incredibly nice woman, closing in on 30, accounts some of her truly awful relationships with men-especially a recently destroyed engagement where the guy brutally dumped her by ignoring her after she quit her job and her entire life and moved to be with him-- and subsequent depressions after the relationships implode. The level of candor, and way she expresses herself, is very striking somehow, and very relatable. Every woman out there can sympathize with the insecurities that she very bluntly describes, and how men can be both cowardly and misleading.
What is unique to me about this book is that so many writers who write about men are funny, and sarcastic, and cynical, and this writer isn't. She is genuinely astonished when these men break her heart, ignore her, tell her she isn't pretty enough to be their wife, etc. (She tries to be funny in places, but overall, it isn't a "funny" book.)So I think this is a book that lets you really empathize with the pain of a bad relationship. Ultimately, this woman comes to term with self-acceptance, in her case through Jesus. But, I think you can come to the non-Christian interpretation of it, which is that you have to accept yourself and that if these men are too commitment phobic/cruel/cowardly/not ready, etc. then it's still their loss and you have to move forward with your life and accept yourself for who you are.
I would be curious to see this writer struggle with the issue of why these very Christian men in her life are such louses, and the fact that going to Church and being involved in Christian activities obviously doesn't make you a good person.
"Nine times a bridesmaid" Jun 3, 2006
I stumbled across "You Didn't Complete Me" while digging through the bargain bin of a Christian bookstore. The subtitle "When 'the one' turns out to be 'just someone'" caught my eye, and I skimmed through it. The theme of the book fit my current ex-relational situation, so it felt heaven-sent. Despite the fact that twentysomething women appear to be Ms. Harris' target audience, I found her story intriguing. I'm glad I gave it a shot.
JoAnna Harris writes in a quirky but honest fashion about getting her heart broken. She was jilted twice by two different men after long-term relationships. Ross dumped her right before their wedding (a few days after she had moved to Boston to be with him), and previously Jack blew her off after a couple years of a one-sided love affair. A long period of darkness followed each of these endings. Writing, community, Christ, and French fries (not necessarily in that order) helped her deal with these twin blows.
Ms. Harris promises in the Author's Note to "not offer empty advice or any lame how-to's" on getting over a significant other. She mostly adheres to that vow in a humorous, insightful, and vulnerable way. I was impressed with her openness, including admission of desperate actions like calling Jack's work phone late at night just to hear his voice on the answering machine. I also liked getting a woman's perspective on romantic relationships, such as her expectations that a solid Christian man would take the lead in limiting the physical stuff. In addition, Ms. Harris discusses how unrealistic expectations sabotage relationships. There's even some exploration of the methods we use to meet someone special. I could relate to her skepticism about a certain unnamed online matchmaking website (cough*eHarmony*cough). Overall, I appreciated the realistic Biblically based wisdom on dealing relational issues sprinkled throughout "You Didn't Complete Me." And even a Yankee male like me could identify (or at least sympathize) with her emotional responses to rejection.
However, I did have a couple of minor issues. First, it was a bit much to read about how absolutely perfect her girlfriends are. I'm glad she has some solid comrades, since that fits with her advocation of community for bearing one's burdens. But c'mon - everybody's screwed up some way, and it bugs me to see folks portrayed as so great that Christ could've outsourced His crucifixion to them. That bit of sugarcoating detracted from the book's honesty. Also, her stream-of-consciousness writing style and girly-girl tangents took some getting used to. Too much personality can be, well, too much. Finally, I wish she had spent a chapter on the dating vs. courting controversy within the church - her insights on that topic would have been welcome.
Despite her relational tribulations, it appears that Ms. Harris' difficult romantic saga had a happy ending. According to her self-named website, she got married on July 4th (an ironic step to take on Independence Day). After what she's been through, I'm glad she finally made it to the alter, and I wish her the best. A sequel about her marriage would be interesting, so I hope that's in the works.
I consider "You Didn't Complete Me" to be part of my "dealing with getting dumped" Christian trilogy. The two other helpful books are: "Loves Me, Loves Me Not," by Laura Smit (a more scholarly treatment of unrequited love), and "Let's Just Be Friends," by H. Norman Wright (a solid guide to handling rejection).
Written like an intimate conversation between friends Aug 3, 2005
"Chick Lit" is a term we often use to describe breezy, female-centric fiction. While reading JoAnna Harris's book, YOU DIDN'T COMPLETE ME: When "The One" Turns Out To Be Just Someone, the idea occurred to me that maybe we should start expanding the term to include nonfiction. If ever a book screamed "Chick Lit" it's YOU DIDN'T COMPLETE ME.
JoAnna's missive to the lovelorn masses was born out of her own heartache. Two major breakups set the stage: Jack, college best friend, said he wanted to grow old with her but couldn't marry her because she wasn't pretty enough; Ross, fiancýe, bailed out two months before their wedding and less than one week after she had left her life in Nashville to be with him in Boston. Ouch. Double ouch.
Of the day Ross calls it quits, she writes: "That night when he leaves he hugs me. It feels like hugging a stranger or an acquaintance that sorta creeps you out. Like dancing with the weird guy at the wedding because it's the wedding party dance and he's your wedding party counterpart. His arms are wrapped tightly around you and you can't escape without making a scene so you do your best to throw your head back, hoping to appear as if you're laughing but really you're trying to flee gracefully. I want to hug him and feel good. To feel like I once did. To feel safe and loved and together. Instead it feels wooden. Artificial. And I know it's over."
Joanna pairs such in-the-moment, heart-on-your-sleeve candor with humor and spot-on observations about navigating our own and society's expectations about love.
"When I was engaged it made me feel like a celebrity. Made me exciting to strangers. Made people sit up and take notice. Hey everybody, look at me! Somebody loves me! A boy thinks I'm pretty! I remember buying stationary at a card shop and the salesclerk oohing and aahing over my engagement ring and wanting to know all about my dress and the flowers and the cake and ... oh yeah, the guy. If I went in today, she would tell me my total and hand me a receipt."
JoAnna chronicles her romantic misadventures with a "just between us girls" sensibility, and just like one of your girlfriends, she can ramble a bit. And be inconsistent. And tell you things that are kinda embarrassing in the light of day. But you listen anyway because she's your friend, and if you're honest, she reminds you a bit of yourself, warts and all.
When all is said and done, JoAnna finds a wholeness in Christ that isn't clichý or trite, but is sufficient. If you've been unlucky in love, have a friend going through a painful breakup, or you just want to have a good gabfest (well, she's gabbing) about love, then I definitely recommend YOU DIDN'T COMPLETE ME.
--- Reviewed by Lisa Ann Cockrel
Hits close to home! Jul 5, 2005
This is a fabulous book, with a very real and understandable message. Just finished reading it, after a bad breakup. And I WILL read it again. A must for anyone who struggles to understand her identity in Christ and feeling loveable after severe heart trauma.
Thanks for the LAUGHTER!!! Apr 14, 2005
JoAnna's book hit so close to home with me. I just recently broke up with my boyfriend (a little over 3 wks ago), whom I thought I was going to marry. I've just recently gotten to the point to where I can talk about it without crying. Her book was just what I needed. Her wit and humor really helped to ease the pain. I know other girls go through this too, but had no idea how similar the cases may be. It was comforting to hear that JoAnna had gone through the same ordeal and was able to pick herself back up...something I am slowly being able to do for myself. Her book was such an encouragement and I would recommend it to anyone who is thinking about dating, is dating, or has just experienced a...umm...loss :) Like JoAnna, through this exerience, the hurt, the tears, the support from friends, my mom, a daily devotional, an now her book, I know I am a stronger person and am only complete in Him! I am not a reader and rarely find joy in reading a book, but I finished this book in 2 days...a record! So, thank you JoAnna for being brave enough to share your hurts to help the hurting. You truly are a blessing!