Item description for I Gave Dating a Chance: A Biblical Perspective to Balance the Extremes by Jeramy Clark...
Overview Clark answers the extreme "Don't Date" movement with a balanced, biblical view of dating. In "I Gave Dating a Chance, " teens and single adults alike can learn how they confidently can pursue healthy dating relationships characterized by holiness and integrity and ultimately bring glory and honor to God.
Publishers Description In recent years, " dating" has become a dirty word in many Christian circles. So dirty, in fact, that young believers are now encouraged simply not to date. This position has provoked an open debate among teens, their parents and youth workers, and single adults. For a great number of them, many questions remain unanswered. " Lord, what do I do with this desire to date?" " Can dating be an option for young adults who love the Lord and long to please Him?" Is not dating really the only acceptable option in God's eyes? The answer, assures author and youth pastor Jeramy Clark, is a resounding " No " The time has come for a sound, biblical, and practical approach that balances out the extreme perspectives: dating without responsibility versus a complete withdrawal from the dating process. Learn how you can confidently pursue healthy dating relationships that are characterized by holiness and integrity--and ultimately bring glory and honor to God--in I Gave Dating a Chance.
Awards and Recognitions I Gave Dating a Chance: A Biblical Perspective to Balance the Extremes by Jeramy Clark has received the following awards and recognitions -
Gold Medallion Book Awards - 2001 Nominee - Youth category
Citations And Professional Reviews I Gave Dating a Chance: A Biblical Perspective to Balance the Extremes by Jeramy Clark has been reviewed by professional book reviewers and journalists at the following establishments -
Publishers Weekly - 01/10/2000 page 64
Christian Home & School - 09/01/2000 page 30
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Studio: WaterBrook Press
Est. Packaging Dimensions: Length: 8.27" Width: 5.5" Height: 0.52" Weight: 0.5 lbs.
Release Date Feb 15, 2000
Publisher WaterBrook Press
ISBN 1578563291 ISBN13 9781578563296
Availability 0 units.
More About Jeramy Clark
Dr. Jeramy Clarkserves as the pastor of discipleship at Emmanuel Faith Community Church near San Diego, California. He andJerusha Clarkhave coauthored four books, three of which hit the CBA bestseller's list. Jerusha's own works span a wide variety of topics, including spiritual growth, women's issues, marriage, and mental health, including the bestselling book"Every Thought Captive." The Clarks teach individually and together at churches, retreats, schools, and conferences."
Reviews - What do customers think about I Gave Dating a Chance: A Biblical Perspective to Balance the Extremes?
Good in many ways, but seems bent on accommodation Aug 19, 2008
Jeramy Clark does not convince anyone that dating is God's will. He redefines dating according to the dictionary - but if the dictionary definition accurately described what a typical high schooler has in mind, the typical high schooler would not be interested!
Clark says to keep it lighthearted - that is NOT what most young women have in mind, especially not Christian young women. Except for special occasions like proms and homecomings and so on, the dictionary definition is irrelevant. Young Christian women are looking for The One, and usually doing so in some combination of desperation and faithlessness - looking for a young Christian guy to come along and make her complete. Well, girls, Jesus makes you complete, even in your singleness, even if you're single for 5, 10, 20, or 50 years! Your Bridegroom will come, riding on a white horse - read about Him in Revelation. And the young Christian guys you are looking to for completeness - they're still more interested in sports and video games than in relationship with God or anyone else! Go to them with your longing hearts, and they'll play you for sport, and like a video game! They are not yet men - that's why you need to wait.
Waiting is an important Christian discipline, and unfortunately it's especially hard for young Christian women precisely because Christian culture honors marriage. We need to honor marriage AND singleness, and teach our young people that the Lord is God, that He is our Fulfillment and our Lover, and that marriage is a ministry - not a proof of blessedness.
You know what Christian young people need to be learning relationally? Brothers need sisters, sisters need brothers, and while some brothers and sisters will marry, they will always need both brothers and sisters, and will remain brothers and sisters through all eternity - even when earthly marriage gives way to the eternal union of the bride and the Bridegroom.
Most of this is covered quite clearly in the Harris book that Clark seems at first to be opposing. It's all the anti-Harris writing that seems to be laced with stereotypes and name-calling. If you read the Harris book, you'd know that there's no holier-than-thou to it. People who are more committed to dating than to Scripture are livid that someone would suggest something as radical as giving up the world's model for dating, probably because they believe that dating holds the key to their dreams. Clark does a good job of trying to calm those fears, and pointing young people toward the Lord, but his strategy seems to be to accommodate the fears of young people by avoiding Harris's straightforward approach.
So Harris is able to be much more direct, while Clark is stuck dancing around issues - Clark sees this as avoiding the extremes, but to me it comes off as a desperate attempt to help Christian young people to keep from seeming uncomfortably different from their non-Christian peers. Clark wants it both ways - "Hey, it's fine for Christians to date, as long as they only date other Christians, because you'd never marry a non-Christian, but then you're not dating with marriage in mind, so just keep it lighthearted, but make your dates like interviews, because a dating relationship is like interviewing for a job, but you're not marrying, so you can walk away from a dating relationship, and after you've walked away from a few dating relationships you'll be more knowledgeable about marriage-like relationships, and you'll be better prepared to find The One, and somehow your past relationship experiences will not be problematic in your eventual marriage, because they were just lighthearted, but somehow these lighthearted relationships managed to be really insightful."
In the end, Clark is probably like so many Christian youth workers who want kids to hang on to their faith, and not see it as an impediment to getting what they want in life. If this book helps the young folks get through this experience relatively unscathed, I'm glad it was written. I just think kids who read and take in what Harris is teaching in IKDG (and really, you ought to read "Boy Meets Girl" immediately after IKDG) will learn more about God's plan for romance and marriage than is taught in Clark's book, and less about how to "Christianly" try do like the world does.
BTW, the most surprising element of Clark's own experience is how much it matches that of Harris. Clark describes his teenage experience of dating around, and following the world's model for dating. Then, when called upon by his youth pastor to move into something of a leader/giver role, he himself "kissed dating goodbye!" During this period, he refocused his life on growing up in the Lord, and became an effective minister of the Word of God. Then in the midst of his devoted service to God as a single person, the more mature believers around him encouraged him to look into a serious relationship with a young woman who was similarly committed to service to God in her singleness. Then Jeramy and Jerusha began dating (Harris would probably call it courting, since they were both of age to marry, and both were exploring that possibility in their dating), and wound up getting married. The big mystery, really, is how a guy who actually lived what Harris wrote about could have come to a point where he wants to teach contrary to what Harris presented, and against the life decisions he actually made.
There's a lot of good stuff in the Clark book, so if your mind is made up on dating, it may be the best you will be willing to read. If you want to make singleness work toward the glory of God, though, feel free to do as Harris AND Clark have done in their own lives - give yourself to the Lord's service in your singleness, and just watch God bless. You may or may not get a spouse - BUT YOU'LL GET GOD, AND YOU CAN'T GET BETTER THAN THAT! Fall deeply in love with the Lover of your soul, experience the warmth and excitement of what John Eldredge calls the "Sacred Romance." And if you do get married, you'll have the greatest wedding gift to give your spouse - a man or woman of God who is actually capable of the spiritual wholeness and selfless give-and-take that is required to make a Christian marriage actually reflect the glory of the relationship between Christ and His Church.
For a wonderful beginning Mar 5, 2008
I read this 4 years ago when I started dating my fiance'! We decided to kick off our relationship by reading this together (we were in high school) and it really gave us some good grounds to stand on. Definitely would recommend this to anyone who wants to start off on the right foot!
Dating for Christians Jan 6, 2008
This book was seemingly written as a rebuttal to "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" by Joshua Harris. The difference between the two is easy to spot: Harris was 19 when he decided to give up dating, and Clark is 26. Obviously, from a Christian perspective, a 26-year-old man has a much better chance of supporting a family than a 19-year-old man does. Both men are pastors at their respective churches and their advice is scriptural. Clark uses his own real-life experience of dating and then marrying his wife, Jerusha, as well as sound biblical counsel and examples.
Just What We Needed Sep 16, 2007
This book is exactly what the Church needed after the flood of anti-dating holier-than-thou material that has ruined many Christians' perspective on God's will. Here you will find solid definitions without straw-man arguments or reactionary statements. A balance has finally been struck! Thanks, Jeramy. God has used you to bring hope for the future.
jeramy clark is the man Aug 21, 2007
i may be jumping in to this discussion several years too late, but i'm glad i read these attacks on someone who's passion is to see young men and women find love in a healthy way. i know how this book came about and i read it several years ago before i got married. not only would i say that jeramy took the time to search scripture, but you're hearing from the heart of a man who intimately knows god.
hands down beats any other christian book on dating. especially 'choosing god's best'. john calvin wouldn't even appreciate that book.