Item description for Families Where Grace Is in Place by Jeff VanVonderen...
Overview Offers advice on how to raise children by focusing on God's grace instead of trying to fix individual behavior patterns
Publishers Description Building a graceful marriage and raising creative, competent, contented children without legalism or manipulation.
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Studio: Bethany House
Est. Packaging Dimensions: Length: 8.45" Width: 5.44" Height: 0.46" Weight: 0.45 lbs.
Release Date Nov 30, 1992
Publisher BETHANY HOUSE PUBLISHERS #7
ISBN 1556612664 ISBN13 9781556612664
Availability 0 units.
More About Jeff VanVonderen
Jeff VanVonderen is an internationally known speaker on addictions and church and family wellness. He has worked as a counselor in both residential and out-patient treatment settings, as well as in the religious community, taught at the college level, and is the author of several books including Families Where Grace Is In Place. He makes his home in California.
Jeff Vanvonderen currently resides in the state of California.
Reviews - What do customers think about Families Where Grace Is in Place?
If I could give it 10 stars, I would Jan 3, 2009
The key to this little gem is that it gets at the root of the problem, rather than offering another "six-step plan to transform your family" or the like. And, most importantly, it recognizes that the root is a spiritual one. Trying harder to fix your family isn't helping because it's part of the wrong system.
The basic thesis is this: In the garden of Eden, before sin entered the world, all was right with our relationships because we depended on God as the source of our wholeness and each other as resources. When sin entered the world, so did "The Curse," which has created a system of idolatry where everyone tries to control everyone else's behavior in order to meet their own needs. So instead of looking to God to meet our needs, we try to fashion the people around us into little gods that will do that. Following so far?
Here's the worst part: Christians are often no different. But instead of trying to get people to just do what we want blatantly, we tend to spiritualize it. Like a wife trying to get her husband to lead family devotions or a husband telling his wife to submit to his selfishness, or parents trying to get their children to do impressive things or behave in a certain way. Christian books on marriage and family are often filled with ways to try to control behavior without changing the heart.
But the "Grace-filled" family is different. The grace-filled family is based on a few root principles: First, that each person is responsible for him/herself, second that each person finds fullness and value in Jesus, and finally that love is given and not earned by behavior. So substance (how things really are) matters more than appearance (how things look).
When you think of it, it's a revolutionary concept for Christians to stop trying and start relying on God to be our source. But, theologically and psychologically, it totally makes sense. I've got highlighting on nearly every page already and this book has a permanent home on my bookshelf!
No more shame Oct 21, 2008
I love this book. It taught me the shameful messages I received as a child and the ones I was dishing out to my children to get them to perform to my standards. Try it.
Grace is in Place Jul 21, 2008
I believe this is the most insightful book of its type I have read and really poses questions and provides answers for parents and married couples that would not only improve all relationships, but more importantly it sets the basis for individual self confidence, happiness and satisfaction by substituting a win-win approach for the normal win-lose situation we find in families and society today. As a Christian, I found the book held the key to really building strong happy people and families. Unfortunately I followed the wrong formula when I was raising my family. I can't do as good a job now with my family but it's never too late to start to make things better. That's what the book is about.
beautiful and useful sentiments Jun 26, 2008
This is a wonderful book to read and apply to your own life or give to others without having to worry that you will look pushy. It does have the "don't" section and the "do" section like a lot of other books of this type, but I found this book to have the most ideas and suggestions that stayed with me. Very inspirational without being holier-than-thou.
Such an inspiring book Nov 4, 2007
As a mother of two very young children, this book was recommended to me as I began my research on grace based discipline. I was excited to find it addresses not only the parent-child relationship but the husband-wife relationship as well. I learned so much from this book. I couldn't put it down. I definitely think that it should be read more than once, as it has some heavier parts and it can't all be truly digested in one read. Highly recommended!