Item description for Screamfree Parenting: The Revolutionary Approach to Raising Your Kids by Keeping Your Cool by Hal Edward Runkel...
Overview Introduces a practical approach to parenting that explains how to overcome the stresses and anxieties of parenting by learning how to relate to children in a calm, cool, and connected way.
Publishers Description You Can Start a Revolution in Your Family . . . Tonight "ScreamFree Parenting" is not just about lowering your voice. It's about learning to calm your emotional reactions and learning to focus on your own behavior more than your kids' behavior . . . for their benefit. Our biggest enemy as parents is not the TV, the Internet, or even drugs. Our biggest enemy is our own "emotional reactivity." When we say we "lost it" with our kids, the "it" in that sentence is our own "adulthood." And then we wonder why our kids have so little respect for us, why our kids seem to have all the power in the family. It's time to do it differently. And you can. You can start to create and enjoy the types of calm, mutually respectful, and loving relationships with your kids that you've always craved. You can begin to revolutionize your family, starting tonight. Parenting is not about kids, it's about parents. If you're not in control, then you cannot be in charge. What every kid really needs are parents who are able to keep their cool no matter what. Easier said than done? Not anymore, thanks to ScreamFree Parenting, the principle-based approach that's inspiring parents everywhere to truly revolutionize their family dynamics. Moving beyond the child-centered, technique-based approaches that ultimately fail, the ScreamFree way compels you to: focus on yourself calm yourself down, and grow yourself up By staying calm "and "connected with your kids, you begin to operate less out of your deepest fears and more out of your highest principles, revolutionizing your relationships in the process. " ScreamFree Parenting" is not just another parenting book. It's the "first "parenting book that maintains--from beginning to end--that parenting is NOT about kids . . . it's about parents. As parents pay more attention to controlling their "own" behavior instead of their kids' behavior, the result is stronger, more rewarding, and more fulfilling family relationships. For those of you reading who "are "parents, "know "parents, or have "had "parents, the notion that the greatest thing you can do for your children is to learn to focus on yourself may sound strange, even heretical. It's not. Here's why: "we "are the only ones we can control. We cannot control our kids--we cannot control the behavior of any other human being. And yet, so many "experts" keep giving us more tools ("techniques") to help us try to do just that. And, of course, the more we try to control, the more out of control our children become. "Don't make me come up there." "Don't make me pull this car over." "How many times do I have to tell you?" Even our language suggests that our kids have control over us. It's no wonder that we end up screaming. Or shutting down. Or simply giving up. And the charts, refrigerator magnets, family meetings, and other techniques in most typical parenting books just don't work. They end up making us feel more frustrated and more powerless in this whole parenting thing. This practical, effective guide for parents of all ages with kids of all ages introduces proven principles for overcoming the anxieties and stresses of parenting and setting new patterns of connection and cooperation. Well-written in an engaging, conversational tone, the book is sensible, straightforward, and based on the experiences of hundreds of actual families. It will help all parents become calming authorities in their homes, bring peace to their families today, and give kids what they need to grow into caring, self-directed adults tomorrow.
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Format: Audiobook, Unabridged
Studio: Random House Audio
Running Time: 300.00 minutes
Est. Packaging Dimensions: Length: 6.3" Width: 6.08" Height: 1.05" Weight: 0.36 lbs.
Release Date Sep 4, 2007
Publisher Random House Audio
ISBN 0739357204 ISBN13 9780739357200
Availability 0 units.
More About Hal Edward Runkel
HAL RUNKEL is a licensed marriage and family therapist, relationship coach, and international speaker. He is founder and President of The ScreamFree Institute--a not-for-profit dedicated to calming the world, one relationship at a time. Hal's principles have already helped thousands of families revolutionize their relationships. He lives with his wife, Jenny, and their two children just outside Atlanta, Georgia. JENNY RUNKEL is a writer, editor, and high-school English teacher. While deftly managing her classroom of juniors & seniors, she also manages and helps produce the content on ScreamFree.com, the online presence of The ScreamFree Institute. Her humorous, insightful words reach tens of thousands sets of eyes & ears every month, including those of her husband, Hal, and their two children.
Reviews - What do customers think about Screamfree Parenting: The Revolutionary Approach to Raising Your Kids by Keeping Your Cool?
What a revelation, parenting is about parental behavior. May 19, 2008
I could not agree more with the author, that the best thing you can do for your children is to bring yourself under control. I have mentored dozens of teenagers over many years through the church, and I have encountered many of their parents, who were out of control during that time. I never really made the connection between the screaming, out of control and unpredicatable behavior of the parent and the angry, depressed, confused and insecure teenagers who lived with them, but now it makes sense. I have always advocated self-control to these parents, but it seems to fall on deaf ears, because it was just me talking from my own experience with my parents, who were always under self-control. I actually had one parent tell me recently that it was her job as a parent to "control her children", and if they were out of control, that meant she was a "bad parent". I told her, with that definition of parenting it was no wonder that there was severe daily conflict in the house with her fifteen and seventeen year old sons.
The author correctly points out that her model of parenting was faulty. She could not possibly succeed in "controlling" her teenage boys without forcing them to give up using their brains and stay forever in the kindergarten thinking mode. I plan to give copies of the book to her and other parents. Hopefully, they will take the time to read the book and put its principles into practice. That will certainly make my job a lot easier.
Good Book, worth the read May 15, 2008
I still have a few chapters to go in this book. I have a 3-yr old and a 2-yr old and a lot of it isn't related to their age group right now. It is helpful in learning to control yourself instead of trying to control your child's--Hal explains it better than I do. It would work in any relationship, not just for your kids. Worth the read. I still yell at my boys from time to time, but I am getting better!
Obedience training might work for dogs, not appropriate for humans May 8, 2008
This is a very good and thoughtful book. It is not a method of discipline, and Runkel is very critical of methods that promise an end to familial difficulties. Such methods may teach obedience, but they do not help children to grow into self-directed adults capable of making good choices on their own.
Instead, Runkel emphasizes that parents need to control their own behavior first. Yelling at children --or the flipside, detaching emotionally --not only doesn't work, it actually backfires. When the parent is in control of her/himself, a better relationship with the child is possible. Reflection questions after each section are wonderful for stimulating thought about how you feel about your children, your own experiences as a child, your hopes and dreams for your children, etc.
This book is definitely recommended for those who cherish a connected, mutually respectful relationship with their children rather than instant obedience.
really important book May 4, 2008
Scream-Free Parenting raises an important topic for parents and explains it in a simple, clear way. Any parent will benefit from reading this book. Even parents who don't scream will appreciate this approach to parenting, because this book has much more information in it than "don't scream." It really helps parents to take the driver's seat in THEMSELVES and in their homes. It address the anxiety that every parent must confront throughout the twenty or so years of raising children and helps parents calm and center themselves before dealing with their children. It helps parents think about the BIG picture in parenting instead of getting lost in the little daily details. I agree wholeheartedly with the author's philosophy and recommend it to my own clients and students. Sarah Chana Radcliffe, author RAISE YOUR KIDS WITHOUT RAISING YOUR VOICE
Great book for all Parents! Apr 21, 2008
This is an absolute must have for all parents. Easy, quick read with tons of important info. This would make a great baby gift!