Item description for Before You Get Engaged by David Gudgel, Brent Gudgel & Danielle Fitch...
Overview Authors David Gudgel, his son Brent, and Brents girlfriend Danielle interact in a discussion that not only reveals 12 relational indicators indispensable to a healthy, lasting marriage, but fleshes them out with dialogue and insight straight from Brent and Danielles journals.
"Before You Get Engaged" offers priceless advice and direction for daters who are considering popping (or answering) the big question. Author and counseling pastor David Gudgel teams with his son, Brent, and Brent's girlfriend, Danielle, using anecdotes, dialogue, and diary entries to discuss the twelve relational indicators indispensable to a healthy, lasting marriage, including:
Would you marry you?
Are you spiritually connected?
Are you better together than apart?
Have you considered what God has to say?
Complete with fun and endearing proposal tips as well as ways to gently ask your significant other for more time, "Before You Get Engaged" will equip you with the insight, confidence, and peace to make one of the biggest decisions of your life.
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Studio: Thomas Nelson
Est. Packaging Dimensions: Length: 7.73" Width: 6.22" Height: 0.68" Weight: 0.6 lbs.
Release Date Jan 1, 2008
Publisher Thomas Nelson
ISBN 0849919185 ISBN13 9780849919183 UPC 023755028556
Availability 0 units.
More About David Gudgel, Brent Gudgel & Danielle Fitch
David Gudgel is the senior pastor at Bethany Bible Church and host of a thirty minute weekday radio program in Phoenix, AZ. A graduate of Westmont College, Talbot Theological Seminary, and Western Seminary, Dr. Gudgel has been in vocational ministry for thirty-five years. He and his wife Bernice have three twentysomething children: one married, one not, and one (Brent) thinking seriously about it.
Reviews - What do customers think about Before You Get Engaged?
what a great book!!! Feb 8, 2008
this book is great!!! it helped me tremendously as i've been making some big decisions about my future and what i want. it is clearly written and not too wordy, which makes it easy to read. and i never got bored with it! i would read for hours at a time! and now that i'm done i keep looking back at sections that i highlighted for reminders.
more specifically, it really helped me to gain focus about if i personally am ready to be making a marriage decision. it also gave me clear ways that i could examine my relationship, to figure out if "we" are ready. this book is full of wisdom that is just great life knowledge to have, whether you are thinking about marriage, have a friend who is, or hope to be thinking about marriage one day.
i definitely recommend it!
Helped me though a tough time. Jan 27, 2008
I picked this book up when I was going thru a tough transition in my relationship. I was in Brent's shoes of diving into a relationship way to fast and way to far. We didn't start with God at the center. We were at a point where things were bad. We wanted to turn things around and heal the wounds from a self indulgent relationship. This book was among a few that really helped me have clarity and restore my faith in Gods ideas of a relationship.
Only get if you can't think for yourself and want God to answer all of your questions Jan 24, 2008
So, having reached a point in my relationship, which is about 2 weeks away from the third year anniversary, I have been participating with my S.O. in serious discussion of engagement. Being one who puts A LOT of thought & reading into my most serious life decisions, I have been looking for alternative perspectives. Basically, I wanted an informed, expert opinion on how a person in my situation could guide him- (or her-) self through the questions that should really be asked when reflecting on the issue of getting engaged. I wanted an expert who would say things like "Most people fall into the trap of thinking about A ... or worrying about C ... but a mjority of these people considering engagement completely miss B, which is the thing that really ends up being what should have been asked to avoid eventual divorce".
Unfortunately, what I thought I was buying was not what I received. For the sake of full disclosure, I should note that I had waded through about a dozen other pre-engagement books that were based on religion and decided to pass. Why? Because I was raised a staunch Catholic and felt I knew what they were going to say. Frankly, I do not need to spend my money and time to read advice that I could get with a call to my father and/or Polish-Catholic mother.
What I am upset about is not so much that this is a Christian book. There are plenty of people who would benefit from reading books written from such a perspective. My problem, however, is that I did not want to buy a book of religion-based advice. Given how overtly Christian the book is - that is, not more than two pages goes by without a bible quote or a mention of God and Christian values - I feel that this book is purposely being marketed to hide its true nature. As obviously Christian as the writing is, I thought I had mis-read (or too hastily read) the description before electing to buy it. Now going back to its description (and the sole review of it that has been posted), I realize I was not hasty, instead I feel that I was duped. If you read this site's editorial description on this book, it does not give a clear impression that it is religion based. One has to read the description page carefully to note the connections with other religious materials (I suppose I should scrolled the page far enough to have attended to the discussion forums). Silly me, I thought the editorial description would be enough. My mistake.
Truth be told, beyond my annoyance with mistakenly buying this book, I am reading it. I figure that I can keep an open mind despite my personal decision to live my life without defaulting to religious principles as the basis of my decisions. So, I have read it to see if perhaps there was some wisdom to be taken from the author's perspective. Unfortunately, aside from wading through the Christian dogma, I find this book and its advice to be incredibly naive. When I am considering marriage, I want to know the practical, everyday issues that come between two people who thought they loved one another enough to commit for a lifetime but somehow lose sight of that love. I want to know why even the most devout Christians decide to get divorced. I want to know what can go so wrong that even a strong belief in whichever religious or philosophic framework one chooses can not save the marriage ...
... what I do not need is a book that serves as yet another platform for a Christian to spread the message of Christ and the teachings of the bible.
Truth about this book - for those who want some relationship advice based on real couples and real sociological/psychological evidence - it does not deliver what is promised. When you can predict the main point of each paragraph from the first sentence (especially when you prediction is based on a full knowledge of Christian dogma), then the book isn't worth the read. The father gives advice based heavily in biblical dogma from the Christian tradition. The voice of the son and girlfriend that are utilized as a unique 'hook' for the reader ... well ... it theirs are the voices of a couple in their early-to-mid twenties who have been dating for all of 18 months (and admit they began discussing marriage after only two weeks of dating).
If, like me, you have the situation of having spent the better part of early adulthood (I am now 34 years old and have never been married) expressly NOT rushing to "find the one" and get married ... if you, like me, are prioritizing making an indepedent decision of your own (as opposed to one based in someone else's pre-established ideals) ... if you, like me, are thinking of marrying a divorcee who has already made the mistakes of getting married for the wrong reasons ... if you, like me, reject the bible as an authoritative reference as a source of 'evidence' ... this book will do little to address your pre-engagement thoughts and concerns.
The only reason I gave this book 2 stars, as opposed to one, is thus: if you can read the book as I have - that is, by translating the religion-based advice into basic issues of interpersonal relationship (personally, I substitute things like "human nature" or "social probability" for "God" or "divine will") - then you see that occasionally the father and his twenty-something, fresh-out-of-undergrad son will let a nugget of real wisdom slip into the pages (upon pages) of extolling virtues of a Christ-centered life and relationship. Unfortunately, these nuggets are not really insightful enough for me to encouage anyone who has had any appreciable adult life-experience to purchase this book.
Soooo helpful Jan 10, 2008
This book was so helpful for me. I found it right when I was starting to consider getting engaged and I ended up reading through it in 2 days because it was so helpful. Then I handed it off to my girlfriend. It was full of content that helped me process so much, and then ultimately feel like I had a better base to make a decision. It seems like most everything else out there is about getting married, not getting engaged. Thank God for this book. I'd for sure recommend it to others.