Item description for Sacred Influence: What a Man Needs from His Wife to Be the Husband She Wants by Gary Thomas...
Overview Applying the concepts from his bestseller Sacred Marriage, Gold Medallion award-winning author Gary Thomas reveals what a man needs from his wife to become the husband she wants.
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Est. Packaging Dimensions: Length: 8.6" Width: 5.4" Height: 1.1" Weight: 0.915 lbs.
Release Date May 1, 2006
Publisher Zondervan Publishing
ISBN 0310247403 ISBN13 9780310247401 UPC 025986247409
Availability 0 units.
More About Gary Thomas
Gary Thomas: Professor in Education at the University of Leeds, UK. His books include The Making of the Inclusive School (1998), Deconstructing Special Education and Constructing Inclusion (Open University Press, 2001) and Evidence-based Practice in Education (Open University Press, 2004).
Mark Vaughan is Founder and Co-Director of Centre for Studies on Inclusive Education (CSIE), a national independent centre supporting inclusion and challenging exclusion. Set up CSIE in 1982, following over four years at the Advisory Centre for Education. Prior to this he followed a career in journalism and was Deputy News Editor for the Times Educational Supplement.
Reviews - What do customers think about Sacred Influence: What a Man Needs from His Wife to Be the Husband She Wants?
The best of its kind! Feb 26, 2007
Of all the marriage books written, Sacred Marriage (for couples) and Sacred Influence (for women) are the best and most realistic. After 30 years of marriage, these two books have significantly helped my marriage to reach a level of love, respect and contentment that none of the other counsels on marriage have. I've given these to both of my children to get them started off right. Even my mother said she wishes she'd had this book years ago.
A truly phenomenal, life-changing book Feb 1, 2007
To date, this book has been the greatest blessing of my married life. Gary Thomas is exceptionally insightful and writes with a heart of compassion and humility that translates loud and clear. I've read through several of the chapters with my husband and was delighted to discover just how much he identified with what Thomas said about the way men think and feel. After reading and discussing together, we had some really great breakthroughs in communication, just realizing where the other person was coming from, perspective-wise. I was amazed.
The subtitle really captures the essence of the book: "What a Man Needs from His Wife to Be the Husband She Wants". Each chapter focuses on a different area of potential difficulty in a marriage where personal change and growth in your own life WILL have an effect on your relationship with your husband. This is not easy to hear when you are frustrated with a difficult spouse! But I can personally attest, following this way of thinking/acting has the power to change your marriage forever. And in the process you will find yourself closer to God and more joyful than ever before!
As other reviewers have stated, "Sacred Influence" stands solidly on Scripture and sound theology. Happily, unlike other books of admittedly equal theological quality, this book is a great read - Thomas has a very engaging and enjoyable writing style. He incorporates many fun and fascinating stories of both present-day and historical couples and lots of personal experience. But don't expect an easy read though; as I mentioned above, the content is extremely personally challenging and goes against just about everything we hear in our culture! Change takes work. I've now learned that to become an element of change in my marriage and my husband's life, that work needs to start with me.
I've been going through and discussing the book a chapter at a time with a small group of women from my church, which has been an added blessing. I highly recommend it for group study - especially in a setting with mixed ages/marital experience, where different perspectives and experiences add valuable insight. And our group has also demonstrated that this book is perfect for wives of vastly differing ages and length/type of marriage - the principles are still the same and we ALL need them! :-)
Excellent Observations Jan 30, 2007
Of the many books on husband/wife relationship this stands out as one of the best.
Excellent guidance Jan 19, 2007
Sacred Influence is an amazing book that empowers women and really teaches the Godly way to be a wife and not get caught up in what the rest of the world says a wife should be or do. I found in my greatest moments of desperation I could turn to this book and be led to an empowered place rather than helpless place. It has also opened up some conversation and humor about the male brain chemistry that my husband and I are able to use rather than become frustrated.
Excellent and highly recommended book Nov 25, 2006
Sacred Influence addresses a woman's role in marriage as designed by God. This book is Biblically sound and doctrinally accurate. Gary Thomas' ability to tell women how be the wives that husbands need them to be and the women God designed the to be in such a kind and gentle way demonstrates his skill as an author and his understanding of love defined in I Corinthians. He does not compromise the truth regarding the requirements God sets before a woman in her marriage, or the roles for which we are designed. However, instead of beating down a woman's spirit, he mananges to motivate women to do their duties, in even the most difficult circumstances because it helps a husband be the man she wants and needs him to be. When I finished this book, it was very clear to me how much men need their wives in every facet of life. The better a wife treats her husband, the more likely she is to be treated better in return. The level of success of this priciple is of course relative to the humility of soul in both people in the marriage, and Thomas does not back down from that principle, either. Being valuable and needed is necessary validation for all of us. Thomas suggests that wives look for how their husbands might be trying to give them that validation, rather than assume the husbands aren't because they aren't doing it the way the wife thinks they should be. Furthermore, he suggests living by example in that regard--don't demand what you're not offering. If wives treat husbands like they are men, instead of wishing they would be something else--namely women, then they come to a point where they cannot live without us. Many women who are dissatisfied in their marriages complain that their husbands aren't men they want them to be. Thomas suggests that wives treat their husbands as if they already are that man while encouraging them in love. Most women don't get what they want because they set undefined and elusive standards, and then issue insults and ridicule when the unspoken standard isn't met. If you treat a man like he's worthless, he'll live up to that. If you treat a man like he's wonderful, he will live up to that, too. If he's worthless, there's no encouragement and no way to escape his pitiful state. If he's wonderful, he's going to do everything he can to protect that value you give him.
I can't stress enough how polite Thomas' presentation is. While he does address issues of authority and roles, he presents it as a true leader would and has a correct understanding that authority in marriage. It is not that of dictator to slave, parent to child, teacher to student, or boss to employee. It is that of love, respect and responsibility to one another for the sake of God's glory, a stable home, and a strong nation. In my opinion, the best thing about this book is that it is written by a humble man, from a man's prespective so that women can understand a man's thought processes and physical nature. Many women seek enlightenment about men from other women--AND THE WOMEN THEY TRUST DON'T KNOW MEN (ie. women's magazines and feminist authors). This perpetuates failed communcation and disappointments in the realationship. He encourages women not to assume the thoughts and intents of their husbands souls, but explains men from a man's perspective and then encourages women to listen, believe and talk to their husbands.
I really liked this book. I thought it was objective about good circumstances and trying ones, behaviors, attitudes, sex, and dealing with one another on a daily basis. He doesn't depict some inachievable panacea, but he doesn't browbeat or fortell doom and gloom, either. I found it motivational with sensible insight, and logical explantions.