Item description for The Men They Will Become: The Nature and Nurture of Male Character by Eli Newberger & Eli Newberber...
How do boys develop character? And what can parents, teachers, and society do, from birth to late adolescence, to help nurture admirable qualities in young men? Eli Newberger brings decades of experience and insight to these vital questions. In a series of riveting stories, he shows boys facing the harsh challenges that forge or break character: cheating, bullying, drugs, alcohol, and competition. "The Men They Will Become" delves to the deepest roots of male character and to the sources of attachment, honesty, self-control, sportsmanship, generosity, and courage. Rather than looking for flaws and vulnerabilities, Dr. Newberger celebrates all the wonderful qualities that make boys boys. The need for leaders of bold but non-violent character makes this wise book of urgent and timely importance.
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Studio: Da Capo Press
Est. Packaging Dimensions: Length: 9.24" Width: 6.03" Height: 0.81" Weight: 1.15 lbs.
Release Date Oct 5, 2000
Publisher Da Capo Press
ISBN 0738203637 ISBN13 9780738203638
Availability 0 units.
More About Eli Newberger & Eli Newberber
Eli H. Newberger, M.D., pediatrician, teaches at Harvard Medical School and founded the Child Protection Team and the Family Development Program at Boston Children's Hospital. Eli H. Newberger, M.D., pediatrician, teaches at Harvard Medical School and founded the Child Protection Team and the Family Development Program at Boston Children's Hospital.
Reviews - What do customers think about The Men They Will Become: The Nature and Nurture of Male Character?
You have one shot with each son. Take aim, and hit the bullseye! Nov 10, 2005
I met Eli in my home town at a seminar. It was titled something like "an exploration of what shapes the character of boys". Nature vs Nurture basically. It's an exploration. Each child is different. He signed his book and *gave* it to me. I was poverty stricken at the time and got into the presention from sheer will to be there. So having met him, and read his book I felt empowered to know that my choices were validated. I can see how some may imply that he is vauge but I assure you, (if you research concisely what those words mean) you will gain more understanding. Defining one's terms is something we don't often do; our language is generally vague. What Eli Newberger shares, if you will but learn what those 'big words' mean, will give you access to tools/insights. Use what works best to develope great relationships with your sons. This is your life and theirs. Make the best of it. You have one shot with each son. Take aim, and hit the bullseye!
Putty in his hands May 20, 2004
A generation of primate behaviour and cognitive science research seems to have whoosed right past Newberger. Perhaps he was busy playing his tuba. Many years of his dealing with abused children generated this "guidebook for parenting". Like all such guidebooks, there are many pearls of wisdom and insightful conclusions. There is also a wealth of self-contradictions, a limited arena to apply his useful advice and some terribly misleading assertions. Underlying the entire presentation is the idea that children are putty in the hands of their parents. All parents need do is take the proper approach [Newberger's] in raising their offspring and all will be well with the world. Or, at least, those families living in North America.
Without clearly stipulating why he focusses on boys instead of children, he seems to feel that "character" is a mental/emotional state best expressed through the male half of society. From this basis, he moves through the various elements he designates as building "character" and explains how to promote them. There are many of them and Newberger is to be congratulated for taking on so formidable a task. He covers the topics well, but as you read it becomes clear that only a limited sector of society will read or understand his programme. A careful read will highlight the many contradictions he overlooked in developing his thesis.
After showing how many conflicts can arise between parents and offspring from an early age, he moves "self-identity" to adolescence. This will console parents who thought the "terrible twos" were an event rivalling the French Revolution. To further reassure parents, he condemns Judith Rich Harris' classic study "The Nurture Assumption" which transferred children's input from parents to peers. That Newberger does this suggests he might have left his clinic occasionally and visited some elementary schoolyards. Boys may appear malleable to parents, but in the schoolyard or street corner, they show a different set of talents. Although Newberger discusses the "hierarchical" social structures that appear among boys, he seems to have no notion of how they emerge.
Newberger's appeal is limited to those parents with the intellect, time, patience, affluence and desire to follow his suggestions. They must quell no end of natural responses in raising boys, and it would be enlightening to learn from the next generation how many of his readers will be in residence in a room with soft walls. It is fallacious to assume that male children come into life with no natural ambitions and capabilities of their own. Not many years ago, it was believed the concept of children, especially boys, coming into life with a "blank slate" had been permanently shelved. Yet, here is Newberger, not only raising the issue again, but compiling a parenting guidebook based on that premise. An infirm foundation for such an important structure. [stephen a. haines - Ottawa, Canada]
An insightful look at the little-understood world of boys. Oct 18, 2001
Dr. Newberger's work is a kind and compassionate look at the nature-nurture of how our young men develop into men.
Drawing on a vast reservoir of experience and insight he takes the reader into the mysterious world of boys; a world frought with hope and exploration, as well as dangers. I was especially encouraged by his treatment of bullying in this book because of the prevalence of the "culture of cruelty," in adolescence.
Parents, counselors, teachers, mentors; anyone with an a vested interest in the well being of boys will find this book to be a valuable resource that will provide support.
This book, unlike many other "pop-psych" type books, is very well researched (without being pedantic), and very well reasoned. As a counseling student in graduate school I have used this book several times as a reference.
With the abuse of children reaching pandemic proportions, we need more men (as well as women) like Dr. Newberger using their insight of child development to advocate for better treatment of children. It is a tragedy of inexplicable proportions that we have the instances, and the severity of abuse that is rampant in this country. Dr. Newberger should be commended for such a fine book, as well as his dedication to the well being of children.
Informative, excellent book Oct 11, 2001
Great book with practical ideas on raising good boys. Most of all, it made sense to me. I'm so happy I read it and will continue to refer to it as my now 8 month baby boy grows up. It's really important to have books like this out there so we can get good guidance on raising good boys!
An Affirming Book, Wonderfully Written Jul 9, 2000
I read this book thinking it would be a rather standard tome on the endangerment of the male adolescent in society. I was pleasantly surprised, then, to find Newberger's approach to the subject of the male character both thorough and non-sensationalist. Beginning with infancy, the author does a wonderful job charting the development of character in boys (although much of the information can be applied to girls as well - the language is far from exclusionary). Newberger also possesses a supportive attitude toward parents and charts the familial and societal pressures faced by them while illustrating how this affects parenting ability and skill. Rather than definite stages, the book is divided into topics like "curiosity", "teasing and bullying", and "play and sports". The result is like a well-done essay series but without the repetition or wandering that often accompanies that type of volume. The best thing about this book is Newberger, though; his loving and supportive attitude toward children and their parents envelops you while not being cloying or patronizing. He is a wonderful resource and advocate for boys, and girls, of all ages.