Item description for The Language of Love & Respect: Cracking the Communication Code with Your Mate by Emerson Eggerichs...
Overview An in-depth study of why your communication styles are not wrong, just different! Finally an answer for the number one problem in marriages-communication! This in-depth study of the vital principles of cross-gender communication helps couples recognize they speak two different languages. They are sending each other messages in 'code' but won't be able to crack that code until they realize that she listens to hear the language of love and he listens for respect. Most advice on this subject fails to understand that husbands and wives are wired very differently, and when those wires get crossed, the communication sparks can fly! Dr. Eggerich's best-selling book, Love and Respect, launched a revolution in how couples relate to each other. In The Language of Love and Respect he shares how that message can be applied.
A Revolutionary Solution to the #1 Marriage Problem
Why does communication between couples remain the number one marriage issue? "Because," says Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, "most spouses don't know that they speak two different languages. They are sending each other messages in 'code, ' but they won't crack that code until they see that she listens to hear the language of love and he listens to hear the language of respect."
Dr. Eggerichs' best-selling book, "Love & Respect," launched a revolution in how couples relate to each other. In "The Language of Love & Respect," he presents a practical, step-by-step approach for how husbands and wives can learn to speak each other's distinctly different language--respect for him, love for her. The result is mutual understanding and a successful, happy marriage.
Previously released as "Cracking the Communication Code"
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Studio: Thomas Nelson
Est. Packaging Dimensions: Length: 8.3" Width: 5.5" Height: 1" Weight: 0.75 lbs.
Release Date Oct 1, 2009
Publisher Thomas Nelson
ISBN 084994807X ISBN13 9780849948077
Availability 4 units. Availability accurate as of Aug 23, 2017 07:21.
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More About Emerson Eggerichs
As a researcher, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, who has a PhD in child and family ecology from Michigan State University, garnered the testimonies of thousands of mothers following the release of his New York Times Bestseller, Love & Respect. These moms consistently reported they applied the respect side of the message to their sons with significant effects. Emerson and his wife, Sarah, present the Love and Respect Marriage and Parenting Conferences across the country. Emerson has also spoken to groups from the NFL, NBA, PGA, Navy Seals, and members of congress. He was the senior pastor of Trinity Church in East Lansing, MI for almost twenty years. He and Sarah have been married since 1973 and have three adult children. Emerson also has a BA in Biblical Studies from Wheaton College, an MA in communication from Wheaton College Graduate School, and an MDiv from the University of Dubuque Theological Seminary.
Emerson Eggerichs currently resides in Grand Rapids, in the state of Michigan.
Emerson Eggerichs has published or released items in the following series...
Reviews - What do customers think about Language Of Love & Respect?
We both like it May 27, 2010
As someone who did not read the author's original "Love and Respect", I can say that we liked the ample biblical references used in this book. You may have already heard about many of the principles listed in this book, yet the scriptural verses and applications provide enough freshness to make a reader want to go on. Plus, it really helps a lot if you read it with your partner, as love and respect are key ingredients to any marriage. Whether single or already married, you may also want to consider Gary Chapman's Toward A Growing Marriage: Building the Love Relationship of your Dreams.
The Language of Love & Respect May 20, 2010
The Language of Love & Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs.
Although I am not married, The Language of love and respect has really revealed a lot to me about marriage I will most definitely practice in my own life as soon as its applicable. Dr. Emerson breaks down the differences of males and females and defines it as the pink and blue. All throughout the book he uses verses and his own personal knowledge to add to his intensive study of the topic. Dr. Emerson talks about how oppurtunities to be thankful for are always present, how to be thankful even if it doesn't feel natural. In an excerpt from the book he writes, ' One of the major reasons we fail to speak T-U-F-T-S consistently to each other is our very human tendency to become more upset about our spouse's poor communication efforts than our own.' The key word here is unconditional, loving unconditionally and showing ultimate respect even if its hard, its worth it to make your mate happy, 'speaking the Jesus way is what its all about.' It was a great read, I would recommend it to any newlywed couple!
Great information, tools, and concepts- albiet repetitive. May 1, 2010
The book Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs is a phenomenal book about the relationship between a man and a woman, particularly in a marital relationship. It clearly defines (whether we really realized it or not) a woman's need to be loved and cherished above all other things and a husband's need to be respected above all. If either love or respect is compromised or questioned, the marital relationship begins a crazy cycle that further destructs.
This book takes the original version the additional step by discussing how we can communicate love and respect to our husbands and wives respectively.
I found the clear, simple explanations of communication refreshing, easy to understand and apply, and eager to follow. Nothing is that new- (think Dave Ramsey: nothing new, just easy to understand principles and clear direction)- but it is all true and applicable.
One concept that really hit me was to 'assume my partner means goodwill'. I found myself applying this communication idea to other relationships as well. If I always assume that a person means no harm, but my well being and good, then I will avoid a lot less stress, strife, and broken down communication.
I found that this book was quite repetitive not only of the concepts taught in the previous Love and Respect book, but also within itself. I would have enjoyed it more had it been a little more precise and condensed.
Communication is one of the top reasons marriages and other relationships suffer. Learning how to communicate Love and Respect to one another is a crucial survival skill for these relationships. The Language of Love and Respect does a fine job of breaking down the details and giving clear and constructive ideas to enhance or improve this communication and I would recommend this to any married or premarital couple.
A Great Book For Marriages Apr 27, 2010
As a first-time reader of Dr. Eggerichs I think this book is for anyone and everyone who is married; whether you've been married for 3 months or 30 years. I myself have been married four years, and consider my marriage very solid, and I have found in this book many practical an useful strategies on how to better communicate and love my wife. Beyond strategies, Dr. Eggerichs brings out the heart of the matter in a few of the chapters, and really shows us how to respond when in our hearts we truly desire to love and respect our spouses.
Don't Miss A few points of particular interest is his time spent on decoding the words of your spouse. Understanding how your spouse communicates will determine what you hear and how you hear it. This book is worth the money if you just skip through to the chapters where he talks on this subject.
Another point of interest is his time spent on clarification. Too often, arguments are built upon a misunderstanding or miscommunication, which could have been avoided had one decided to clarify what was actually being said. His explanation and practical how-to's prove to be very valuable.
Could Miss As a mid-20 something, I found some of his illustrations and writing style, though capturing what he is trying to say, tends to be disengaging. I assume he is trying to drive home his point to be as clear as possible, but for me it bogged the book down and made it a harder read than it needed to be. I felt the book was longer than it needed to be. There was a lot of repeated content that didn't need to be entered multiple times, and over-illustrated some of his points. Once I grabbed the gist of what he was trying to say, I simply skipped ahead to his next point.
In Conclusion Overall, I do recommend this book. Whether your marriage is smooth-sailing or on the rocks, this book will enhance or drastically improve communication with your spouse, and if it doesn't, as Dr. Eggerichs would say, you would still honor God by honoring your spouse unconditionally by the words you speak to him/her.
*This book was provided for free by Thomas Nelson Publisher in exchange for my honest and unbiased review.
Rehash of older material Apr 25, 2010
The Language of Love and Respect: Cracking the Communication Code with Your Mate, written by Emerson Eggerichs, is pretty much a rehash of his earlier book, Cracking the Communication Code. Reading one or the other is enough. Reading both will just be redundant.
Love and Respect offers a lot of useful advice in so many ways that anyone can "get it" no matter what their communication style. Perhaps it really offered too much, it went over the same ideas ad nauseum. I like to get to the point, and don't want to read too much fluff, but if you like fluff, or hearing about others experiences, this might be the book for you.
Love and Respect is written from a biblical perspective, but it seemed the majority of the book was directed at the woman and her "need" to respect her husband more - which I found pretty machismo. I agree with the idea that men are in need of, or want, respect more than anything from their wives (other than a loving physical relationship). If a wife doesn't feel her husband deserves respect, she can often use respect as a means to turn a man around. A pretty basic psychological tactic - if you want change is to compliment the person on doing what it is you want, or compliment them for being the way you want. Often it's enough to get the person to consider change - not because it was suggested, but because the person likes the idea of having that attibute.
What I really didn't like about Love and Respect was the "crazy cycle" where Eggerichs asserts what happens initially is a woman feels unloved, so she denies her husband respect, & when she denies him respect, he denies love, and so on and so forth... That's pretty simplistic, and I'd guess most marital problems just aren't that simple. In the book, if the things which make a woman feel unloved were acknowledged and the husband were schooled on how to be truly loving, the book would have been more effective. A spouse, man or woman, needs help with the kids, someone who will back them, be there for them, help with a household, be a partner in financial issues, help and back them up with in-law problems if that's an issue ... there's just too many variables to say it's merely a woman whining, "He doesn't love me."
No one wants to feel challenged or accused by their spouse. Men need validation and support from their wives in order to feel confident and be loving. However, the same holds true for women. When a man tries to be respectful of his wife's needs and desires, it can turn a marriage around. I'd say more often than not, if the man isn't getting the respect he desires, it's because the woman isn't getting what she needs - which is more than love alone. Books, people, religions...shouldn't make one person feel they're the cause of, or responsible for, all the problems in a relationship - it always takes two to make or break a marriage.
Eggerichs asserts that, more than anything else, women need love from their husbands. If there's love in the relationship, but other things are lacking, the marriage will suffer to one degree or another. If the marriage is suffering, a woman might need something else before she feels truly loving & the marriage is healthy. Maybe more support, more respect, or more help is needed. If she's not getting her day to day needs met, love alone won't do it. For example .. if she doesn't have the help she needs to run a household, take care of whatever children there may be, make sure bills can be paid, have relationships with (or deal with) other people, love alone won't do it. If a man does his best to understand his wife's perspective, and is helpful, that's far more loving than just having love for her. Both husband and wife should try to help with what their partner needs in order for the marriage to thrive. Neither person can be responsible for the other's happiness.
Most married people seem to understand that it becomes very difficult to offer respect when your own needs aren't being fulfilled - whether it's from the man or woman's perspective. Trying to see things from your spouses point of view helps create a loving and respectful marriage. In Love and Respect if particular issues had been laid out & addressed using just the facts without all the excessive fluff, I think the book would be more beneficial to a greater number of people. People who want to fix their problems and create a loving marriage might want to take a look at other books - for example, Relationship Rescue, by Phil McGraw. I'm not a big fan of Dr Phil's books, mostly because it seems he could've covered most of the issues in one book and one workbook, but he does a good job of trying to get people to face their own issues, and own up to their part of the problems in a relationship. There's no blame game, no blaming the woman or the man. He wants people to address their own issues, and deal with them. I haven't read very many books like this, so I can't recommend too many alternatives, but Love and Respect is not one I would feel comfortable recommending.
Eggerichs' (excessive) use of what other people have communicated to him about their own marriages - through email or after seminars - seemed a bit self serving. But, there are probably a lot of people at his seminars who tell him how the books have helped their marriages, so perhaps it's just written in the manner in which he communicates.