Reviews - What do customers think about Intercultural Marriage: Promises & Pitfalls?
Celebrated our 8th wedding anniversary this month! Jul 10, 2008
I read this book 8 years ago and it really helped me see clearly the benefits and strengths of my inter-cultural relationship. At the time of reading it we were blessed with the opportunity to move to a neutral country, something the author recommends, and while it was a difficult first year I think it laid the foundation for a fabulous loving relationship. We have 2 kids and are more in love than ever. I highly recommend this book. I read the first edition, so I imagine the second is even better!
Five stars. Must read for all intercultural couples May 4, 2008
This is a must read book for all inter-cultural and inter-racial couples considering getting married, or those that are already married. The book is easy to read while still being full of substance. I believe it will help strengthen the relationships of those that are already married, and will give food for thought for those who are thinking of marriage.
Useful topics for discussion for international marriages Dec 27, 2007
This book discusses the major problems that people in an international marriage may face, and the benefits that they perceive their marriages as having.
It should be noted that this is not really a book about interracial marriage, at least not between people of different races from the same dominant culture (African American and Japanese American, for example). While some of the couples are from individuals of different "races," think intercultural as in international.
The book contains a discussion of the 19 most common areas of problems between people from different cultures -- such as finances, family, and language/communication. The discussions of these issues contain very relevant information, even for those who are happily married, as they may facilitate a better understanding of your spouse's identity and a more complex view of the world. The author delves into how different people interpret time, and how this impacts one's relationship. The vignettes show the impact that each has on particular couples and will likely spark discussions that may lead one to a deeper understanding of one's spouse.
The author should be commended for not shying away from some of the issues addressed. Most particularly unusual, I felt, was the discussion about death or divorce, and how this can impact those affected, especially one who is living in one's spouse's country. The urging to understand the law of the country you live in and establish a will, as well as think about the impact on your children, are all recommendations that we tend to avoid giving because of our fear of even acknowledging our own mortality.
However, even while urging us to see beyond our own stereotypes, the author perpetuates others, some of which may be appealing for those in intercultural marriages to believe. It is suggested repeatedly that those in intercultural marriages are more "interesting," more adventurous, people than those who marry someone from their own culture. It doesn't take much extending to get to another point -- especially when dealing with American/European women's experience living abroad -- that women in the developing world are generally less interesting and less intelligent, and basically boring to talk to, unless perhaps one seeks domestic guidance. (We are told repeatedly about the difficulty these western women have in making friends, dealing with their in-laws, and functioning as female in a society with overbearing yet oppressed (!) women of the same culture as their husband.) Similarly the author seems mildly hostile towards people who are particularly religious; this more secular outlook impacts certain suggestions for dealing with relationships (such as the idea of a good compromise in an interfaith marriage being that the daughters would be raised Christian and the sons Muslim, or the recommendation that couples live together before marriage).
That being said, this provides useful topics for discussion and ways to deal with problems that may prove useful for those in international marriages. It also contains a short list of reasons people celebrate their international marriages, which may be a welcome read.
READ IT if you're part of an inter-cultural couple! Oct 11, 2007
Despite the fact that I've been living in Greece for 20 years and had considered myself well-adapted, I found this book wonderfully comforting, bringing up issues I hadn't even consciously realized were "touchy" because of cultural differences -- things like food/eating habits and handling of illness.
I purchased a second copy and gave to a favorite Greek/Czech couple just starting out. I hope it will provide them with enough guiding light to avoid some of the things I've learned by tripping over!
A very good allround introduction into the topic Dec 21, 2005
This book lists lots of different areas and topics that can cause problems during an intercultural marriage. It has many many examples of different couples from all over the world. This does not limit the book to one specific combination of cultures.
Although, the book emphasizes the difficulties and shows, that for some couples the marriage was not the right choice, it also shows many successfull couples and it tries to pinpoint what is different in these couples.
All overall an excellent book, an easy read giving a good intruduction into the problems one might face. It also opens the horizon to different ways of thinkings.