Item description for Parent Effectiveness Training: The Proven Program for Raising Responsible Children by Dr Thomas Gordon...
Read by4 cassettes/ 6 hours
P.E.T., or Parent Effectiveness Training, has been called "the 'no lose' method that has become the national movement" by The New York Times.For the first time since its 1970 publication, Dr. Gordon has revised and updated his classic guide.
Designed for toddlers through teens, P.E.T. pioneered active listening, encouraging kids to negotiate win/win solutions and resolve conflicts.This comapssionate guide helps parents teach their children self-discipline and stresses the ineffectiveness of external punishment.
Update with contemporary example throughout,and featuring a new introduction, this edition of Parent Effectiveness Training will introduce a whole new generation of parents to the country's most trusted and widely recognized program for raising happy, responsible children in a conflict-free home.
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Format: Deluxe Edition
Studio: Random House Audio
Est. Packaging Dimensions: Length: 7.13" Width: 4.5" Height: 1.24" Weight: 0.33 lbs.
Binding Audio Cassette
Release Date Oct 31, 2000
Publisher Random House Audio
ISBN 0375416277 ISBN13 9780375416279
Reviews - What do customers think about Parent Effectiveness Training: The Proven Program for Raising Responsible Children?
Great if you have older kids Jun 6, 2008
I've read this book twice in the past year and it has not been an easy read or an easy learning experience. Most of what the author says make sense if you have an older child, maybe 6-8 year old. The book very briefly touches on how to communicate with an infant, but nothing for how to deal with a toddler or preschooler, which for me is the real challenge. How do you negotiate with someone who doesn't have enough vocabulary to communicate their needs/wants or even put a label on their own feelings? At what point you stop negotiating and start using Method I(ordering?). How do you resolve a conflict with someone who has attention span of 2-3 minutes and is off chasing a butterfly? I can see trying to use the techniques later on, but for parents of younger children "Kids are worth it" is a better read.
A Terrific Place to Start Apr 16, 2008
I have studied and written about developmental psychology for 20 years. Gordon is not quite where I started, but pretty close. I do not agree with everything he asserts, but only because he reflects the era in which he wrote, and what research had proven and disproven through the 1970s. We know a great deal more today about interpersonal communication, how children and adolescents perceive, appraise and either unconsciously react or consciously respond to the environment, as well as the physical character, function and maturation of the brain.
To touch on some of the newer developments: Albert Bandura's work on "efficacy" or the sense of personal competence parents can easily help a child to develop. Alan Schore's work on brain-mapping and function showing how the developmental theories predating Gordon's work are reflected in how the child's brain actually operates. The "re-parenting" movement spawned in the field of alcoholism and drug abuse rehabilitation with its powerful, and very direct, implications for appropriate, functional parenting.
I'm hoping that we'll see a single book in the millennial era that pulls things together as effectively as this one did in its day. Bruce Perry's -The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog- is not that book, but the content there is powerful and highly useful for those with "difficult" children. Alice Miller's -For Your Own Good- is not that book, but what it reveals about the notions of child-rearing that continue to predominate to this day is deeply disturbing.
Pia Mellody's -Facing Codependence- is not that book, but her understanding of the child's mind and how we either shape or mis-shape it is some of the best data available. The recently published -Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families- (not to be confused with Janet Woititz's excellent book of similar title) may be the best lay-oriented piece now available for understanding what when wrong and how to fix it... or just do it right to begin with.
For those who really want to "go deep," I recommend Carl Rogers, Erik Erikson, Daniel Stern, John Bowlby, Diana Baumrind, Margaret Mahler, Jean Piaget, Pierre Janet and Alan Sroufe. These are the big names in child development at the professional level.
P.E.T. essential for everyone Apr 6, 2008
this book should be read by everyone and is definately useful not only for the parent - child - relationship but for all relationships.
Incredible, life altering book! Mar 12, 2008
This is a fantastic book.
Especially good for those who are struggling with living up to our own ideals. Because I don't believe in being overly restrictive, and I do not spank, I struggle with my fear of being too permissive...and occasionally I AM too permissive...anyway, we often reach a boiling point where my kids literally drive me crazy and I say things or handle a situation in a way I definitely regret later. Basically I overreact.
This book is a lifesaver, with clearly defined terms, and ways of thinking about conflict that you can implement TODAY. Your family life will be forever changed...and as a matter of fact, by studying these principles you will quickly see improvements in other areas, too.
One section, beginning on page 143 did more to help me with my anger than all the other books I ever read put together! I highly recommend this book, for its psychological soundness and the depth of change it will make in all your intimate relationships.
Must read Dec 18, 2007
Any parent who is exhausted from punishing and/or rewarding and find it is not suiting your needs or that of your child, must read it!! It changed my life and parenting style forever. Most of us were raised with the mindset of using power to dominate our children. This will have you thinking a little bit deeper than the surface.