Item description for Who's Pushing Your Buttons?: Handling the Difficult People in Your Life by John Townsend...
Overview In this insightful book, Dr. Townsend introduces a revolutionary approach for reaching out to, confronting, negotiating with, and setting appropriate limits for the button-pushers. It's an approach that holds out great hope for difficult people--and great encouragement.
Button-pushers come in all shapes and sizes, but they have one thing in common: Their behavior drives us crazy and makes us dream of ways to escape the mess we're in.
The person who pushes your buttons is likely someone who matters to you - a spouse, a parent, a boss, a fellow church member. Almost always this difficult person is connected to you by blood, love, faith, or money, so you can't just end the relationship without causing pain and upheaval in your life.
Our friends and today's culture will often advise us to abandon such relationships quickly - to end this unpleasant chapter and get on with our lives. Psychologist and author Dr. John Townsend disagrees, "Your button-pusher is not someone you would easily and casually leave. You are intertwined at many levels. It is worth the trouble to take a look at the ways the relationship you had, and want, can be revived and reborn."
In this easy-to-read book he offers
Expert insights to help you understand your own button-pusher
Wise assistance in determining the nature of the problem
Compassionate help in identifying your failed attempts to fix things
A hope-filled vision for what can be and how to make it come true
Rich resources to help you navigate the necessary changes
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Studio: Thomas Nelson
Est. Packaging Dimensions: Length: 0.5" Width: 5.25" Height: 8" Weight: 0.5 lbs.
Release Date Sep 18, 2007
Publisher Thomas Nelson
ISBN 0785289216 ISBN13 9780785289210 UPC 020049076569
Availability 0 units.
More About John Townsend
Dr. John Townsend is a popular speaker, psychologist, co-host of the national radio broadcast New Life Live!, and co-founder of Cloud-Townsend Resources. His many books include the award-winning God Will Make a Way and the breakout best-seller Boundaries, both co-authored with Dr. Henry Cloud. He maintains a private practice in southern California, where he lives with his wife, Barbi, and their two sons.
Reviews - What do customers think about Who's Pushing Your Buttons?: Handling the Difficult People in Your Life?
Just a word of caution... Dec 27, 2005
While I find this a pretty good book, and appreciate the approach the author takes, I really was a bit unnerved by the constant quoting of scripture and references to Jesus. If you do not belive in Jesus, or sin or heaven/hell and...I was really put off by suggesting that one reason your button pusher does what he does may be due, in part, to demonic forces.
I wish that I had known the strong Christian slant of this book before I purchased it. I am not Christian, and I am not comfortable with the constant bible thumping. But there are some sound ideas and suggestions.
I had to...as the saying goes, "Take what I want and leave the rest." Some might not be a great match for this book base on what I found.
Good Solid Help , but be warned you may find that YOU are a button pusher Dec 7, 2005
I bought this book because I needed some support in dealing with a couple button pushers in my life and was not disappointed in this books teaching. In this book Dr. John Townsend explains that dealing with a button pusher takes a plan and that leaving is not an option in a love relationship, in fact he states boldly that leaving is for wimps.
This book has opened my eyes to may things here are a few 1- We must not be dependant on the person, we can live with and love a difficult person and still change and grow ourselves 2- That we must set boundaries and consequences and those consequences must be appropriate. 3- Even though I focus on the other persons attitudes towards me, what is it about me that draw's out those attitudes in others, how do I push buttons as well. 4- God is ultimately in charge and although it may look like the other person is not learning anything or having to deal with the nasty behavior, all people pay for their actions one way or the other and you cant run from God and he will in fact make things more difficult on the person in order for them to repent and return to him.
Although this book is no landmark on the subject it does offer solid ideas and help on a difficult subject and I would recommend it to anyone trying to get a grasp on living in a difficult relationship.
Sanity Saver Jun 7, 2005
This book is a wonderful and practical guide to saving your sanity in the midst of a relationship with the difficult person in your life. I stumbled on to this at the bookstore (I came home and ordered it for 1/2 the price on this site)during a time that I was trying to figure out how to deal with a loved one with a personality disorder. I took it to my therapist, who has since reviewed it and recommends it to many of his clients. It is not specific in dealing with an individual with any specific disorder; there is actually no labeling at all beyond the term "botton pusher". This is so helpful! The guidance within creates hope, and provides very practical tools,where as the books I've read from the the secular psychology world put these people in a box. Psychology alone provides much of the same advice, but with very little promise of living a better life with your difficult person. I can't recommend it enough!
Have you ever had someone "push your buttons"? Dec 5, 2004
This book is one of those that I picked up solely based on the title and a challenging work relationship I was experiencing. The self-evident reality is that we all have people in our life in some degree or another who "push our buttons". However, what is always the real trick is how we successfully navigate such situations and accomplish what is needed while not damaging the relationship further. I was hoping this book had some insights.
The basic structure of how the ideas of the book are communicated starts with understanding and diagnosing the situation, then looking at our own past and how we effect our current relationships, and finally what resources we can draw on to continue to grow. I found the most interesting of the insights were in the sections about our own roles. For example, often we bring into a difficult relationship a very unrealistic expectation of the worldview of the other person (Page 5). These expectations often create the very problem we blame on others. Whether this is a generational gap with our kids, or simply just a different way of viewing the world, the effect is that unless we acknowledge and seek to understand, the other's behaviors will continue to baffle us.
Another fascinating approach is how the author here attacks our often self-motivated conflict avoidance. (Page 50) When we fail to provide feedback regarding another's behavior and its effect, we essentially "hate" that person by placing our own self interests ahead of the true caring for the other. Strong words indeed, but plenty of examples are outlined that show how this works.
The last half of the book centers on various resources a person can use to improve difficult relationships. I found these to be useful, but not really unique. Nonetheless, I agree with the author that proper use of these resources can change our lives.
Overall, this is a very good book. If you have someone in your life that has a tendency to "push your buttons" or are otherwise difficult to deal with then I have no doubts that much of this material will be useful. The book is easy to read, contains great examples and is written in a conversational tone during the narrative and an easy to absorb format when presenting concepts. Recommended.