Item description for Why Don't We Listen Better?: Communicating & Connecting in Relationships by Jim Petersen...
Overview With a light touch and sensible techniques, Dr. Jim Petersen distills years of counseling and pastoral ministry into an informal volume loaded with practical tips, examples, and techniques to practice. His book highlights our cultures courtroomlike communication that often puts people at odds with each other. Most people think they listen well, but dont, and folks walk away unheard, misunderstood, and disconnected. Readers will chuckle in recognition at the tongueincheek, but spoton flatbrain theory of emotions. It shows how and why we get upset and confused in tense situations and what to do about it. It lays the practical groundwork to better manage emotionally loaded situations.This book shows communication that works and is equally appropriate for professionals, such as pastors and therapists, and for the general public. The ingenious TalkerListener Card gives a takingturn method to end arguing as we know it. It works for couples, business relationships, church listening programs, counselors, group discussions, and the family dinner table listening game. Thirty listening techniques will help the reader immediately begin to turn enemies into friends, poor relationships into decent ones, and good relationships into better ones. These accessible skills are being used in pastoral counseling classes, counseling offices, church staffs, professional offices, on dates, in corporate board rooms, and at kitchen tables around the country .
Publishers Description With a light touch and sensible techniques, Dr. Jim Petersen distills years of counseling and pastoral ministry into an informal volume loaded with practical tips, examples and techniques to practice. His book highlights our culture?'s courtroom-like communication that often puts people at odds with each other. Most people think they listen well but don t and folks walk away unheard, misunderstood and disconnected. Readers will chuckle in recognition at the tongue-in-cheek but spot-on flat-brain theory of emotions. It shows how and why we get upset and confused in tense situations and what to do about it. It lays the practical groundwork to better manage emotionally loaded situations.This book shows communication that works and is equally appropriate for professionals, such as pastors and therapists and for the general public. The ingenious Talker-Listener Card gives a taking-turn method to end arguing as we know it. It works for couples, business relationships, church listening programs, counselors, group discussions and the family dinner table listening game. Thirty listening techniques will help the reader immediately begin to turn enemies into friends, poor relationships into decent ones and good relationships into better ones. These accessible skills are being used in pastoral counseling classes, counseling offices, church staffs, professional offices, on dates, in corporate board rooms and at kitchen tables around the country .
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Studio: Petersen Publications
Est. Packaging Dimensions: Length: 8.97" Width: 6.04" Height: 0.6" Weight: 0.9 lbs.
Release Date Feb 8, 2008
Publisher NEWLIFE BOOK DISTRIBUTORS
ISBN 0979155908 ISBN13 9780979155901
Availability 0 units.
More About Jim Petersen
Jim Petersen has been on Navigator staff since 1958. He pioneered the Navigator ministry in Brazil. He is also the best-selling author of Living Proof, The Insider, and Church Without Walls. Glenn McMahan is on Navigator staff in Londrina, Brazil. He is also a journalist and has worked for the Frederick Times near Baltimore, Maryland. Dr. David Russ lives in Charlotte, North Carolina. He is a certified psychologist with twenty years of experience in counseling.
Jim Petersen has published or released items in the following series...
Reviews - What do customers think about Why Don't We Listen Better? Communicating & Connecting in Relationships?
Saved my marriage Oct 17, 2008
Using the Talker Listener process saved my marriage several years ago and continues to help my husband and I communicate hot button topics with each other. We tend to start arguing and then bring out the card, not what is suggested, but once the card is there in the middle it kind of becomes a referee in our exchanges. We play by the rules, no one gets hurt and problems are solved.
CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?!?! Sep 5, 2008
One of the definitions of creativity is the ability to bring existing thoughts and processes together in new ways. That is the genius of this book.
We all talk about the value of being a good listener. We have all been in situations where we haven't been heard and felt that frustration. We have all been in situations where we did not listen responsively to someone we love and felt that frustration. We have all been in relationships where we hash over the same issues ad nauseam, then stop talking about them...period...never getting to the crux of the problem. We have all gotten into trouble because we have misheard clients, spouses, children, students and friends.
So, what's new? The talker-listener card, diagrams that illustrate various listening challenges and their solutions, the abundance of examples to exemplify relevant ideas, and a friendly style.
I teach reading skills to homeless people and know I would not be nearly as effective without the knowledge in Dr. Petersen's book.
Rehashed concepts, repackaged for casual reader. Jun 17, 2008
I read this book for my masters program and must say it was a difficult read for myself (great sleep aid, however). I work in the psychology field already and the concepts he discussed are basic knowledge for anyone that is working in this field. He basically just used pictures, flat brain, thud, etc. and "dumbed down" concepts to casual reader or college students with little to no experience in the psych. or sociology field. Anyone who is employed in the "helping fields" have heard these concepts a thousand times over and repackaged by their company, workshop or those in Academia that all believe that they have created a great, new theory to change how people communicate. As we know those in Academia have their thoughts on psychology and those that actually work in the "trenches of psych" know this is basic concept and the author has not created anything new for the professional. I would recommend this book to those that are new to the field, professors that have little experience in the field or outside of college environment and casual readers. I would not recommend this to professionals involved in the field.
The talk-listen card is pure genius! May 18, 2008
Jim Petersen's book, Why Don't We Listen Better?, is easy to read and easy to follow. If you are in a crisis communication situation, you can start on the road to communicating better in less than an hour with the talk-listen card that is included with the book.
Using the talk-listen card helps relieve tension by allowing participants to focus on the job they should be doing at the time. This technique makes talking about things you might be upset about less intimidating and scary.
If I could be Queen For A Day, I'd ask that everyone learn the techniques presented in this book, and be a "card-carrying" listener.
Unique implementation of excellent ideas Jan 31, 2008
This book was recommended by a psychiatrist friend of mine. It was well written (although I did find some typos) and contained information new to me.
I found two concepts that were particularly useful:
1. The 'flat brain' theory & 2. The 'talker-listener' card strategy.
The 'flat-brain' theory explains why it is hard to listen when emotions are involved. And the author's description of the 'talker listener' card strategy provides a detailed and clearly-explained methodology for both listening AND being heard.
The author's common-sense explanations of listening techniques add quite a lot to the value of the book and obviously have been honed over the years through the author's experience as a pastoral counselor.
My wife and I read this book to each other, and spent a lot of time discussing the content as we went along. I highly recommend this method of reading. Now we both use the 'talker-listener' method when discussing 'hot' topics. It helps us listen to each other's point of view and we usually both feel 'heard' even when we disagree. I also find myself listening better almost anytime I find myself with someone who is talking.
Over-all, if you are in the market for a book that will make a big difference in your ability to communicate (talk and listen) in difficult situations, then this is your book!