Item description for Bold Love by Dr. Tremper Longman Dr. Dan B. Allender, III...
Overview The authors show how the aggressive, cunning, and irrepressible nature of genuine love can bring restoration to even the most destructive relationships. For with the unrelenting, courageous pursuit of those who have offended, abused, or sinned against us comes the promise of genuine reconciliation.
Publishers Description We've come to view love as being "nice," yet the kind of love modeled by Jesus Christ has nothing to do with manners or unconditional acceptance. Rather, it is disruptive, courageous, and socially unacceptable. In Bold Love, Dr. Dan Allender and Dr. Tremper Longman III draw out the aggressive, unrelenting, passionate power of genuine love. Far from helping you "get along" with others, Bold Love introduces the outlandish possibility of making a significant, life-changing impact on family, friends, coworkers--even your enemies. Learn more about forgiveness, maturity, and seeing others through Jesus' eyes.
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Est. Packaging Dimensions: Length: 8.86" Width: 6.66" Height: 0.83" Weight: 0.95 lbs.
Release Date Jul 1, 1993
Publisher NAV PRESS #111
ISBN 0891097031 ISBN13 9780891097037
Availability 63 units. Availability accurate as of Mar 25, 2017 07:59.
Usually ships within one to two business days from Fort Wayne, IN.
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More About Dr. Tremper Longman Dr. Dan B. Allender, III
Dr. Dan B. Allender received his MDiv from Westminster Theological Seminary and his PhD in counseling psychology from Michigan State University. Currently, he serves as professor of counseling psychology and president at Mars Hill Graduate School. Dr. Allender travels and speaks extensively to present his unique perspective on sexual abuse recovery, love and forgiveness, worship, and other related topics. He and his wife, Rebecca, have three children and live in Seattle, Washington.
Dan Allender has published or released items in the following series...
Reviews - What do customers think about Bold Love?
Real Love Is Not For Wimps! Nov 30, -0001
This is actually going to be my fifth reading of Bold Love. The more I read it the more I understand why love gets such a bad rap. I have learned that real love, God's love is both sacrifical and exhilirating. Learning and understanding how God loves frees me to love better and to recognize when I am not being loved. This is a journey like no other but worth every step!
Bold Love-- Not a book for cowards! Nov 30, -0001
This book challenged me in so many ways. It helped me look at myself, God and loved ones very differently. Only read this book if you're ready to be broken and humbled before a holy God and be used as his healing tool for others.
One of the most influential and impacting books I have ever read. Nov 30, -0001
The authors encourage the reader to see abusers, even those in the immediate family at least as sinners or even as simpletons, fools and evil persons - as enemies. They emphasize that one should love one's enemies, but not in a weak sort of way simply forgiving years of mistreatment, or forgiving and forgetting. A strong or bold love, wants to help change the heart of the abuser as well as one's own heart. Ideally, repentance and reconciliation are the goal when a relationship has been misused, not only from person-to-person but from person-to-God. The authors admit that this is not always possible, but the abused can disarm his abuser with love (even love at a distance if necessary), and even overwhelm him so much that he might not be able to do anything else except have a lasting change of heart and ask forgiveness. They encourage the abused, whether they have been abused physically, sexually or spiritually, to be couragious enough to not only pray for their enemies but love them enough to want them restored to others and to God.
A creative and shrewd love, as modeled by Jesus Christ, is encouraged. Three different kinds of abusers are portrayed and general tips on how to disarm them and surprise them with strong and effectual love are provided. The authors portray hate, and explain how this can be turned into love. They cannot address every situation in detail, but the tips are general enough that they can apply to different abusive situations depending on the circumstances.
This book was lent to me by a counselor, and together with counseling caused me to see that I was not just in a mildly abusive situation where most would say to forgive and forget, but could take action to help myself and even help my abuser, if he is willing to be helped. This book played a major role in helping me look at my own heart and motives, and make good guesses about the heart and motives of my abuser. The description of a fool as offered in the book fit that person to the T. Armed with this information, I was able to see that the abuse in my life was much worse than I had supposed, it was even evil. I realized that I had to combat the evil, not the person that was doing it. This freed me to make decisions that were long overdue and has brought a new hope even before the final solution of the problem is yet to be seen. For the first time in years the sadness is clearing, weakness is turning into strength, and joy and peace are increasing.
The authors give no guarantee that all relationships will become whole again if Bold Love is used, this has to be desired and worked on by both sides. Bold Love may result in a relationship that ends completely, driving away those that are unable to respond to it, but the ones that do the loving don't lose, they always win because this deep kind of love improves character. The person that employs Bold Love will not be the same again, even if the person he loves with it is not able to change.
Following the advice in the book requires scrupulous honesty for the victim, and the bold love that he then holds out to his abuser may shock the other into responding, provided he has a conscience. If the abuser is surprised enough when his abuse does not cause the anger and sadness that he intended, his heart may soften and he might be able to experience a change of heart if he is able to be honest with himself and confront the bad things he has done (The book addresses both men and women as abusers and abused). The abuser may want to apologize or ask forgiveness, this is the time at which the authors recommend open forgiveness, and the relationship may be restored. The only weakness in the book that I saw was that it did not address how to deal with sociopaths, who have no conscience and cannot experience true remorse. But for most relationships there is hope that they do not have to be continued in a damaged and pathetic state, but can be restored so that those in them have peace with each other, and if not, those that are suffering may find the strength to leave damaging relationships and gain peace this way too. This book is for those that are tired of sweeping everything under the rug. For those that are willing to look at themselves and others honestly, Bold Love offers a hope that can change them forever. I can honestly and heartily recommend Bold Love, it is one of the most influential and impacting books I have ever read.
When the student is ready, the teacher will appear Nov 30, -0001
I saw Dan Allender speak at one of Willow Creek Church's conferences in 2005. God has gifted him well - Dan is an excellent teacher. I love his style, so I bought this book.
I bought this book months before I started reading it. I had prayed for help in loving people - something I was struggling with.
I bought it because of a few of the things it says on the cover - "Know the difference between loving an evil person, a fool, and a normal sinner; How to love an abusive person without opening yourself up to more damage." I experienced this as one of those books I would want to take my time with, drink in slowly - one of those books that would teach wisdom as well as point out areas in my own life on which I needed to work.
Be warned, Dan doesn't pull his punches - truth, as any good discipline, does not always feel good. This book will convict you where you need it.
Dan writes/speaks with an honesty, humility, beauty and passion that I haven't experienced in many other books of this type. He speaks from experience, with a wisdom that can only be gained from that school of hard knocks, as well as a passion to share the truth and beauty of the Gospel. The book is everything I hoped it would be.
A Life changing Book Nov 30, -0001
I try to get everyone who has relationship issues to read this book. It has become my second Bible. I have been a Christian and involved in 12-Step recovery for over 20 years and had a vague understanding of the "tough" love model but had a difficult time reconciling that to the Biblical "turn the other cheek" model. This book has changed my life!!! It has taught me what normal, healthy, confrontation looks like instead of aggressive,brutal, honesty. It has taught me how to strategize my love walk without compromising my values and boundaries. I learned to spend more time in prayer and prepare for the day when a heart is open to hear. I learned to balance mercy and justice. I cannot say enough about this book. I want to teach these principles to others. They are so vitally necesary. Not your same ole' whimpy relationship book!!