Item description for Her Hand in Marriage: Biblical Courtship in the Modern World by Douglas Wilson & Wilson...
Overview The modern dating system is bankrupt. It does not train young people to form a relationship but rather to form a series of relationships, hardening themselves to all but the current one. Recreational dating encourages emotional attachments without convenantal fences and makes a joke of a father's authority. The disrespect children have for their fathers in this area is an echo of the disrespect fathers have for their own office. Biblical courtship provides a wonderful freedom. It involves familial wisdom and godly protection. Grounded upon the involved authority of the father, courtship delights in its public connection to the lives of families. Sexual purity is a great inheritance for a marriage, and part of the fathers job is to guarantee to protect that heritage. Biblical courtship is a humble affront to the sterility of modern relationships. And as a new generation rejoices in this ancient wisdom, the current waves of broken relationships will begin to recede.
Publishers Description The modern dating system is bankrupt. It does not train young people to form a relationship but rather to form a series of relationships, hardening themselves to all but the current one. Recreational dating encourages emotional attachments without covenantal fences and makes a joke of a father's authority. The disrespect children have for their fathers in this area is an echo of the disrespect fathers have for their own office. Biblical courtship provides a wonderful freedom. It involves familial wisdom and godly protection. Grounded upon the involved authority of the father, courtship delights in its public connection to the lives of families. Sexual purity is a great inheritance for a marriage, and part of a father's job is to guarantee and protect that heritage. Biblical courtship is a humble affront to the sterility of modern relationships. And as a new generation rejoices in this ancient wisdom, the current waves of broken relationships will begin to recede.
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Douglas Wilson (MA, University of Idaho) is a pastor, a popular speaker, and the author of numerous books. He helped to found Logos School in Moscow, Idaho, and is currently a senior fellow of theology at New St. Andrews College. He blogs regularly at DougWils.com.
Marvin Olasky (PhD, University of Michigan) is the editor in chief of World magazine, holder of the distinguished chair in journalism and public policy at Patrick Henry College, and senior fellow of the Acton Institute. He was previously a professor at the University of Texas at Austin, a Boston Globe reporter, and a Du Pont Company speechwriter. He is the author of twenty books and more than 3,500 articles. He and his wife, Susan, have four sons.
Reviews - What do customers think about Her Hand in Marriage: Biblical Courtship in the Modern World?
Great Book! Mar 21, 2008
Book is exactly as it says it is, informative and thought out. Product came as described. Would buy another of Wilson's books through this site. It is very thorough on describing biblical courtship. Describes parental involvement, the father's authority, whats expected of the children vs what soceity does.
Education does not equal being correct Nov 14, 2007
While I am an no way doubting the author's educational history or Biblical prowess, I am wondering why people (even women) who are so vastly knowledgeable do not understand the importance of historical context. Sure, let's say head coverings for women and long hair for men are culturally based, but wait a second. Women not teaching or preaching? Not supposed to speak in the church? No say in the ways of courting? Of course! That has to be correct for all time! There's no way that is culutural! Please. For everyone's sake, get off the male high horse and look and the Bible as it is. Of course it's God-breathed. Of course its teachings are correct and show the way to living a christian life, but it was written thousands of years ago. Do you really believe that culturally based views are supposed to be apart of our lives as christians? Where are your slaves then? No slaves? Hmm...but the Bible tells slaves to obey their masters. That means we're supposed to have slaves, right? Wrong. Do some word studies from the original texts. The Bible as it was written is the Word of God. However, once it came into the hands of Man, humans do what humans do best. Make mistakes. They applied cultural glasses to filter the Word into what they thought they knew to be best. Please stop spreading the ways of the past, because they only lead to living lives based on physical and earthly things. Living lives that focus on moving towards spiritual, Godly ways is the only way to know true happiness and contentment.
Women are precious...and so is your purity Jun 20, 2007
Although I do not agree with all of the material in this book, when I look back on my life this book brings up food for thought. Christians are NOT supposed to be like the world. My father died before I was 5. My mother did not remarry. Although she was a great woman, she became swept up in dating immorally. No one came into the house as daddy but she dated the world's way. She was hurt many times. I followed her example and ended up the same way. I wish I could have had the strength to keep my virginity for the right one. It was traumatic to lose it in a manner void of love. SEX IS NOT LOVE, LADIES! If you are a Christian, save yourself the pangs of doing the world's way! I am saving myself for my God mate. Men who are not saved can only see one thing from you and that is that precious purity that God gave you for one man. So while many attack this man, I can only speak from experience. Many women (saved or unsaved) will not admit it but a lot of emotional psychological abuse is done by women giving it away and only the blood of Yeshua can make you whole again and reshape your torn abused image of your intimate life. There is a price to pay for allowing the world's misogynist message to seep into your brain. Everybody is not doing it and I am praying and believing the merciful grace of God give my daughter a wonderful man to marry who cares about her and not just wanting one thing.I also pray and believe that God will reward my obedience by bringing me a man of God who can give her away because a man who does not know God cannot properly guide her...it cuts but it is the truth, no matter if it is the biological father. This brings up one more important factor: DO NOT MATE WITH ONE WHO IS UNEQUALLY YOKED! You will save yourself countless battles and debates with someone who just does not get the message of the Trinity
Nothing Modern and very little sensible in this Book Aug 21, 2006
Once again, Wilson simply doesn't get it. His book "Federal Husband" was proof enough of his extreme failure to grasp women, but this book proves all the more that he's stuck in a time when women and young girls were property under the authority of their fathers.
At first glance, this book may seem like a compassionate and loving guide to raising children, but it is truly, horribly out of date. Parents have the right to control who their children date only as long as they are children; once they are adults, they should make decisions on their own. I agree that parents are responsible for raising their kids in Christian ways, but Wilson's ideas of incredibly controlling ways to raise daughters actually repulsed me. He harps over and over that a father is in charge of his daughter's virginity, to the point where he gave me a mental image of a father guarding his daughter's bedroom door 24/7. Why not just advise fathers to put their daughters in chastity belts and call it a day? If fathers were truly this controlling and actually called themselves the "guards of their daughter's virginity", they'd be ordered to get psychiatric treatment by a court of law.
Another pet peeve for me was that, in the book, a woman's virginity is mentioned far more than a man's, so we're to assume it's worse if a girl's not a virgin upon marrying; I'm so sick of this! When are people going to realize that God considers a man's sexual purity just as important as a woman's? Most offensive, though, was Douglas' outrageously sexist statements that women cannot and should not make it on their own in the world. He actually says, "Sons are trained for independence, whereas daughters are trained to pass from one state of dependence to another. Sons leave home; daughters are given." I wouldn't have had a problem with this if Wilson was clearly saying that this is NOT how it should be, but he was indicating that because people in Biblical times treated women like this, they should continue to be treated the same way now. Um, wrong; women have jobs now and for good reason. One of the reasons I respect my father is that he expects me to be just as independent when I leave home as a man would be, and rightly so! All the Christian men I know respect independent women.
I also didn't like Wilson's statement that "a man should not worry about disrupting a woman's life upon courting her". He went on to say that a man who is worried about upsetting a woman's life is not truly masculine. Since when is polite concern about HER life and HER plans un-masculine? If I were dating a guy and he demanded that I marry him right away and drop all my plans for college, I'd give him a flat-out no! So would all the other women I know; concern and respect for a woman and her ideas are two of the most masculine and mature qualities a man could have and Wilson is dead-wrong in discouraging them. I suggest he pull his nose out of Biblical times and look around a bit at the modern world. The majority of Christians have adapted to the changes in the world while still remaining devout; it's about time the Wilsons did the same.
What a blessing! Jun 13, 2006
I highly recommend this book. It is so very valuable. It opens your eyes to the proper Godly way of doing things. Ever wonder why dating doesnt work? No wonder emotions took me for a roller coaster ride! No wonder all that mess happened to me over and over and over again.
Dating is the worlds way, and it carrys with it some of the consequences from the world.
This book gave me the Biblical perspective to do things right, and I am eternally grateful.