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The Good Divorce [Paperback]

By Constance Ahrons (Author)
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Item description for The Good Divorce by Constance Ahrons...

A sensitive guide to family issues during and after divorce is based on the author's renowned Binuclear Family Study and offers couples compassionate advice on moving themselves and their children through the separation process. Reprint.

Publishers Description

It's never too late to have a good divorce

Based on two decades of groundbreaking research, The Good Divorce presents the surprising finding that in more than fifty percent of divorces couples end their marriages, yet preserve their families. Dr. Ahrons shows couples how they can move beyond the confusing, even terrifying early stages of breakup and learn to deal with the transition from a nuclear to a "binuclear" family--one that spans two households and continues to meet the needs of children.

The Good Divorce makes an important contribution to the ongoing "family values" debate by dispelling the myth that divorce inevitability leaves emotionally troubles children in its wake. It is a powerful tonic for the millions of divorcing and long-divorces parents who are tired of hearing only the damage reports. It will make us change the way we think about divorce and the way we divorce, reconfirming our commitment to children and families.

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Item Specifications...

Studio: Harper Paperbacks
Pages   301
Est. Packaging Dimensions:   Length: 7.94" Width: 5.36" Height: 0.73"
Weight:   0.6 lbs.
Binding  Softcover
Release Date   May 1, 1998
Publisher   Harper Paperbacks
ISBN  0060926341  
ISBN13  9780060926342  
UPC  099455014007  

Availability  0 units.

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Product Categories

1Books > Subjects > Health, Mind & Body > Self-Help > General
2Books > Subjects > Health, Mind & Body > Self-Help
3Books > Subjects > Parenting & Families > Family Relationships > Divorce
4Books > Subjects > Parenting & Families > General

Reviews - What do customers think about The Good Divorce?

This book gave us inspiration...  Jan 12, 2008
Relational Shifts: A Family Doesn't Have to End Just Because a Marriage Does

Our family is another proof of this book's positive impact on what could have been a very negative story...we wrote our story, raw and vulnerable and filled with things most people wouldn't share with their therapist or best friends...we share our worst in the hopes that it can help others find their best...somehow, starting with this book, THE GOOD DIVORCE, we found out way to a better family.

We were honored to be Keynote Speakers at an event for the Collaborative Law Institute which is hosting Constance Ahrons as their Continuing Education Lecturer.

Blessings on this woman and all the goodness she has helped others live with integrity for a higher goal...FAMILY!

warmest regards,
Should only be used in extreeme situations  Mar 6, 2007
My parents read this book as they were considering separating. It convinced them that there was no reason to resolve their differences, and that our family would be somehow stronger. It absolutely gives unhappy people the unfounded expectation that if they can just be friendly with each other, negative effects can be completely avoided.

In the end it made my parents separation all the more painful for me and my adult siblings, because it built an expectation that divorce would be easy on everyone. When it wasn't, the only response was to blame us kids, because they were working really hard at their "good" divorce.
Must Have  Dec 26, 2006
This is a must have book for anyone considering a divorce, in the process of divorcing, or even already divorced. There is much practical advice as well as encouragement in this book. I highly recommend it!
Great resource from a Family Counselor's view  Nov 19, 2006
I am a Counselor. Rule #1 is "Do not counsel friends and family."
I gave this book to my son and his ex. Thier break up was BEYOND poisonous to my Grandson. I asked them to read it & seek help. Otherwise I was going to seek custody of my Grandson. {It was THAT bad.}
This book, along with a good 3rd party counselor, helped immensely.
It is, in my opinion, good no nonsense advice. It will help open eyes of exactly WHAT you are possibly doing to your children during a divorce.
One of the Most Toxic Books of the Last Two Decades  Apr 17, 2006
As a very successful child of a "good divorce," I cannot think of a more destructive book published in the last 15 years. Despite the fact that a divorce is sometimes necessary (in the case of abusive marriages, for example), the phrase "good divorce" is an oxymoron! The ruin--and yes, divorce ruins things even when it may make certain things better--of 50% of families in America is anything but good.

This book is not written with the well-being of children in mind, but rather with the well-being of the parents. The very idea that there is ideally no one to blame in the break-up of a marriage is ludicrous. People today, it seems, have found various other things (success, personal fulfillment, inner peace) that are more valuable than other people. Is it not a scary fact that this book aims at absolving divorcing parents of all guilt? The sad result is that the guilt inevitably falls onto the children, regardless of how many times they are told that it is not their fault. It is simply indicative of our self-centered, individualistic society today that we honestly believe that our spouses can remain such only so long as they are promoting our pure happiness and contentment every waking minute.

To any parents who are entertaining the idea that a divorce in which conflict is minimized is not harmful to children, I must, from personal experience, issue a resounding, "NO, a marriage is the best thing you can give to your children." Some things, my friends, are worth fighting for--and the love of your life trumps them all.

For an excellent yet sensitive counter argument to this book's selfish and guiltless agenda, I would strongly recommend Elizabeth Marquardt's "Between Two Worlds: The Inner Lives of Children of Divorce:"

"Why are children of divorce considered so resilient? Because the adults need them to be that way."

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