Item description for The Mom Factor by Henry Cloud, John Townsend & John Sims Townsend...
Overview Describes various styles of mothering, provides advice for adults on how to reconcile with their mothers, and discusses the conflict between nurturing and outside work
Publishers Description No one has influenced the person you are today like your mother. The way she handled your needs as a child has shaped your worldview, your relationships, your marriage, your career, your self-image -- your life. The Mom Factor can help you identify areas that need reshaping, to make positive choices for personal change, and to establish a nature relationship with Mom today. Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend steer you down a path of discovery and growth beyond the effects of six common mom types: - The Phantom Mom . . . - The China Doll Mom - The Controlling Mom . . . - The Trophy Mom - The Still-the-Boss Mom . . . The American Express Mom -- You'll learn how your mom affected you as a child and may still be affecting you today. And you'll find a realistic and empowering approach to filling your unmet mothering needs in healthy, life-changing ways through other people. The Mom Factor is a biblical route to wholeness and growth, to deeper and more satisfying bonds with your family, friends, and spouse -- and to a new, healthier way of relating to your mother today.
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Est. Packaging Dimensions: Length: 8.42" Width: 5.56" Height: 0.67" Weight: 0.55 lbs.
Release Date Oct 1, 1998
Publisher Zondervan Publishing
ISBN 0310225590 ISBN13 9780310225591 UPC 025986225599
Availability 0 units.
More About Henry Cloud, John Townsend & John Sims Townsend
Dr. Henry Cloud is a well-known author of over twenty bestselling books, a co-host of a nationally syndicated radio program, and a clinical psychologistwho has appeared on numerous radio and television broadcasts. He has also been featured in many publications, including the Los Angeles Times, The New York Times, and The Boston Globe. Dr. Cloud is a frequent speaker at Saddleback Church and Willow Creek Church. He lives in Los Angeles with his family.
Henry Cloud currently resides in Los Angeles, in the state of California.
Henry Cloud has published or released items in the following series...
Reviews - What do customers think about Mom Factor?
Understand your mom, and yourself as a mom! Mar 7, 2007
I picked up this book to help me deal with my elderly mother. I had an abusive upbringing and need to come to terms with it. This book was awesome! It doesn't blame the mother at all, but gives help to the adult child on how to compensate for what mom didn't have to give. It was also invaluable to me to see mistakes I am making with my own children, and how to correct them. I will say, the book does get pretty deep into psychology...some parts are a difficult read.
This Book Will Change Your Life! Feb 24, 2006
For so long I've mostly heard about how important a father is in a child's development. I've never heard anyone else speak about how profound the mother's role is in the child's devlopment like this book does. I feel like I've gone to the eye doctor and have been given new glasses to see more clearly with. I think this book is core reading for anybody who wants to understand why they are the way they are. Like the back cover of the book says, "She shaped you in ways that would surprise you both."
Life Changing Mar 7, 2005
This book has been so very helpful in figuring out both my past and present relationship with my mother. In addition, it has helped in dealing with her and other mothers in my life. It also helps me to be the best mother I can be to my young children. It is a must read for anyone that struggles with the "mothers" in their life.
Non-Christians BEWARE Nov 9, 2004
This book is SO full of Christian reference and biblical mumbo-jumbo that it is worthless to anyone who is not Christian. The preview pages available to view are EXTREMELY misleading as to the content of the majority of the book. If you are not a Christian, save your money.
Practical & Biblically Based Help for Adult Children Oct 16, 2004
Drs. Cloud and Townsend are Christian psychologists who are very well known in the Christian community. They are popular speakers and co-hosts of the nationally broadcast New Life radio program. They are best-selling authors of a number of books, including the very popular "Boundaries" series. The authors explain how the mother you had (and have!) influences the adult you are today. They help you to transform the effects of the past and re-build your adulthood, which may or may not include your mother. Feelings of resentment, sadness, anger and grief are not resolved by denying them, they must be processed and worked through. We must watch out for our tendencies to resist adulthood, freedom, and equality and to return to the child position with our mother figures. Different types of mothers and their emotional problems and effects on us are discussed in detail, as well as how to deal with them. These include the China Doll Mom, the Controlling Mom, the Trophy Mom , the American Express Mom, and the Still-The-Boss Mom. Inappropriate reactions of other relatives are included. For instance, in the China Doll Mom chapter, we are taught that any attempt to communicate directly with Mom about your relationship is fraught with danger because she will often be in tears, upset, or out of the room before you have completed your first sentence. "The adult child feels guilty for `hurting mom,' especially if other siblings fuse with mom's self-victimization. The rest of the clan is often unable to understand the control and manipulation behind mom's demeanor. The siblings will then unite against the "black sheep" who is so mean to mother. In this way, they are able to displace their own frustration with mom onto a safe target: the child who tries to reconcile honestly." There are a number of Scriptural references to teach us how to respond, for instance, by challenging or rebelling against improper authority, taking stewardship over our own lives, and understanding that we do have choices which, although they may disappoint or anger others, are the best options for our own welfare. Although we often inwardly disagree with our mothers' behavior, "It is important to outwardly disagree, confront, refuse evil, and stand against wrongdoing. You can learn to change your silent no to an audible one." There are many suggestions for improving our adult relationship with our mothers, setting boundaries, learning to say "No", and protecting ourselves. This book helps us to understand that these actions are Biblically based and NOT un-Christian-like. The author's teach us that the child needs to discover God's path for herself, not her parent's preordained plan for her life. Some mothers overestimate their role of authority- God created an authority structure from HIMSELF on down. A grown child no longer submits to her mother's authority. GOD WILL ULTIMATELY BE THE CHILD'S ONLY PARENT. If Mom is not interested in seeing you as an equal, you will be taught to set limits, including limits on how much exposure to Mom you will endure, what subjects you will or will not discuss, etc. The Mom Factor gives us permission to accept and be at peace with our mother's anger at our growing independence. She will be frustrated because she can no longer control you, and you will learn to "Let her be who she is: someone who wants something she cannot have." In my ministry work with adult daughters of controlling or abusive birth-families (see Luke 17:3 Minstries website), I have found this book to be an invaluable resource. Adult children so much need to understand that to be treated with respect and kindness by those they love is their right, and that it is Biblically "okay" to protect themselves from abuse. I highly recommend this book, as well as "Boundaries", to those who are struggling with family power and control issues. God intended us to be free! It is up to each one of us to reach out and claim the freedom he offers us. "They have greatly oppressed me from my youth, but they have not gained the victory over me. Plowmen have plowed my back and made their furrows long. But the Lord is righteous; he has cut me free from the cords of the wicked"...Psalm 129: 2-4.