Item description for Boundaries In Marriage by Henry Cloud & John Townsend...
Overview Learn when to say yes and when to say no--to your spouse and to others--to make the most of your marriage
Only when a husband and wife know and respect each other¿s needs, choices, and freedom can they give themselves freely and lovingly to one another. Boundaries are the ¿property lines¿ that define and protect husbands and wives as individuals. Once they are in place, a good marriage can become better, and a less-than-satisfying one can even be saved.
Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend, counselors and authors of the award-winning best-seller Boundaries, show couples how to apply the 10 laws of boundaries that can make a real difference in relationships. They help husbands and wives understand the friction points or serious hurts and betrayals in their marriage¿and move beyond them to the mutual care, respect, affirmation, and intimacy they both long for.
Boundaries in Marriage helps couples: ¿ Set and maintain personal boundaries and respect those of their spouse ¿ Establish values that form a godly structure and architecture for their marriage ¿ Protect their marriage from different kinds of ¿intruders¿ ¿ Work with a spouse who understands and values boundaries¿or work with one who doesn¿t
Publishers Description Learn when to say yes and when to say no--to your spouse and to others--to make the most of your marriage Only when a husband and wife know and respect each other s needs, choices, and freedom can they give themselves freely and lovingly to one another. Boundaries are the property lines that define and protect husbands and wives as individuals. Once they are in place, a good marriage can become better, and a less-than-satisfying one can even be saved. Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend, counselors and authors of the award-winning best-seller Boundaries, show couples how to apply the 10 laws of boundaries that can make a real difference in relationships. They help husbands and wives understand the friction points or serious hurts and betrayals in their marriage---and move beyond them to the mutual care, respect, affirmation, and intimacy they both long for. Boundaries in Marriage helps couples: * Set and maintain personal boundaries and respect those of their spouse * Establish values that form a godly structure and architecture for their marriage * Protect their marriage from different kinds of intruders * Work with a spouse who understands and values boundaries---or work with one who doesn t"
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Est. Packaging Dimensions: Length: 8.41" Width: 5.47" Height: 0.67" Weight: 0.65 lbs.
Release Date Aug 12, 2002
Publisher Zondervan Publishing
ISBN 0310243149 ISBN13 9780310243144 UPC 025986243142
Availability 0 units.
More About Henry Cloud & John Townsend
Dr. Henry Cloud is a popular speaker, psychologist, co-host of the nationally broadcast New Life Live! radio program, and co-founder of the Cloud-Townsend Clinic and Cloud-Townsend Resources. He is the author of many books, as well as co-author of the 2003 Retailers Choice Award-winning God Will Make a Way and the Gold Medallion Award-winning Boundaries (over 1 million copies sold). He maintains a private practice in Newport Beach, California, andlives with his wife and two children in Los Angeles."
Henry Cloud currently resides in Los Angeles, in the state of California.
Reviews - What do customers think about Boundaries In Marriage?
Outstanding book! Feb 7, 2007
I've read all kinds of books on marriage, and this is the first one I recommend to almost everyone. My husband and I just finished co-leading the Boundaries study at our church, but I found that this book takes Boundaries one step further. We have a great marriage, but this book has so many principles to live by that I will return to it for years on little issues and big ones. It's the closest thing I've seen to a "marriage manual," completely based on Biblical principles, and it just plain WORKS. It's totally worth a read for any married person, and shelf-worthy as a reference book thereafter!
Really Good Book Jan 9, 2007
Boundaries in Marriage describes Couple and Marriage Problems deeply and proposes some new tools to deal with them. The theory of Boundaries is really well developed and deeply detailed. The authors cover an unexplored secret of human relationship which is the dependence between self love and love to other people.
An Incredibly Helpful Book for the Married and the Engaged! Dec 28, 2006
This was the first book by Dr. Cloud and Dr. Townsend that I have read. Therefore, I can neither confirm nor deny another reviewer's statement that it is essentially a rehash of the original Boundaries book. Having not read any of the other Boundaries books yet, I found this one to be quite excellent.
Whether or not you are a believer in Christ, this book can still be incredibly helpful if you're willing to read it with an open mind. It may even be helpful if you have a closed mind and you don't even want it to be helpful. ;) The strength in it is that it is not a "How To" book. The authors realized that lists of surface actions to change don't change the heart. They focus on pointing out principles and revealing truth. They give plenty of examples and paint pictures of how certain actions make others feel. This helps you see beyond yourself, thus allowing you to interact with your spouse with greater grace and mercy. The changes in your actions are the result rather than the solution.
Another thing I really like about this book is that it explains what submission and sacrifice in marriage really look like in the Bible and not in what the world believes that to look like. It explains that submission is always to be done in love and with the perspective of EVERYTHING that God has taught us through His Word. This means that submission and sacrifice do not mean giving up all your desires and doing everything your spouse tells you to do; it means upholding your responsibility to love your spouse no matter what (ie. loving them enough to help support the end of unhealthy behaviors and actions). Truly love your spouse as the Bible commands, will require you to say, "No," some times, it will require you to actively participate by voicing your own feelings and taking ownership for them, and it may even call for you to create a boundary of space by removing yourself if your spouse is being abusive. I have found this book to be very helpful for relationships outside of marriage as well (friendships, work hierarchys, family, etc).
The book begins by clarifying what a boundary really is (a means to help us determine "...where someone's control begins and ends" pg 24) and what it is not (a means to control someone else). It then continues to dislodge general society's definition of boundaries you may have in mind by explaining why and how boundaries and freedom are not mutually exclusive. Part 1 continues with a discussion of truths (laws) about marriage and people in general to be taken into account when one is setting boundaries and trying to respect another's boundaries.
Part 2 discusses 'oneness' and 'twoness', and it also addresses values. I believe the reviewer who had issues with this book being focused on twoness misunderstood this section. The authors are just pointing out that you weren't always one together so you have to understand that it takes work for two to become one. In fact, their first real statement in this section is that oneness is actually God's very design for marriage. Their point is that you can't depend on someone else to complete you; the idea is for your spouse to compliment and enhance you. My only issue with this section is that no person is absolutely complete, and the authors seem to take the assumption that this can be and should be the case. Christ is still completing a good work in us, and we won't be complete until we are home with Him in heaven. I think a better way the authors could have phrased this section is that the individuals should be able to assume responsibility and understanding for both their strengths and shortcomings.
Part 3 is the practical section that guides you in handling conflict. It helps you learn to handle it by first helping you define the type of conflict. It addresses handling conflict with someone who is willing AND with someone who is resistant.
Finally, Part 4 reemphasizes what boundaries are and what they are not. It discusses the misuse of boundaries.
This book holds quite a bit of information. I would recommend reading a section or two at a time and allowing breaks in between readings to evaluate and soak in the information. I hope you glean something valuable that will bless you from this book! Enjoy!
An excellent book, but only if you have a close walk with Christ first Dec 4, 2006
I would have given 5 stars but I caution those who are new to Christianity and are less familiar with God's word. I was given the Boundaries book four years ago but it must not have been the right time for me (or God knew that I wasn't mature enough in my walk) to use the wisdom found in Boundaries properly. I was going through a severe marital crisis and God led me to His Word to learn all I needed to know. Now that my marriage is being healed and having spent the last four years learning God's Word and learning to lean on Him and follow the Holy Spirit's promptings, recently I checked out the book at the library and found some good advice. In fact I enjoyed it thoroughly, specifically it reinforced that it was important to recognize how we are responsible for our own behavior and that alone if worked on can influence our relationships dramatically. I also realized that we are not to take ownership of other people's emotions. The Holy Spirit spoke these words to me based on my own experience with family and all the drama I used to involve myself with. The Holy Spirit also said to love others through their weaknessess. Overall this book was very helpful. The examples hit home. I am concerned about the way some scriptures are interpreted differently from the way I've been taught. It almost seemed like the author had an idea of his own and then turned to the Bible to support his belief rather than starting with a biblical principle and then using it to incorporate into his experiences. The only way to discern is through seeking the Lord dilligently, being prayerful and being led by the Holy Spirit in each situation. Do not be deceived. You can take all you've learned, but what counts is obedience at the very moment that God is asking you to do something that seems contrary to what you know...like when Abraham was asked to sacrifice his son. I do recommend this book for those who have a close walk with the Lord but suffer from being a people pleaser. One example I offer and as the Bible points out, 'do not rescue an agry person otherwise you'll have to rescue that person again'.
Great and helpful source of information Mar 8, 2006
This book has helped me face the fact that I had not been looking to change myself but rather had been focusing on changing my husband. I was spending so much time and energy on him and his issues, I had completely lost sight of mine. I picked up the book to learn how to help my husband by setting boundaries and ended up learning I can only change myself! A great book, I highly recommend it ..