Item description for Get Married: What Women Can Do to Help It Happen by Candice Watters...
Overview Blending her own personal journey to marriage with the biblical perspective on marriage, the author gives women permission to want Christian marriage, encourages them to believe it is possible, and equips them with the tools they need to get there--despite the anti-marriage culture. Original.
Is it okay to want to be married? Is there anything a woman who has never been married can do to make marriage more likely? Candice Watters gives women permission to want Christian marriage, encourages them to believe it's possible, and supplies the tools to get there despite our post-marriage culture. "Get Married" includes the author's personal journey from singleness to marriage as well as a biblical perspective on marriage. It shows how living intentionally is the key to marrying well. "Get Married" is a fresh and hopeful perspective that empowers single women to pray not only for their friends, parents, and churches, but the men who are (or could be) part of their lives.
Citations And Professional Reviews Get Married: What Women Can Do to Help It Happen by Candice Watters has been reviewed by professional book reviewers and journalists at the following establishments -
CBA Retailers - 01/01/2008 page 68
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Studio: Moody Publishers
Est. Packaging Dimensions: Length: 8.4" Width: 5.5" Height: 0.5" Weight: 0.45 lbs.
Release Date Jan 1, 2008
Publisher MOODY PRESS BOOKS #13
ISBN 0802458297 ISBN13 9780802458292
Availability 1 units. Availability accurate as of Sep 19, 2017 06:40.
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More About Candice Watters
STEVE and CANDICE WATTERS met at Regent University while earning Masters Degrees in Public Policy. Marrying shortly after graduation, they moved to Colorado to work at Focus on the Family. Steve grew up in Washington, NC and Candice grew up in Toledo, OH and so the West was a great place to help them leave and cleave.Today, the Watterses live in Louisville, KY where Steve serves as vice president for communications at the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. He is also working on his M.A. in family discipleship. Steve and Candice speak, write and feed their blog, www.FamilyMaking.com, as they're able.They spend a lot of our time enjoying, guiding, serving and being stretched by their four children: Harrison, Zoe, Churchill and Teddy.The Watterses founded Boundless.org webzine for Focus in 1998. Candice served as the Boundless editor for four years until leaving in 2002 to be a full-time mom, doing a little freelance writing and editing on the side. Candice is the author of Get Married: What Women Can Do to Help It Happen (Moody, 2008). Together Steve and Candice wrote Start Your Family: Inspiration for Having Babies (Moody, 2009). STEVE and CANDICE WATTERS met at Regent University while earning Masters Degrees in Public Policy. Marrying shortly after graduation, they moved to Colorado to work at Focus on the Family. Steve grew up in Washington, NC and Candice grew up in Toledo, OH and so the West was a great place to help them leave and cleave.Today, the Watterses live in Louisville, KY where Steve serves as vice president for communications at the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. He is also working on his M.A. in family discipleship. Steve and Candice speak, write and feed their blog, www.FamilyMaking.com, as they're able.They spend a lot of our time enjoying, guiding, serving and being stretched by their four children: Harrison, Zoe, Churchill and Teddy.The Watterses founded Boundless.org webzine for Focus in 1998. Candice served as the Boundless editor for four years until leaving in 2002 to be a full-time mom, doing a little freelance writing and editing on the side. Candice is the author of Get Married: What Women Can Do to Help It Happen (Moody, 2008). Together Steve and Candice wrote Start Your Family: Inspiration for Having Babies (Moody, 2009).
Reviews - What do customers think about Get Married: What Women Can Do to Help It Happen?
Great Book Dec 9, 2009
This book was so great that I couldn't stop reading it. Now I want to go back and reread it taking notes and highlighting all the great information. I'm a strong Christian single woman who so desires to be married but didn't know what to do about it. This is one great opinion with good information that I'm putting into practice. Now I'm no longer afraid to admit my desires and wont settle for anything less!
I wish I didn't buy this book--weak scriptural basis and faulty conclusions Dec 7, 2009
I bought the book wanting to like it. The message that as single women we should be praying and trusting God to give us the desires of our hearts is a beautiful and scriptural one. Yet I found her argument that God has created marriage for basically everyone who wants it to be simplistic and weakly based in scripture. In defending marriage as part of God's plan, I felt Watters lifts marriage up to almost the same level as God's plan to be in relationship with us. Yes, marriage is a beautiful thing and a blessing from God, but there is no biblical basis that everyone who wants to be married is going to get married. In fact, there are many examples in the Bible of people not getting the thing they prayed for and going through very difficult situations. But we also see God redeeming those situations (e.g., Joseph being wrongly sold into slavery by his brothers, but God uses that for Joseph to be in position to save all of Israel during the famine). God hears our prayers and answers them, but often not in the ways we expect--and that includes marriage.
Furthermore, I think it is unscriptural and dangerous for Watters to say that "the notion [that marriage can become an idol] has been blown out of proportion" (p. 47). An idol is anything that becomes more important to your heart over God, and that includes good things (like marriage, a job, family) that you make into an ultimate thing. I agree with Watters that desire for marriage is not a sin and is a good thing. But I know that God has convicted me in addition to many of my godly single friends of ways that our hearts have twisted that desire into an idol, believing our future husbands will fill all our relational needs and affirm us in ways that only God can. I am concerned that women who are similarly being convicted by God will read this book and feel justified in their unhealthy desire for marriage, a desire that has twisted a good thing into the ultimate thing that they have to have to be happy.
In addition, Watters appears to limit her view of singleness to a few statistics and her own experiences as a single woman. I disagree with Watters emphasizing that singleness can lead to idleness, a point she draws from 1 Timothy 5:13-14. This conclusion overstates Paul's concern of single people being idle, and she seems to brush aside Paul's words affirming the blessing of singleness in 1 Corinthians. To support her weak exegesis, Watters sets up a dichotomy between her single life (where she sipped lattes at Borders, didn't spend that much time involved in ministry, and struggled to have discipline over her waistline, fitness, and budget) and married life (where she became more disciplined in her spiritual life, diet, fitness, and budget, and became more involved in ministry). In contrast, I have found my singleness has given me tremendous opportunities to focus on God--praying a lot, serving in the church and spending time ministering to people in ways I likely wouldn't be able to as a married woman. Also, God has taught me many lessons about putting God over food, staying fit, and being a good steward with my budget. That is not to say that my experience is true for all single women, but I'm also not writing a book where I'm overgeneralizing my experiences to all single women.
A Much Needed Message For Young Women Today!! Oct 2, 2009
I had been debating if I should buy this book or not. I finally did thinking that I needed to know this information just as much as if I was preparing to do anything else in life. As she says in the book, if a woman was going to live as a doctor, lawyer, landscaper, or most other jobs, it would be expected that they do their best to prepare to be the best in that area they can. They'd spend thousands of dollars and endless amounts of time in learning that profession. Why, then, when a woman wants to live as a wife and mother, any effort put into it preperation before marriage on her part is so often discouraged? Doesn't the very Word of God give women this so important role in life?
Candice opens the book with a story from her college experience when she was 32. Her professor went on and on about the various ways our culture is not following God, and the consequences of it. She asked him directly what she could do to help reverse it, and he told her, "Get married, make babies, and do government." She was slightly offended because although she wanted to get married, the opportunity had never arose. A lot of women today are in those same shoes. This book is about what women can do to help their future marriage along. Not make it happen, but help it happen.
The first few chapters are about the reasons for marriage and how to esteem it as honorable, according to God's Word. Candice tells some ways of how my generation is downplaying marriage: from making light marriage-degrading (and male-degrading!) jokes, to recreational dating, to cohabitation. I agree with her that one major reason people are delaying marriage is because they don't think it is a worth-it as God said it is. Thus, avoiding all forms of degrading Biblical marriage and esteeming Biblical marriage and family is one way that women can help their future marriage happen.
Another way she points out that women can help marriage happen is to have a good social network. And by that, she means a Christ-centered local church and if God has blessed you with a Christian family, not just Facebook. As she points out, our culture used to aid in forming God-honoring marriages, but now it does just the opposite: discourages God-honoring marriages and attempts to tear them apart if they do happen. It is imperative for a young woman who wants a good marriage to seek the counsel, the authority, the covering of their dad and mom, of their pastor and wife, and other older women or older couples whom they know are abiding in the Word.
Two chapters are written for the young woman currently involved in a dating relationship or a "friends with benefits," as she puts it. I agree 100% that based upon the Word of God, dating or friends with benefits should not continue and continue without a direction, because this is the defrauding 1 Thessalonians 4:1-8 is talking about. Also, 1 Corinthians chapter 7 makes it clear that the married men and women are... married, and should live like it. And the unmarried men and women are... unmarried (surprise, surprise), and should live like it! There's not room for years of dating or friends with benefits in between. In other words, there's no place for a "relationship status" to be "taken" for very long without marriage or moving on separately, as the Lord leads. As she points out as well, if a young woman has a "friends with benefits" "friendship" with a young man that doesn't have a clear direction, it may be preventing her future marriage with a different man who wouldn't ask because shes "taken!" She gives advice for how a young woman should confront the man she is dating, and ask him to either lead the relationship according to the Bible or stop hanging out. The bottom line is that if its defrauding another believer or disabling her (or him) to live according God's Word as an unmarried person (living in holiness) it is sin. And sin always brings confusion... and death.
The chapter on Living Like You're Planning To Marry was especially encouraging to me. She acknowledges the hardships that marriage brings, but confirms that it is worth it, and why children are worth it! If, as Christians, we know that God thinks "blessed is the man who finds a wife" and "children are a heritage from the Lord," why is the attitude to delay marriage and family in order to have as much fun as possible before hand?! Mixed messages there. We are not called to have a ton of fun or enjoy ourselves. I agree with Candice that we need to focus on living like Christ-followers: being selfless and obedient to Him... which is also great preparation for marriage. (Coincidence? No way.)
Throughout the whole book she talks about prayer involved in every way, because a young woman's relationship with God is of utmost importance, unmarried or married. But she says she used to think that prayer was the only way to help her marriage happen, by begging God. And while we are to be persistent in our prayers (like the parable of the persistent widow), the Bible makes it clear that unless God has asked that a woman should remain unmarried, she is called to get married.
One of the only things I did not quite agree on with her is the level of importance of family involved in the pre-marriage years. She states that it is very important to have family and church so involved, but I think it is very, very, very important to have family, especially the father and mother, involvement as one of the top priorities. I realize that many, of no fault of their own whatsoever, do not have one dad and one mom to be a spiritual covering... and then that is where the church family fits in. He is faithful to provide. I am ever-so thankful that God thought up the wonderful idea of family!!
Excellent advice for women who want to get married. Sep 4, 2009
Get Married is the go-to book on how to do just that. I thought the book, overall, was just excellent. It is filled with useful advice that a woman can actually use in order to make her dreams of marriage come true. Everything in this book struck a cord with me, especially the chapter titled "Living like you're planning on getting married'--so true. If you think you're never going to get married, well, guess what, it's probably not going to happen. So, this is the book for any woman who wants to get married--don't miss this one! Another one that helps, too: Man Magnet: How to Be the Best Woman You Can Be in Order to Get the Best Man-A Guide To Dating (Revised Edition).
Life changing May 23, 2009
This book is life changing if you are a single woman tired and lonely and feel like God is not listening or doesn't care. It is not about how to get married, it is about what God has planned for our lives.