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The Power of Apology: Healing Steps to Transform All Your Relationships [Paperback]

By Beverly Engel (Author)
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Item Number 157053  
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Item description for The Power of Apology: Healing Steps to Transform All Your Relationships by Beverly Engel...

Overview
The words "I'm sorry" are crucial for emotional and physical well-being. Using real-life stories, therapist Engel explains why the inability to give, ask for, and receive an apology causes much unhappiness in people's lives. And she offers practical, easy-to-follow prescriptions for putting the transforming, healing force of penitence to work. 272 pages, softcover from Wiley & Sons.

Publishers Description
"Fresh and useful . . . excellent practical advice . . . thorough and lucid . . . will be welcomed by many who have struggled to ask forgiveness and to forgive."
-Publishers Weekly
A finalist in the Books for a Better Life Awards competition
Discover the healing power of apology and put its magic to work in your life
Do you have a difficult time apologizing or are you involved with someone who does?
Do you tend to overapologize and appear weak in others' eyes?
Do you want to reconcile with someone but feel they owe you an apology first?
Do you need to apologize or make amends to someone but don't know how to go about it?
In this inspiring book from internationally acclaimed therapist and self-improvement author Beverly Engel, you will learn why some people have difficulty apologizing while others tend to overapologize. You'll learn how to give a meaningful apology, how to ask for one, and how to receive one. From making amends with those you have hurt to dealing with someone who refuses to apologize to teaching children responsibility and empathy, this life-changing book shows you how to bring a healing new element of renewal into every relationship in your life.
"Beverly Engel has eloquently explained the power of apology in a remarkably insightful and perceptive manner. No one has been better able to explain what an apology means and its role in reconciliation."
-Rabbi Charles A. Klein, author of How to Forgive When You Can't Forget: Healing Our Personal Relationships
"Readers of this wise and lucid guide to the neglected art of authentic apology will acquire a powerful tool to help repair relationships with others and with themselves."
-Jeanne Safer, Ph.D., author of Forgiving and Not Forgiving: A New Approach to Resolving Intimate Betrayal
"An engaging and in-depth book on a subject that has rarely been addressed so intelligently and thoroughly. Ms. Engel offers the reader specific suggestions that can help you improve all your relationships."
-Steven Farmer, M.F.T., author of Adult Children of Abusive Parents

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Item Specifications...


Studio: Wiley
Pages   272
Est. Packaging Dimensions:   Length: 8.94" Width: 5.8" Height: 0.74"
Weight:   0.69 lbs.
Binding  Softcover
Release Date   Aug 5, 2002
Publisher   Wiley
ISBN  0471218928  
ISBN13  9780471218920  
UPC  723812218929  


Availability  82 units.
Availability accurate as of Apr 23, 2017 06:05.
Usually ships within one to two business days from La Vergne, TN.
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More About Beverly Engel


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BEVERLY ENGEL is an internationally recognized expert in emotional and sexual abuse. She is the author of several other self-help books, including the highly successful The Emotionally Abusive Relationship, Loving Him without Losing You, and The Emotionally Abused Woman. Engel conducts workshops and professional training programs and has appeared on many national television shows, including Oprah, Starting Over, Donahue, and Ricki Lake.

Beverly Engel currently resides in Cambria, in the state of California.

Beverly Engel has published or released items in the following series...

  1. Fawcett Book


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Reviews - What do customers think about The Power of Apology: Healing Steps to Transform All Your Relationships?

What a REAL apology looks like- giving and accepting one  Dec 16, 2004
Beverly Engel is a psychotherapist and recognized expert in the fields of relationships, women's issues, and abuse. In her previous book, "Divorcing A Parent", she describes her own painful decision to divorce her mother because of continual abuse. After she wrote that book, her mother bought it and read it. Her mother then apologized to the author and changed her behavior, and they have since reconciled. This book, The Power of Apology, was then written, to encourage others to heal themselves and those they have hurt by apologizing, and to encourage the victim to try to accept the apology.

I frequently recommend this book in my ministry, Luke 17:3 Ministries, for adult children of abusive or controlling birth-families. It is very useful in teaching us to recognize a GENUINE apology which may open the door for a reconciliation and loving relationship, as opposed to a "fake" apology, which will usually only set us up for more hurt down the road.

The author explores some reasons why people won't apologize, such as pride, fear of giving up power, thinking an apology is a sign of weakness, etc. She teaches you how to ask for an apology.

She discusses the right way and wrong ways to apologize, meaningless or fake apologies, apologies without remorse, apologies delivered through clenched teeth and bumbled apologies like the conditional apology ("I'm sorry, but...") , the half-apology ("I'm sorry you feel bad), and the apology in which the wrongdoer trivializes the damage he caused.

We are told the necessary ingredients in a meaningful apology are regret, responsibility, and remedy, and that the offender should make no excuses.

We are helped to accept apologies with forgiveness and some obstacles to forgiveness are discussed, such as anger, pain, fear of being hurt again, and pride.

The author distinguishes between spiritual forgiveness and human forgiveness, and makes the point that reconciliation and forgiveness are not the same. She includes "When Sorry Isn't Good Enough", "When Expecting Forgiveness Can Be an Insult"," and "When Forgiveness Is Unhealthy."

The book talks about making amends, and healing your family when there has been an estrangement. The Power of Apology teaches healing steps to transform all your relationships, and hopefully bring your family back together.


 
Disappointed  Feb 10, 2003
I was disappointed in this book. It doesn't say anything most of us don't know. It could have been summed up in five pages or less, too. The sort of people who don't apologize or who give insincere apologies or who demand instant forgiveness also know this stuff and would not read a book like this even if they didn't. I'm surprised this one found a publisher.

Beverly Engel has written many other books that are indispensable. Try The Emotionally Abused Woman or Encouragements for the Emotionally Abused Woman instead. Divorcing a Parent is also very good.

I was hugely disappointed that the author seemed to repudiate much of what she wrote in Divorcing a Parent in this book, because her own abusive parent finally apologized to her. Whatever she believes about that turn of events or is tempted to believe, I don't think it should have generated another book. It almost seems like a betrayal of her readers, most of whom will not be receiving any such apologies and who may struggle for years to find the strength to cut ties with abusive parents - using her books to shore them up in ways society doesn't.

 
Reading's voice keeps the simple lessons easy  Jan 9, 2002
Kate Reading narrates this classic account of discovering the healing power of apology. This outlines healing steps which may be taken to transform relationships, outlining common barriers to healing and how to overcome them. Reading's voice keeps the simple lessons easy.
 
FABULOUS BOOK--A MUST-READ!  Nov 5, 2001
Thank God for this insightful, life-transforming book by Ms. Engel! Reading this book was like
receiving rain in the desert in the heat of summer! While embroiled in a troublesome situation,
after reading this book, I finally understood why asking for an apology is mandatory in certain
situations, and why receiving a bitter, insincere apology feels insulting and annoying and serves
only to escalate the problem, creating more ill-will and distancing. I also learned what the

elements of an effective apology are, and why not receiving a sincere, heart-felt apology makes
one increasingly angry, resentful and frustrated. Thanks to Ms. Engel, I now understand why
simply "glossing over" or "pretending it never happened" isn't a healthy, viable option when one
has been grossly insulted or mistreated, as well as why apologizing enhances, rather than
diminishes, the one who apologizes. For anyone who wants to understand the inner-workings
and dynamics of healthy relationships, and desires to understand when, where and how a sincere
apology fits into all of this, thereby improving the quality of his/her own relationships, this is a
must-read book!

 
FABULOUS MUST-READ BOOK!  Nov 5, 2001
Thank God for this insightful, life-transforming book by Ms. Engel! Reading this book was like
receiving rain in the desert in the heat of summer! While embroiled in a troublesome situation,
after reading this book, I finally understood why asking for an apology is mandatory in certain
situations, and why receiving a bitter, insincere apology feels insulting and annoying and serves
only to escalate the problem, creating more ill-will and distancing. I also learned what the

elements of an effective apology are, and why not receiving a sincere, heart-felt apology makes
one increasingly angry, resentful and frustrated. Thanks to Ms. Engel, I now understand why
simply "glossing over" or "pretending it never happened" isn't a healthy, viable option when one
has been grossly insulted or mistreated, as well as why apologizing enhances, rather than
diminishes, the one who apologizes. For anyone who wants to understand the inner-workings
and dynamics of healthy relationships, and desires to understand when, where and how a sincere
apology fits into all of this, thereby improving the quality of his/her own relationships, this is a
must-read book!

 

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