Item description for What He Must Be...If He Wants To Marry My Daughter by Voddie Baucham Jr...
Overview What He Must Be... If He Wants to Marry My Daughter outlines ten qualities parents should look for in a son-in-law, including trustworthiness, a willingness to lead his family, an understanding of his wife's role, and various spiritual leadership qualities. --from publisher description
All parents want their daughters to marry godly young men. But which qualities, specifically, should they be looking for?
What will you say when that certain young man sits down in your living room, sweaty-palmed and tongue-tied, and asks your permission to marry your daughter? What criteria should he meet before the two of them join together for life? What He Must Be... If He Wants to Marry My Daughter outlines ten qualities parents should look for in a son-in-law, including trustworthiness, a willingness to lead his family, an understanding of his wife's role, and various spiritual leadership qualities.
Author Voddie Baucham follows up on his popular book Family Driven Faith with this compelling apologetic of biblical manhood. By studying the principles outlined in his book, parents who want their daughter to marry a godly man-as well as those who want their sons to become godly men-will be well equipped to help their children look for and develop these God-honoring qualities.
Citations And Professional Reviews What He Must Be...If He Wants To Marry My Daughter by Voddie Baucham Jr has been reviewed by professional book reviewers and journalists at the following establishments -
CBA Retailers - 02/01/2009 page 35
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Studio: Crossway Books
Est. Packaging Dimensions: Length: 8.95" Width: 6.07" Height: 0.52" Weight: 0.75 lbs.
Release Date Feb 1, 2009
Publisher Crossway Books/Good News
ISBN 1581349300 ISBN13 9781581349306
Availability 0 units.
More About Voddie Baucham Jr
Voddie Baucham Jr. (DMin, Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary) is dean of the seminary at African Christian University in Lusaka, Zambia. The author of a number of books, including Family Driven Faith, The Ever-Loving Truth, and Joseph and the Gospel of Many Colors, Baucham is also a pastor, church planter, and conference speaker.
Reviews - What do customers think about What He Must Be...If He Wants To Marry My Daughter?
You want to marry MY daughter? Mar 31, 2010
As the name implies, this is for help with young men who want to date/marry your daughter. It is packed full of practical information - lots of common sense - he must be a provider, protector, spiritual leader, good family leader, loves his parents, siblings, etc. I would recommend this to fathers everywhere. (and mothers,too)
Blowing My Mind Mar 17, 2010
As a young single woman, I've been waiting for God's man for me for what feels like a long time (I'm 25). Reading this book is both reaffirming and eye opening. I haven't finished reading yet, but I cannot count the number of times I have already thought in my heart "THANK YOU!" as I am reading it.
THIS BOOK IS NEEDED BY MY GENERATION -- Ladies, read it! Get a handle on HOW GOOD it will be when you get what GOD wants to give you! Fathers, read it! Get some needed instruction and inspiration on raising your sons into the kind of men you would be proud to give your daughters in marriage to. Young men, read it! Let God grip your heart with holy fear, and let the wisdom given by the spirit empower you to commit yourself to God in becoming "What He Must Be..."
This kind of writing could save my generation. I pray that it will.
For Everyone, not just Fathers Jan 28, 2010
Voddie has written an excellent book that brings to light a great need in our culture, the spiritual development and maturity of our young men. Using a biblical framework the book shows us what are good standards to hold young men to and to encourage them to.
This book is good for all ages, it is written for:
Fathers: To look out for their daughters in whom to marry. Parents: To train their daughters to look for this man and men to be this man. Young Men: To grow and seek after becoming a man after God's own heart. Young Women: To find a man like this and ignore the rest who aren't The Church: To hold our young people accountability to the high calling they have in God, and to raise and disciple young people to this calling
A great read for everyone, challenging and relevant for now and the culture/society to come.
Finally a book for parents! Jan 8, 2010
We have been looking for a book specifically for parents to help confirm what we believe to be our place in our daughters' lives. Most of the books available are for the young couples trying to navigate their way through this dating/courtship/marriage time in their lives. We wanted something to help them but from our perspective. This is it. It is practical yet foundational written with a heart to please God.
Helpful, but Exegetically Sloppy Jan 3, 2010
There is much with which I can agree in this book. For example, fatherlessness is a major problem in the home [pgs 22-23]. Also, I appreciate Dr. Baucham taking the time to deal with the almost epidemic of believers marrying unbelievers [chapter 4], and his insistence that men must lead a household [Chapter 5]. As Kostenberger says in his endorsement, one need not agree with everything in the book to benefit from it.
However, I was greatly disturbed by the exegetical sloppiness of Dr. Baucham's work. For example, he, like Albert Mohler before him, uses 1 Corinthians 7:8-9 as if it is relevant to the issue of "delay of marriage," [p.37] completely ignoring Gordon Fee's interpretation, which is also echoed by, among others, Blomberg, and Hays. If this text is referring to widows and widowers, then it is totally irrelevant to Dr. Baucham's case. Also, he ignores that Genesis 2:18 is then followed by 3:16 which says that the marriage relationship is now tainted by sin, and, just as it is not good for man to be alone, it is not good for man to be married because of sin. Indeed, in Voddie's discussion of marriage, the effects of the fall upon marriage are not taken seriously. Also, the passage he does quote commanding younger widows to marry, 1 Timothy 5:11-14, is in the context of laziness [v.13]. Thus, it is not a blanket command for women to marry, but Paul giving these women a task to keep them from being busybodies, and being lazy.
Also, one must point out that Voddie Baucham says that he believes that procreation is one of the purposes of marriage [p.39]. Under a certain interpretation of that phrase, I can agree. The only possible avenue through which one can procreate is in marriage; anything else is sin. However, what Dr. Baucham means by that is that all marriages must produce children if they can. However, his exegetical presentation is totally unconvincing. First, he quotes Genesis 1:28 as "Be Fruitful and Multiply" [p.39]. However, he does not quote the next phrase which makes his interpretation impossible. "fill the earth." If he takes "Be Fruitful and Multiply" to be a command that an individual couple must follow, then by what logic does he not take "fill the earth" to be a command that an individual couple must follow? As a result, he would have to conclude that a couple that has twenty children must have sinned, because twenty children doesn't "fill the earth." Staying consistent with Voddie's interpretation, one would have to argue that every individual couple has an obligation to have 20 trillion children. Such is absurd. Most Hebrew scholars, such as my professor, Dr. Richard Averbeck, take the word "man" in verses 26-28 as a collective noun meaning "mankind" because it is the antecedent of plural suffixes in this pericope. Hence, the commands to be fruitful, multiply, and fill the earth are given to a group, the "species" of humans, and not to individuals.
Also, he argues that the ESV is correct in translating Psalm 127:5 as "Blessed is the man who fills his quiver" since the Hebrew term mille' [to fill] is in the piel stem which is active, and thus, the ESV is "got it right grammatically" [p.124]. However, as anyone who has studied advanced Hebrew grammar will tell you, you cannot just consider the grammatical form, you must consider the discourse grammar as well. In my opinion, this is a fatal flaw of Dr. Baucham's exegesis. He never gets beyond the sentence level to the discourse level. In this case, he misses the fact that, throughout the first four verses, the emphasis of Psalm 127 is the essential nature of the Lord's provision. It is the Lord who builds a house, watches over a city [v.1], and gives sleep [v.2]. The second section of this Psalm begins in verse 3 with nachalat Adonai, a genitive of authorship declaring that children are an inheritance that comes "from the Lord." Hence, what becomes important is not the fact that mille' [to fill] is in the active piel stem, but rather the fact that it is 3ms, and could have a subject of either "the man" or "the Lord!" If "the Lord" is the subject of mille', it would be translated something like "Blessed is the man whose quiver he [that is, the Lord] fills with them." In fact, given the discourse, "the Lord" does seem to be the most likely subject. However, the reason why translations translate "whose quiver is filled" is because they are leaving it open as to who the agent of the "filling" is, whether "the Lord" or "the man."
Finally, I think that the real problem here is Dr. Baucham's methodology. He espouses a christocentric understanding of the Hebrew scriptures [pgs.61-63]. This understanding does not take the text of the Hebrew Bible seriously. It is not that we must see Christ in all of scripture, but, rather that the logic of the Hebrew Bible leads us to Christ, as the laws connect to the historical books and the prophets, and expectations are built and then shattered. The Hebrew Bible then creates the expectation of messiah who will come and fulfill those shattered expectations. Also, Voddie relies heavily on the imagery of Christ and the church in relationship to marriage in Ephesians 5:25ff. He even says that a husband must "present his wife holy" [p.114]. However, the nature of imagery demands that there be both similarities and differences between the two ideas. What we are to do like Christ is love our wives [v.25], and take care of them [v.29]. The section about sanctification is merely to tell us how it is that Christ showed us his love. In fact, even John Calvin, in his commentary, said that it was impossible for a husband to sanctify his wife.
Hence, while this book is beneficial, because of the exegetical sloppiness, I cannot recommend it.