Item description for Escape from Intimacy: Untangling the ``Love'' Addictions: Sex, Romance, Relationships by Anne Wilson Schaef...
Overview The author applies her theory of addiction to the problems of sex, love, and romance to show how addiction to each of these leads to shame, guilt, and violence and away from intimacy
Publishers Description The problem of relationship addiction is examined in this book and the author applies the addiction of sex, love, romance and relationships to her broader addiction theory. She investigates sexual anorexia, sexual violence, the role of shame and guilt and the role of self-esteem.
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Anne Wilson Schaef, Ph.D., author of Women's Reality and Co-Dependence, is a lecturer, organizational consultant, former psychotherapist, and workshop leader who trains health care professionals throughout the world in Living Process Facilitation. She lives in Boulder, Colorado.
Anne Wilson Schaef currently resides in the state of Montana.
Reviews - What do customers think about Escape from Intimacy: Untangling the ``Love'' Addictions: Sex, Romance, Relationships?
An interesting view on the relationships May 28, 2007
I would reccomend to read this book to all people involved into any kind of relationships. It's not all Q&As but it's a real and logical view on many "mystical" things that we often shy away from.
Keep working your program Dec 15, 2001
This book was helpful to me, although I felt the author was still working out her issues of control in her writing. The author spoke extensively about the 12 step program and how invaluable it was to recovery, but it seems that she is still stuck around two or three. Relinquishing self-will is vital to emotional development. Not only did the author try to suggest that polygamy was a much more acceptable and reasonable concept for relationships in the coming future, she refused to acknowledge God in her recitation of the twelve steps but instead chose to refer to him as a Process. Of course as an author she is entitled to write as she desires, but based on the topic on which she chose to write I was surprised at her single-minded desire to impose her views upon the reader, rather than offering the advice along with other alternatives and allowing the reader to decide
life-changing! Dec 1, 2001
reading this short book has changed my life. i found myself detailed in practically every page. having experienced several failed relationships and a generally "unlucky in love" sort of life, i recognized myself in these profiles of sex, romance, and relationship addicts who form "pseudo relationships" that are designed to keep the addict from knowing her true self. Schaef, a recovered "pseudo relationship" addict, details all the tricks of this disease, which is a progressive and fatal addiction like all other addictions (drugs, alcohol).
if you think this statement sounds like malarky, read Schaef's book to see how true it is! Addiction serves to alter a person's mood or perception. This can be accomplished without drugs or alcohol. Relationship addiction is a "process addiction," whereby the addict spends his or her time focusing on an external stimulus (the relationship) instead of taking care of their Self! Most useful is Schaef's list of behaviors exhibit by sex, romance, or relationship addicts. I found myself in nearly every one!
This constellation of addictions is tricky to detect because the very skills to support the addiction "appear" to be relationship skills AS TAUGHT on tv, movies, in the general folklore of our culture. Which, as Schaef explains, is an addictive society, so it reinforces our addictive behaviors. These process addictions are VERY common, and at the heart of other conditions such as depression, anxiety, etc.
DO NOT BE FOOLED...cynics may read this review and find what I've written here to be self-help/new-age gibberish. Schaef's book is very short (158 pp.), extrememly readable, totally lucid, and very clearly organized, with information that builds on itself in an expert, lockstep manner.
I HIGHLY recommend this book to anyone who suffers in relationships. If you have failed relationship after failed relationship, or are in an abusive situation, or feel compelled to lie/cheat/distort the truth to maintain a relationship, or have any other self-realized behavior that you know is unhealthy but don't know what is "wrong," PLEASE READ THIS BOOK.
I believe this book will have a life-changing affect on anyone who reads it and relates to the information within. After all, the disease of addictive relationships is a disease of relating: we are not relating to people, but to our fantasies of what "relationships" SHOULD be.
A Must Read for all Women Nov 20, 2001
Anne Wilson Schaef is one of those rare people with the gift of understanding women in modern American culture. The insight in her books is nothing short of genius.
A great book May 8, 2000
The book was very eye opening. Where I had previously labeled my self as 'Co-dependent' I can now see where it is truly another addition of MINE in my life. I had felt almost a superiority in wearing the 'Co-dependent' hat, and can see after reading this book how it is a mask that was hiding my own addiction. Now I have to do the work.
It was easy to read and very realistic - the examples were very helpful for me to see my own patterns in creating relationships. My favorite section began on page 103 " The following are some of the skills used to form pseudo- (addictive) relationships."... I am an expert at 9 out of 10 of the skills and previously thought that I was just a nice person, good friend, etc...