Item description for Love Is Never Enough: How Couples Can Overcome Misunderstandings, Resolve Conflicts, and Solve by M. D. Aaron T. Beck...
Overview Explains how trouble couples can utilize cognitive therapy to resolve conflicts and achieve effective communication
With eloquence and accessibility, Dr. Aaron T. Beck analyzes the actual dialogue of troubled couples to illuminate the most common problems in marriage--the power of negative thinking, disillusionment, rigid rules and expectations, and miscommunication.
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Studio: Harper Paperbacks
Est. Packaging Dimensions: Length: 8.02" Width: 5.39" Height: 1.1" Weight: 0.75 lbs.
Release Date Oct 18, 1989
Publisher Harper Paperbacks
ISBN 0060916044 ISBN13 9780060916046 UPC 099455014007
Reviews - What do customers think about Love Is Never Enough: How Couples Can Overcome Misunderstandings, Resolve Conflicts, and Solve?
review Feb 11, 2008
Good book! Finding it very insightful and very "real" life! Makes for entertaining reading while learning.
Review: Love is Never Enough Aug 23, 2007
I purchased this book for a couple who were in need of some "3rd party" assistance to help them with communicating with each other. My understanding from the husband is that the information contained in the book has proved very helpful.
Excellent book! Jul 14, 2006
I felt this book was insightful, consise, and most importantly helpful. The strategies in this book focus on automatic thoughts, your perception of your mate, and how to foster good communication. The tone of the book is very friendly and non confrontational. If your relationship is in trouble, or you just want to improve your relationships, this is a good book to get.
Great book, but some shortcomings..... Mar 28, 2006
This is a great book on cognitve therapy as it applies to relationships. It is well-written, rigorous and illustrates important points with useful examples.
This book goes way beyond what you might see in a pop psychology book and the material is presented in a way that it can be applied. It also provides a useful framework for understanding cogntive therapy in general.
What I feel is missing from this approach is honoring basic compatability. While emotions are strongly linked to thought, there is more to making a relationship work than working through communication patterns and automatic thoughts.
A useful complimentary book is "Will Our Love Last" by Sam Hamburg. This book looks at the aspects of relationship having to do with compatability along three dimensions... chemistry, what he calls wavelength and practical everyday living. This approach provides an alternative lens to look at what is going on beyond the cognitive aspects of the couple's situation.
Sustaining a relationship Jul 19, 2004
Aaron T. Beck MD, is the father of cognitive therapy and professor of Psychiatry at the University of Pennsylvania. His books on depression and anxiety broke new ground in the field of psychotherapy by demonstrating the power of breaking the link between automatic thoughts and emotional reactions. He married Judge Phyllis Beck in 1950 and the couple is blessed with children and grandchildren.
I have often been frustrated by the destructive habit patterns that emerge in my relationships. LOVE IS NEVER ENOUGH has helped me to understand their origin and more importantly, how to remove them. It has been a valuable tool not only for my personal but also my spiritual relationships.
Dr Beck writes that, _The essence of marital cognitive therapy consists of exploring with troubled partners their unrealistic expectations, self-defeating attitudes, unjustified negative explanations, and illogical conclusions. Through a tune-up of their ways of drawing conclusions about each other and talking to each other, partners have been helped by cognitive therapy to relate to each other in a more reasonable, less hostile way."
And it works! The basic principle of Dr Beck's approach is simple yet substantial. The cornerstone is to strive for a solid foundation of trust, loyalty, respect and security. In short, to become a committed ally, a supporter and champion of my mate. Second, cultivate the tender, loving part of the relationship, and finally, strengthen the partnership by developing a sense of cooperation, consideration and compromise.
These are lofty goals with abstract meanings. I have always known that I wanted these admirable attributes as a part of my relationships, however, it was not until I studied Dr Beck's cognitive therapy that I gained the tools required to implement. By recognizing when distortions automatically enter my thoughts, I am able to resist the naturally tendency of accepting them. Opposing the temptation to react provides me with control over my emotions and prevents me from falling into destructive behaviours and habit patterns. I am able to respond in ways that are consistent with my hopes, dreams and goals for my relationship.
If you are interested in developing stronger more secure relationships in all parts of your life, this book may be interesting to you.